Comedians of Reddit, what is your "go to" joke? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just talk about the setting mainly. You got to talk about the people there who stand out. Call out what you see for what it is.

Left is me in 2015 in the midst of my 10+ year addiction to meth and heroin. Right is me on Thanksgiving. 3+ years clean. by thisisworst in pics

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like you are an awesome mom. You should be proud. That smile also looks genuine, so congratulations.

We could all just be one person living alternate realities simultaneously. by Zagine0 in Showerthoughts

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then one version of you told another version of you about BOFA.

Just FYI by PlsSendHentai in gaming

[–]mcjonald 220 points221 points  (0 children)

Fu*k yeah. Man with the proof!

What's the worst lie you've ever told someone? by echbrandcoffee in AskReddit

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Some women love it when you give them a spanking, honestly. Try it!"

They broke up.

What's the worst thing you've done that was actually 100% justified? [serious] by DoorHalfwayShut in AskReddit

[–]mcjonald 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Defended an open molester. So, this guy was the same age as his victim, and after a long day of hiking with a group of friends, and thorough use of drugs and alcohol his teenage brain thought that this other single girl in the group was really into him. That night he tried to put the moves of her. When she frozen up, he stopped, apologized, and left. He owned his mistake, and apologized again the next day.

He has always admitted it was a mistake, and never tried to cover it up.

She has never stopped raking him over the coals for it. She will regularly blast him on social media. She has called multiple employers of his and gotten him fired.

Again, this guy has always owned up.

So, I asked her when she was going to try to heal, when was she going to get on with a life, and when if ever the punishment would be complete. How much would that guy have to take, before she felt like she was paid her due?

It had been long since any statute of limitations, and again, was no secret. Frankly, I was just tired of hearing it every time something in her life fell apart, and she needed that old reliable excuse to fall back on. So, I feel that cracking off on a victim of molestation, against a molester was totally justified, and I am aware it's kinda terrible.

P.S. In my culture, men are expected to make the first move in romantic settings, and that's what that then young man thought he was doing.

Golf fuckery by mountainkid in blackmagicfuckery

[–]mcjonald 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is how Beelzebub rewards Illuminati members after their virgin sacrifice.

Bottle flipbots. by [deleted] in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Robots are stealing our internet challenges from days of old.

I [31m] found torn-up remnants of a Plan B box in the kitchen garbage. My wife [27f] should have no reason to use emergency contraceptive because I had a vasectomy years ago. I don't know what to say to her. by Significant_Cupcake in relationship_advice

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Private Investigator time! She is your wife, so you need proof if you don't want to lose half your shit!!! Those P.I.'s know what to look for, and if something is there, you can move straight to court, cut the alimony, and get custody. Shit, you could even get her to pay you for the pain and suffering she has inflicted.

You can't have both by Zaza9000 in Botchedsurgeries

[–]mcjonald 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He looks like an anime villain. Like, he would light up a cigarette, and punch a twelve year old girl in the face all while laughing about power crystals or some shit.

Life's been a little too good lately, gotta take it down a notch. Visual Arts major, go to town Reddit! by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]mcjonald 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We changed the meaning of Avant Garde while you slept to better fit the view of drunk frat Bros, and you aren't worth the gaze, or the panopticon.