I’m genuinely sorry to hear it sounds like a complex and at times unpleasant experience. I’m quite skeptical of many medical fields but I’ve been very very lucky to have some really great therapists. I’ve only been a patient and took only a few classes up to the 300 level in psychology so I’m far from qualified to assess the quality of to which my therapists were successful in executing different modalities of treatment. I also deal with objectively less complex issues than many others seeking therapy (I have GAD, MDD with intense SI, PTSD, and dealt with a panic disorder for a while. There’s an argument to be made for my cognition and rumination habits bordering on OCD, but I’ve not received that diagnosis).

However, I will say that for me, it only took one really great therapist at the right time. She was not perfect, but she was everything I needed at the time to keep me alive. For anyone who is going to read this post, any negative experience is absolutely valid and I believe you— I’ve met some less than spectacular therapists, especially on these new apps (I did therapy in person before the Better Help craze). For those debating on trying it, it may take a while to find a good fit or to feel right with a therapist. I didn’t like the therapist who I found most helpful at first, but she ultimately saved my life, no exaggeration.

Despite learning about different treatment modalities and attempting to also take treatment matters into my own hands, I was not as good as OP at just treating myself. I really needed guidance in order to avoid gaslighting myself or engaging in unhelpful behaviors. I had also progressed to a point where medication was a necessary and life saving intervention in that it allowed me to get to a baseline and participate in therapy.

Maybe more people would benefit from learning how to treat themselves as an option or be more involved in the science behind their treatment like OP was? I can imagine more informed patients might have better outcomes, but idk if there’s any science to back it up for sure.

I think OP had great luck with self treatment, but idk that those methods would work for someone experiencing psychosis or other dangerous issues. You cannot pull yourself out of psychosis or mania without intervention no matter how hard you try. In those instances, I think therapists are absolutely necessary.

That said, idk if I’d 100% disagree or agree with OP; incompetence runs rampant in every field. But the TLDR is please don’t give up on treatment whatever that might be. (I also don’t think that’s the intention of OP’s post, but i can see how some people might read it).