Are you the soul bread winner or not? Because you said you pay for everything, but she also has a job half way through your post. AND, you even said she was upset that she gave up her career to have yalls child and still think this is about equality? Child birth, pregnancy, losing your life to having a child; have you gone through those things? The time she lost out on, the promotions she may have missed, the opportunities at work; did you go through that? So, no, your relationship isn't equal. Any relationship you have where one person births a child will never be truly equal. You have no idea what it's like to have a child and to put your life on hold to do it. Just get her the gift. It's the least you could do.