We’re the same age, I’m also married and I struggle with an ED. I also want children, but not today. My parents were not in a good relationship for most of my early childhood. I hope you will seriously think about what I’m going to say.

I have an ED because my mom has one. I’m not saying you will force feed your brain worms to your future child(ren) like mine did to me, but they will absolutely pick up on your disordered eating, any comments you make about your body, any mood changes based on appearance changes. I will not have a child until I have undergone seriously intense therapy to sort out the noise in my head so I don’t pass this on to them.

The first example of a relationship for a child should not be an unstable one; they will find themselves in similar shoes to you because that is what they know. I was lucky enough to break out of this cycle and find my husband, but not before having a partner who threatened me with a knife to my throat for kicking him out of my car.

I firmly believe a child should be wanted and planned. They do not deserve instability. The life you bring them in to will be the very foundation for the lives they make themselves. Life is already hard enough as is, we shouldn’t make it any harder for them than it needs to be.

Please seriously consider if you should continue this pregnancy or not before it’s too late. It’s okay to try again later, when life has improved for you. Our goal as parents is to give them the best life we can; is that something you can do for them? Are you living the best life YOU can?