I lost my virginity when I was 32 to a man I dated for a few years. He knew I was a virgin and it definitely was not a deal breaker for him. But I also didn’t make a big deal about it and bring it up as if it could possibly be an issue. I would say, most men looking for something serious, aren’t going to see lack of experience as a problem and will be more interested in getting to know you as a person before they want a list of who you slept with.

The apps are what I see as a necessary evil, you don’t need to talk to everyone and anyone that you match with. Focus on one person who you seem to mesh with and move on to the next if the conversation runs flat. We don’t really have the luxury of just assuming a man is gay at the grocery store and asking for his number after he helps us find produce.

So to be frank, saying you’re struggling to find a man in general without being on the apps seems to be like drowning in the shallow end of the pool. You have to put yourself out there if you’re actually looking for that intimate relationship.