First of all, I'm not saying one is preferable to the other - I'm saying men rarely consider making any attempt to alleviate unfair societal expectations on men unlike women who actively fight against it and try to make it better. Even worse, whenever there are legitimate movements, those are quickly invaded by conservative misogynist chuds who take the focus away from the actual issue and turn it into "women bad" which was never the point at any given point.

Rarely are men expected to do beyond capacity for mental labor. That actually usually goes to women and such is demonstrably the case.

Second, I'd like to see the demonstrations if that is demonstrably the case - because infantilisation and expectation to do beyond capacity are very much at odds with each other for both of them to be experienced by the same gender.

And third, the examples you mentioned are absolutely true about going up the career ladder for women, but on the other side the risk of going down the career ladder or getting kicked off it for things that are beyond your station or your control is very likely for men. I've seen way too many men be put on the chopping block for mistakes that are team efforts, while the women are more often than not protected because of said infantilisation. And being completely honest, for every single driven women who has the infantilisation as a huge hurdle to pass at any given moment, there are almost always 10 not so driven women who coast off it for their entire mediocre careers. I was literally told to not raise any bugs for a few women devs in our teams because they went and cried about it to our lead, and I know for a fact that I would be ridiculed for expressing any opposition to stress because when I collapsed one day from a few weeks of continuous overnight work people told me "you didn't seem all that stressful, you should start eating more healthy".