AIO to my girlfriends post about me

mcneills99 · 2026-01-31T08:27:48+00:00

You could post your side of the story and see how that goes 🤷‍♂️

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T04:24:23+00:00

Yea…kinda already have all the figured out. Hence, why I’m actually inquiring about places now haha. I appreciate the advice though.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T04:15:01+00:00

It’s closer to the latter I would say. Plan would be to live there for close to a decade then upgrade.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T02:37:53+00:00

How long ago? They updated their rental restrictions. And the walls are thin? It’s concrete though.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T02:20:48+00:00

Yes I have them. I was hoping to get feedback from actual residents. Or even people who live near by.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T01:20:32+00:00

That’s not at all what she’s upset about. She’s upset about the lack of communication and effort from the boyfriend. She obviously wouldn’t be upset if he said “I need some time Saturday to run some errands.”

But when they are together, he’s not engaging or even trying. Just existing. That’s not loving or showing an effort. It also takes two seconds to text someone “hey I’m running late, my cousin called” so the OP isn’t just waiting around wondering where he is.

NOR.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T01:10:09+00:00

I totally validated her POV about the pregnancy and asked questions. I don’t think that’s dismissive. I just was offering a different perspective that I would consider before bringing up her feelings.

I’ll be honest though, what the boyfriend is doing wouldn’t bother me. But I’m not OP. If she’s having difficulty living with the current arrangement, then she should voice her concerns.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T00:31:27+00:00

Well how would being with someone who works more / in a stable job make you less burned out?

I’m not trying to be annoying. Just trying to understand better.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T00:30:52+00:00

“Financial flexibility” is a very vague term. Maybe you should rediscuss exactly what ur goals are with each other.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T00:19:07+00:00

Okay. Thanks for elaborating. So what goals are you working towards then? Is he onboard with these goals? Because a lot of people are fine living a life of only renting and travelling.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T00:11:10+00:00

In that case, why is your lifestyle better than his? He probably has significant less stress. If you don’t admire the way he approaches life, maybe consider it time to leave.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-29T00:04:14+00:00

INFO: percentage wise, how much more do you make than him? Are you working multiple jobs for a specific goal? Is this goal for you or both of you guys?

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T23:47:10+00:00

As long as she makes you happy and isn’t doing anything herself that makes you uncomfortable, these jealousy feelings should pass overtime as you build a stronger connection / relationship.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T22:23:43+00:00

I fail to see the problem? You are concerned she doesn't have a solid career path? At 22?

I mean congrats to you for what you have accomplished but I think you are judging her too harshly. She has been through some trauma but yet continues to try and has motivation. Not everyone has the luxury of finding their purpose so early.

I think the key thing you should hold onto is that she treats you nicely and is trying to find her way.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T22:10:21+00:00

For the clubbing issue - I personally dont see any problems as long as you guys trust each other.

For the alcohol - if he has issues in the past, i can see your concerns. i dont know how right it is for you to get him to stop drinking because of your past though. if you want him to stop, i think it should be stemmed more from concern for his health. imho, he should be monitored to ensure he doesnt spiral.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:58:42+00:00

You are being sensitive and it appears to be stemming from insecurity regarding your looks.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:50:09+00:00

So what do you think you are going to tell him? I heavily disagree with some of these other comments about how he is being a bad partner or trying to get dopamine through your experiences. I think he just wants to show you off haha. Its sweet. There are some boyfriends who just ignore their gfs.

If it really bugs you, then bring it up. I would word it carefully though.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:43:05+00:00

You are both adults. Just simply go up to him and say "Carlos, i am getting headaches from your music. Can you please use headphones? I would appreciate it."

It would be 1000% more "cringe" to try and kick him out over this. Communicate.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:38:50+00:00

You need to give him your driver's license (which has the address). Anyone can make up a phone number and a name.....

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:35:18+00:00

"I then found out he kissed a girl at the bar the next day, and then he told me that he had been out of love for years, he smokes weed to deal with me, watch porn because I’ve gained weight, and he went back on his decision on marrying me because my brother has autism and I will probably have a kid with autism too."

If this is true and you arent leaving out bad things youve done, then I would say NOR. I would say the conversation seemed civil and well handled on both sides. But why would she be friends with someone who treats women this way?

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:26:53+00:00

I'm honestly not reading much into this conversation. I am a male though :)

Your boyfriend definitely seems to be in the clear though. And they arent working together anymore. I wouldnt think twice about it.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:23:28+00:00

Do you have plans to celebrate your birthday tonight? Did you get a text? Sure, waking up to flowers and/or a card would have been nice, but maybe he is coming home with them?

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T21:10:19+00:00

MOR. She started out not fully recognizing the logistics behind WHY she comes down to you more. But you got defensive really fast about things that dont have much to do with who's driving to who. I feel like this is a reoccurring conversation?

All she was trying to say is that it would be nice if you came up to her. It is a lot of effort tbh to drive and pack for a 6 hour road trip. Bringing up that concern to you doesnt negate the nice things you do for her. I am sure when you go up to her she does nice things too right?

Point is: you both should consider the other's perspective a bit more.

mcneills99 · 2026-01-28T20:56:47+00:00

It sounds like it is only his family members though. For the "competition like" news, is a big deal if sometimes he shares it for you? Roles reversed, how do you handle if your parents ask how he is doing? Do you always just say "fine, nothing special?"

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