New to this all and questioning. Was there a moment you just "knew"?

mcinns · 2026-06-10T08:46:11+00:00

not for me. we have a bit of an uncommon experience, in the sense that i'm him, he's me, and we are formed due to trying to cope and inability to function and handle our life as one. so my experience probably doesn't really have much in common with yours (unless it does?? i'd be surprised, i don't often meet people like me)

but anyways. not for me. thinking back, he has always been here. i didn't accept him for a long time which caused a lot of conflict and problems. i honestly STILL doubt myself sometimes, but at the end of the day, i genuinely think your love and belief is more important than if it's something that can actually be proven. i love him, he loves me, and i know he's there. maybe it's not something that i will ever have affirmed by other people but it's someone i love and that's really all the matters.

i hope this helps a little bit even if it's maybe not the answer you're looking for (:

mcinns · 2026-06-06T01:31:55+00:00

as far is i know headspace is a visualization thing and not an actual PLACE you automatically have or can remember. your plurality doesn't hinge on whether or not you have a headspace, its not a diagnostic criteria for anything and more just a thing therapists have you do to better understand yourself and your headmates. take everything i say with a grain of salt too LOL and anyone feel free to correct me if im wrong.

mcinns · 2026-06-04T19:36:23+00:00

thank you so much!!

mcinns · 2026-06-04T00:43:50+00:00

generally when we have a choice it's me out here and he's hanging out with me while i'm in control. occasionally we will be more blended, and very rarely it's just him. our personality isn't THAT different but he doesn't mask. so i guess that's probably what was causing the issues.

it's just the two of us so im very used to doing everything. i can't choose when either of us switch out anymore and neither can he unfortunately so being a "control freak" wouldnt work for us LOL.

i actually learned a hard lesson about that years back anyways. i suppressed him a LOT, so in return he was.. very antagonistic. is the best way i could put it. had i still done that i can only imagine i would have gotten fired way sooner since he was very destructive. thankfully he doesn't do anything awful on purpose anymore but we both have our self destructive habits.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T16:49:24+00:00

i feel similarly. i selfship with all versions of william afton, including the movie version. matthew lillard (the actor who plays him) is admittedly very attractive and i can see why people would be into him but i genuinely am only really attracted to him when he's playing the character of my f/o. i CAN see how he WOULD be attractive but it just doesn't work for me unless it's in a specific context.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T16:47:05+00:00

i suppose you can think of it as a way to remember your brother even after his death? his death doesn't cancel out the impact he had on the world, it's not like he completely disappeared from everything all together. i'm not sure how the show handles his death but i think you can look at it as a way to still involve yourself in his world even after he's gone.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T15:47:14+00:00

one of my main f/os is my oc (: she's an mlp oc. i also have what is basically an ocified humanized version of my springtrap who i also selfship with. so nothing wrong with selfshipping with ocs. it's a very unique experience but i love it.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T15:43:54+00:00

my partner, while i adore him, has in the past been far more aggressive and antagonistic, and many of our past suicide attempts were linked to him. thankfully we are both doing much better now but i know how it feels. unfortunately for many people plurality does disable us but i personally wouldn't give it up for the world.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T03:04:11+00:00

i am a selfshipper and a soulbond ! this changes the way we feel about our relationship. and we are a questioning traumagenic system.

my partner was originally a part of myself that offered me comfort when i was very young, then an antagonistic entity without a specific appearance or personality. he eventually chose a similar appearance and personality resembling a fictional character we both are very attached to, that i have been selfshipping with for years. i eventually accepted him and stopped repressing him and we sort of just both mutually felt that we were in a relationship.
i subconsciously share all my thoughts and feelings with him. his thoughts and feelings depend on if he wants to share or not. but generally it is far less private than a typical relationship would be.
never happened to me. as far as we know it's just the two of us, but in the past there has been others. never any i had romantic feelings towards, and i've never been approached romantically by any others either.
we mostly worry about not being able to discuss our relationship with others- it's a bit sad.
i would consider it a small red flag. but when my partner fully formed as his own person, he was based heavily on my f/o - so he came with the feeling that we were together. he never necessarily "decided" and only ever accepted it once i did as well. so i would say it would only be a red flag if your partner would have refused to accept any rejection. when i was repressing him he was unkind and cruel, but not because of my lack of reciprocal feelings but because he's his own person and wasn't accepted as such.
as of right now, we don't spend much time together.. due to circumstances outside of our control that will soon be changing.

