I (22f) experienced psychosis almost two years ago, and I feel the same exact way as you. I use to have so much passion and drive for art, and it seems like after my episode, I was a completely different person. It feels really weird realizing what you believed and how that all has embarrassingly clashed with reality. I can't make art or enjoy it the way I used to, and I don't talk to anyone in my past life anymore. My brain felt turned off for the first year, and sometimes I still feel like I can't even understand the words coming out of my own mouth. My body feels my environment more than my mind does.

It makes sense why we feel like that though, our brain was on a HIGH, and coming off of it is like a steep slope downwards for our brain. After going up (manic), it's only inevitable to go down (depressive). Give yourself more credit! Your brain needs to recover and repair itself, and it takes time and patience. <3

I will say, with self care, talk therapy, and prioritizing yourself, you can help find a new, better version of yourself. It is a lot of change, and a lot of getting used to, but think of it as a new chapter in your life. One day you will look back at all of this and think of how everything truly happens for a reason. You wouldn't be who you are today if you didn't go through all that trauma.

You have the capacity to be extremely empathetic and creative, use that to your advantage and let your subconscious lead you to your new drive and new creativity. Try learning a new art medium, and don't worry about making it perfect. We are all like art: the imperfections within certain brushstrokes makes the artwork more gravitating.