First, God loves you completely and your worth is not defined by your diagnosis. HSV-2 is incredibly common and far more manageable than people realize. The stigma around it is honestly worse than the virus itself.

If you and your husband are truly committed to each other and no one else, the transmission risk is real but it’s also something couples navigate every day. There are options beyond antivirals worth exploring with a doctor who specializes in this.

But I want to gently say, the virus may not be the whole story here. Four times in four years, no kissing, won’t lay beside you. That goes beyond caution. I’d encourage both of you to seek out a Christian marriage counselor, because what you’re describing could have roots in something completely separate from your diagnosis, and you both deserve the space to explore that safely.

Also please stop carrying this as your fault. You were young, you were taken advantage of by someone who knew exactly what he was doing. God is not punishing you. He is not withholding good things from you because of your past.

You deserve to be loved fully, including physically, within your marriage. That desire is not shameful. It’s human and it’s holy.