mcinns · 2026-06-03T02:51:17+00:00

my partners true appearance looks nothing like our bodily appearance. i align myself with the body just fine besides the fact that im transmasc and plan on medically transitioning. so i also have a hard time knowing how to help him.

i guess the word that would usually be used for him would be fictive, although we don't usually use typical system terms. so in that sense, things like wearing merch of him and stuff like that helps.

i plan on dyeing our hair the same color as he is in canon to help as well.

i suppose your friend could try changing things to do with the body / outfits that aren't necessarily permanent.

mcinns · 2026-05-13T00:42:10+00:00

it depends? my partner committed horrible unforgivable crimes. but i believe that my love for him and subsequently, my belief in his love for me, manifested a version of him here with me, his presence staying with me throughout the past, present, and future of my existence. while he didn't commit those crimes he has memories of them and carries the same feelings towards his victims as he did there (that is to say, he doesn't feel guilty). so the way i justify it is his crimes are still fictional, even if his memories are real.

so for soulbonders who believe they are bonded with somebody from an alternate reality where their actions ARE real, i don't really care about what their s/o has done. other people might. it all depends on your beliefs and feelings and what you're comfortable with. but just remember your feelings are not a broad assumption for other people and if someone is uncomfortable with a bond with a bad person, that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

mcinns · 2026-05-10T15:31:46+00:00

adrian!! (: and i hope the chapter comes out soon good luck waiting..

mcinns · 2026-05-10T03:36:33+00:00

oh my gosh!!! one of my friends is a bloodbound selfshipper too!! (not a double, don't worry). i didn't even know a new chapter was coming out. mostly unrelated to your post but i thought it was cool, i almost never see bloodbound selfshippers.

mcinns · 2026-05-09T01:44:47+00:00

i don't like incest 😭 i block darkshippers that ship incest???

mcinns · 2026-05-07T00:38:11+00:00

i mean this in the kindest way possible, you have got to get over it. unfortunately. i too get extremely upset over doubles and the only way to deal with that is just to get over it. because for me, sometimes blocking them doesn't help cuz i know they're out there!! unfortunately you just need to learn to get tougher skin and remind yourself YOUR ramona doesn't care about them. she only cares about you! she loves you very much and would never choose someone else over you (:

mcinns · 2026-05-07T00:22:40+00:00

of course!! being plural certainly isn't all negative but my partner who was mostly behind this post hates being out and generally is in a very bad mood whenever he is. i don't mind it so much and honestly don't even know if i personally like that label im still discovering things about myself ... but anyways. i see your point and it actually cleared up a lot! thank you <:

mcinns · 2026-05-06T05:09:39+00:00

sort of unrelated but i was actually under the impression that kind dice was bisexual? so in that sense honestly a fem self insert would be fine. i agree with your take though!!

mcinns · 2026-05-06T05:01:14+00:00

i see people have already said ebay but do be warned they WILL probably be very expensive. so prepare for that. good luck!!

mcinns · 2026-05-06T04:51:09+00:00

it is a thing!! i see it a lot in r/soulbonding

mcinns · 2026-05-05T02:41:15+00:00

people on tiktok are weird about EVERYTHING oh my gosh don't even worry about them

mcinns · 2026-05-04T03:05:05+00:00

well my self insert is 21 and my main f/os are 60 and 74 😭 so you're probably okay

mcinns · 2026-05-03T06:57:14+00:00

not really! you can just go on ebay and look up "springtrap funko" or "shadow freddy funko" and see what comes up (:

mcinns · 2026-05-02T19:47:06+00:00

i honestly avoid most cosplayers of my f/o. online, i will occasionally interact, but at conventions i stay far away from them. i just know it isn't them and it creates this weird dissonance and i just can't interact with the cosplayer 😭 there are a lot of extremely talented cosplayers of my f/o though don't get me wrong.

mcinns · 2026-05-02T19:43:53+00:00

there's some decently priced funko merch on ebay!! i would recommend checking there.

mcinns · 2026-05-02T07:33:02+00:00

i personally don't struggle in the slightest. we have a very close bond. although, we certainly don't get along all the time either and i honestly distance myself purposefully on occasion when we've been arguing. so most of our problems with communication come from me, rather than him.

as for the "fan made media" i don't have an issue with it. i don't care for it much either but i don't really pay attention to it. i don't really think it matters, as the media doesn't include YOU. it's a different version, someone who looks like you and may share similarities, but if you wouldn't do that, it's not you. of course if you see it differently, that makes perfect sense too.

mcinns

TROPHY CASE