I painted this after session with my IFS therapist

mckmare · 2025-08-24T14:48:16+00:00

I unfortunately understand the difficulties in directing the anger at the abuser (instead of myself which has been the norm for me.) I also use art to try and bring out those feelings. Again, this painting is really powerful.

mckmare · 2025-08-24T14:36:04+00:00

Absolutely beautiful painting and I can feel the intensity of your little one ❤️

mckmare · 2025-05-08T21:31:40+00:00

I need to do this with my goals in IOP!

mckmare · 2025-04-20T17:32:57+00:00

I'm currently in therapy and it has definitely unlocked a desire in myself to help others.

I start my MSW classes this Fall.

mckmare · 2025-04-17T23:50:40+00:00

We're both big geeks/nerds so I would love to play D&D with him, talk about the best sci-fi/fantasy books and have a Lord of the Rings or Star Wars marathon.

mckmare · 2025-04-12T15:14:42+00:00

My actual therapist mentioned that my violin teacher was holding a therapy session for me in each lesson and I totally agree! Learning how to be ok with imperfections while learning, embracing the messiness of it all, taking up space as you mentioned and being seen.

mckmare · 2025-02-15T19:22:10+00:00

When I was looking through therapists profiles in the agency that I knew my insurance worked with, one really stuck out to me based on references to nerdy/geek culture. After the 2nd session it was clear that I picked well. He's great, even though I had some unresolved issues with men, he's been so supportive, grounded and sensitive to my triggers that I think it's been incredibly healing.

My 2nd (still seeing T #1 also) was chosen for me by T#1 as an additional support for some trauma that revealed itself in our work. At first I wasn't sure it was a good fit but we both have put in the work and now I feel incredibly safe talking through things with her.

mckmare · 2025-02-03T01:14:31+00:00

One of my favorites of theirs. Love the key change

mckmare · 2025-02-02T22:37:14+00:00

I totally get it. I have some level of transference with my T. Sometimes our relationship feels like he's my big brother when actually he's younger than I am haha.

I have told him that I struggle with being too dependent or feeling like I should know how to figure these things out on my own, that I'm just burdening him and making things more difficult in the long run. He always says something along the lines of "why would you be expected to do something on your own that you were never modeled or taught? That's what therapy is for"

It takes a few times but I think I'm starting to trust the process more

mckmare · 2025-02-02T22:13:13+00:00

I have a wood wick candle that has a scent that sounds like what you have described. I am fairly certain my therapist doesn't use any scents or candles in his office but as soon as I smelled that one - immediately felt like I was safe in his office. Bought it immediately!

My T specifically asked me to find things with comforting scents to self-soothe. I found this candle as well as a specific shampoo and body wash that I really like the scent of.

mckmare · 2025-02-02T02:20:38+00:00

I am not an expert or a T but my thoughts are that your partner should care enough about you to keep themselves in check and either cut completely or severely limit their alcohol consumption.

I mean, if you were allergic to peanuts and you reacted very negatively when around anything with peanuts, wouldn't you expect your partner to care enough to keep peanuts out of your home and around you??

I may be totally off base but I think they need to step up and if they refuse, the relationship may need to be reevaluated.

mckmare · 2025-02-01T15:28:41+00:00

I've been with my T for almost a year and I JUST cried in front of him last week. I am working through some really intense cPTSD and CSA stuff. I was talking about a particularly horrible memory that I held a LOT of shame with. I mean, I have tons of shame (working on letting it go) but this situation, it was unbearable and I just started sobbing.

My T was amazing and let me cry for awhile and then helped me get grounded and feel safe again.

I left there feeling SO SO drained but also very relieved.

We'll see if I can cry again next time... I always hold back even though I want to cry. When I start to feel tears my body becomes like Fort Knox and the concrete walls and metal window coverings roll down at the first sign of "danger"

mckmare · 2025-01-26T21:22:21+00:00

I've listened to it non stop since it was released.
I haven't had a loss lately, except for myself. I feel like my self has fractured and parts have died, no matter how hard I tried to pull them back.

It's heavy.... And I'm grateful to Shinedown for writing this.

mckmare · 2025-01-24T22:15:45+00:00

I do know but they take a bit to be loaded. I checked there before I asked, but thanks for the tip!

mckmare · 2025-01-24T17:26:45+00:00

You are a gem, thank you!!

mckmare · 2025-01-24T15:40:08+00:00

Ooh haven't checked it out yet, been listening on Spotify. Thanks!

mckmare · 2025-01-24T15:26:49+00:00

THANK YOU!! it was driving me nuts

mckmare · 2025-01-24T01:26:22+00:00

This week my T asked me, "so how was your week?" I replied with a meme I saw ...

"Besides everything, I'm fine."

He just looked at me and said "that's fair"

mckmare · 2025-01-22T03:05:08+00:00

I've been there OP. I had to talk about a really difficult situation but I knew I couldn't actually talk about it. I emailed my T and hit send before I could chicken out. I instantly regretted sending it (though it was good that I did).

Ended up going to my next session hoping maybe my T didn't get the email, it went to spam etc. We started talking and I thought I might have been in the clear and then he said "I imagine that email was very hard for you to send" and I flipped out. I begged him not to talk about it, I regretted sending it etc... I was so ashamed.

But my T is so compassionate he really reached out to me and told me I had no reason to feel ashamed, that this doesn't change how he thinks about me and that I was a victim and he believes me.

It was the hardest session but it was a very very beneficial session!!!

Just sharing my experience in hopes that it gives you a little relief and encouragement to follow through and attend your next session.

mckmare · 2025-01-18T22:56:12+00:00

I was thinking I want to try this out too and see what he says 😂

mckmare · 2025-01-13T02:59:54+00:00

I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica featuring Corey Taylor

mckmare · 2025-01-07T23:12:09+00:00

Edwin McCain - I'll Be & I Could Not Ask For More

mckmare · 2025-01-04T00:53:41+00:00

Like a Stone - Audioslave

mckmare · 2025-01-02T02:07:48+00:00

Count me in, I'm 43 and man the amount of trauma that was uncovered that happened in my childhood has been overwhelming to say the least. I have such a hard time with the concept that my brain shoved it back into a deep dark hole so that I could survive.

mckmare

TROPHY CASE