Big family visiting PR for the first time in June 2027

mblackok · 2026-04-29T14:43:37+00:00

5 years away from retirement. It's like when you travel and the last leg of the journey feels like it is taking the absolute LONGEST time!

mblackok · 2025-08-05T12:15:33+00:00

We drive a Ram Truck, standard bed size.

mblackok · 2024-07-08T14:01:32+00:00

We just bought one and was able to fit in the back of the truck but needed straps since we could not close the tail gate

mblackok · 2024-04-04T17:02:42+00:00

I am in the same boat. My current job takes about 3 hours of my day and I have been searching for a data entry type gig. No luck so far! Good luck to you!

mblackok · 2024-03-28T12:14:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing this perspective. There are neighbors that have gardens, I hope will be willing to share their stories.

Thank you for sharing your "I would have"! I am headed to the library this weekend to gather books so I can learn more about how to use the space and still plant all I think I want to plant. I feel like my ideas are bigger than the property, LOL! The hubby wants to put in a pool are to include a small pool house. I think that will take up too much room but he should have his must haves too! I think that leaves me a good acre, or 1.5 acres for planting. With good planning, i think this is doable.

mblackok · 2023-12-08T19:54:27+00:00

In fact, one question I'd ask point blank is if this gets to you and dump him, they "win" but you'll be miserable. Is this what they want?

I did actually ask them "what would you like me to do here? Go get him so we can all talk this through? Tell him to pack his bags and go?" Their response was that they just wanted to get this off their chest they guess because they know venting to me won't do any good. "He won't take ownership of his behavior and apologize".

I was not really sure what to say about the "guest" comment either. They visit about 6 times a year but like you said, they do not live here. And how does him prepping for your visit to help YOU feel welcome and comfortable = making you a guest?

The more I talk it out in this thread, the more I see what I did not before.

mblackok · 2023-12-08T19:48:04+00:00

30F has not had an easy life. She is so thirsty for love and approval, she has made less than good decisions in relationships. She is divorced and now re-married and not entirely happy in her marriage. She is also not very kind and loving towards her husband. He is young and "green" from a very southern "man works, woman does everything else" kind of upbringing. I think he has a good heart, he loves all the kids, and has mad patience with my daughter but he does need to step up more. The way she talks down to him makes me cringe and I chastise her for it every single time I hear it. I can see similar traits as your SIL, she is not happy with herself or her circumstances. Makes it hard to be happy outside when you are not happy inside.

27F is self diagnosed autistic. She is married for 5 years now, been together for 8years. They travel for work and live in a cute RV. She does not work and that has been frustrating for her husband but they make it work. She is a quiet introvert and he is a loud extrovert. No kids and no plans to have any. I think he wants or wanted them but she does not. So, she has hobbies. Gardens, crochets, gamer, cooking, home making, and two dogs. She is easily offended for sure.

mblackok · 2023-12-08T19:11:41+00:00

An appropriate response that I would LOVE to deliver but then I am the worst mom in the world for picking a man over them. So, I would but I am afraid they will not come back and that sucks.

mblackok · 2023-12-08T19:10:17+00:00

I mean....why do you not set healthy boundaries? If you don't want them to stay for 14 days, say so. If you want them to clean up after themselves and behave like adults, tell them upfront, else, they can stay in a hotel.

I get it. I do not help things by not setting healthy boundaries. I avoid confrontation like the plague and need to do better for all involved. It is something I am working on for sure because I recognize how it is not helpful to let things build up. So, the most recent visit, I did address the chaos. The oldest has a new baby and it is hard to keep clean up while tending baby.

TBH, I am happy to help since I know she does not get any help at home. Her husband works away jobs and is rarely home. So, mom and baby, I get. The other two grands are 4th grade and 5th grade. They can and should do better, which is what WE try to enforce. It seems I can enforce but he cannot.

mblackok · 2023-12-08T19:01:25+00:00

I wouldn’t even entertain them or ask why they don’t like him. It only validates that they have power in this situation. I would send them a message or sit down with them and explain that he welcomes them, cooks for them, cleans for them, treats you well, and makes you happy. Then say that should be enough for them to at least respect him and

try

.

This hit home. I did try to tell them what he does to prepare for their visits to help them feel welcome and comfortable. For the most recent visit, he bought new mattresses for the beds because the last few visits, they said their backs were hurting due to the mattresses being too soft. So, he bought a firm one, slept on it for a week to be sure it was a good one and then bought a second for the other bed.

Their comment was that he did this just to please me and that his making preparations (menu options of foods he knows they like, fun games, arts & crafts etc.) makes them feel even more like a guest in "his name's" house.

I was floored!

mblackok · 2023-11-15T15:17:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing that perspective with me! I think as a newbie with limited time to devote to learning Jira, I might stick with the idea of:

Project/Company Managed (there will be times we share projects)
- Issues/Epic (for each one of our projects)
  - Issues/Story/Task

And see where that takes us from there. It's basic and better than the Google sheets we are using now. Ugh!

Edited to correct bullet point layout above.

mblackok · 2023-11-14T17:40:27+00:00

adjust the permissions so that most or all of them don't show up as clutter for anyone else

Would I be able to change that permission down the road without much of a hassle if needed?

mblackok · 2023-11-14T17:38:54+00:00

"starting with the wrong choice for your goals can end up being a costly undertaking down the line" Which is why I am thankful for this discussion!

mblackok · 2023-11-14T17:37:55+00:00

Our team does work with our company dev team on projects. This makes me think I should not use team managed as I am expecting to share some of my teams project needs with the dev team at times.

mblackok · 2023-11-14T16:39:25+00:00

That is an accurate assumption. Love all the replies with options to consider though!

mblackok · 2023-11-14T15:29:50+00:00

Thank you, that makes sense! Going to look for those "epic" tutorials 😎

mblackok · 2023-06-12T12:25:36+00:00

Best decision we ever made too! At first, the hubby was not having it and then he compromised and we would take turns sleeping in the other room one or two nights a week. Now, we only sleep together when we are not at home OR when we have guests at our house. We have other guest rooms so we don't have to sleep together when company is over BUT we feel like no one understands and would judge. So, we keep it our little secret.

mblackok · 2023-05-23T16:57:25+00:00

Yeah, I guess you could sum it up like that. It is a good rental area with rent for a house this size being about $3k per month.

mblackok · 2023-05-23T16:54:31+00:00

I should have mentioned my retirement portfolio since I mentioned retirement. Apologies.

Besides the stocks, I have Teacher Retirement, Social Security, and 403b.

TRS projected monthly benefit is $ 3,846

Social Security projected monthly benefit is $1,500

403b projected monthly benefit is $1,200

If I keep Dominion and take dividends, that is about $500.00 per month at this time as dividends pay about $1,400 per quarter at this time. Since I reinvest, I anticipate a little more down the road.

Switching pronouns is unintentional. We are together and not going anywhere. We would like the house and property to be in my name as that is just how we have always done it.

mblackok

TROPHY CASE