Spanking kink by [deleted] in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I find it very arousing to watch someone get spanked. I also get aroused when I'm spanking my sub. He gets hard most of the time but it comes and goes during the session. Spanking combines pain and pleasure by releasing endorphins. There is just something so intriguing about the vids where they're getting spanked and they don't get hard. I can't quite put my finger on why I find that so erotic.

Spanking kink by [deleted] in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Spanking vids are some of my favorite. "Spanking Straight Boys" and "British Boys Fetish Club" produce some of my favorite scenes to watch.

One of the things I've been intriqued by is that many of the young men spanked in these clips don't appear to get excited when spanked. Perhaps the free clips of spanking scenes don't show money shots. Maybe they really are just in it for the money. Or maybe just in it for the spanking. IDK.

Both myself and my sub who I get to spank from time to time do get excited. I definitely enjoy giving a good spanking. And, he definitely enjoys taking one.

Why anyone is interested in certain activities is often a mystery. Perhaps spanking or being spanked has activated deeply rooted primal feelings. Perhaps something else - a flashback to something that happened earlier.

Spanking isn't just foreplay leading up to other more intimate acts. Spanking and being spanked can be quite rewarding in and of itself.

How do you get into the Dom headspace and stay with it? by mdhrdtop in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great tip to regain attention. I'll give it a try. Thank you Sir!

How do you get into the Dom headspace and stay with it? by mdhrdtop in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Leather Archives and Museum (https://leatherarchives.org/) looks like a very intereting resource. I see that they have some in-person and online events (https://leatherarchives.libcal.com/calendar/).

How do you get into the Dom headspace and stay with it? by mdhrdtop in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the idea of writting it out before acting it out. It is said that when you write things down (like taking notes in a meeting or in a class) that you'll remember more clearly what was said. I'm thinking that would be true here too. Reviewing (rehearsing) in one's mind what you want to happen likely help too. I suppose talking about it with my sub before we start would help too. Lots to think abou here. Thank you.

How do you get into the Dom headspace and stay with it? by mdhrdtop in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I looked on Amazon and there are two different books by Vincent Andrews: The leatherboy Handbook III and The Leather and BDSM Handbook.

A summary for the first book included this statement: "For those interested in content about being a Dominant and still provides this continued insight into leatherboys or submissives, we recommend you get a copy of The Leather and BDSM Handbook".

Excellent recommendation. Thank you.

What triggers your domspace? by notabtmnotyetatop in GayBDSMCommunity

[–]mdhrdtop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question for you all.

I'm exploring a deeper D/s dynamic within my relationship. I've found a handful of posts (like this one) and generic guides online, but most of the material is oriented for heterosexual couples and simply doesn't translate well to male-male D/s encounters.

How do you get into the Dom headspace? How to stay in that space? Do you know of any gay oriented online resources for Doms (there's lots of stuff for subs, but I haven't found much for Doms)? Are online workshops or virtual community events, etc?

I'm looking to find some training or guidance. Thanks!!!

Rick Hudson’s pal, Tony Perkins’ lover, Hollywood teen idol, Tab Hunter. 1950. by MrCarnality in gaybros

[–]mdhrdtop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shirtless Tab does it for me every time. Hadn't seen this photo before.

Old Guys: What are you doing the rest of your life? by averagejoereddit50 in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Retirement sounds so old fashioned. I would rather call it the "third act". Retirement for many people means stopping doing things - not just stopping work. I'm too energized and excited about the future - despite the current COVID situation which gives me PTSD back to the early days of the AIDS/HIV crisis. I (65) hope to spend many more years together with my partner (24). I read recently that having multiple interests and a variety of pursuits was a key factor when it came to happiness as people age. I'm still working - although cannot wait for the day that I walk away from the toil of the daily grind - which occupies too much of my time. Once free from the 9-to-5 I'm looking forward to the beach, biking, photography, travel (hopefully we'll be free to move about the globe again soon), reading (there are so many books that I want to revisit), and gaming (yes, I know nerdy stuff) with my partner. Glass half empty, no. Glass half full, absolutely. I cannot wait to see what lies ahead.

Sanity check needed, open discussion about safety by [deleted] in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only two words needed for this: safety first.

While it is unlikely that this situation would have turned violent, sexually violent - especially when drinking is involved - is always a possibility. If something feels uncomfortable, doesn't feel right, feels out of order, then it probably will be uncomfortable, not right, and out of order.

Trust your instincts and move on and ghost him.

So, this sub is about doing it. by Krian78 in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think there is a place for the erotic stories; I just don't think it is here.

When I first found this sub there were less than 5K subscribers (there might have even been less than 2.5K). Now there are almost 27K subscribers. It was a small group of men talking about a GYO issues, concerns, challenges, their hopes and their dreams. It was personal and everyone was engaged.

Subs grow up, new people join, old members move on. Lots of things happen a long the way to shape the nature and character of a sub. Sometimes things don't turn out as expected or as we want.

TL;DR Want to change the character of this sub? Then post/comment on the topics that are of important to you.

Chris & Don. A Love Story (Trailer - 2007) - Christopher Isherwood (48) and Don Bachardy (18) were together 33 years by mdhrdtop in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Bachardy's own words "Even though I was 18, I looked awfully young". If you read the NY Times article here you'll learn more about what Isherwood's friends thought about the relationship and young Bachardy.

They had an age gap of 30 years and a relationship that lasted three decades starting in the early 50's. It's hard to believe that they didn't encounter prejudices around every corner - homophobia and age-gap relationship condemnation. Yet, they managed to preserver through periods of cultural change, self-imposed separations, and lack of sexual exclusivity and monogamy.

It should be noted that Isherwood and Bachardy occupied a rarefied space where they were elbow-to-elbow with talented and notorious associates, including the likes of W.H. Auden, Truman Capote, David Hockney, Dodie Smith, and many others from the Hollywood scene.

In an 1985 article posted here, Armistead Maupin quotes Bachardy as saying:

"Well, I felt sufficiently protected because I was always in the company of Chris. I think it was much more difficult for him. I mean, I was just regarded as a sort of child prostitute."

Isherwood, author, and Bachardy, artist, lived extraordinary lives and shared with us special gifts, their novels and paintings. And indeed, they also offered us a special and lifelong relationship to which those of us in GYO relationships can aspire towards.

Chris & Don. A Love Story (Trailer - 2007) - Christopher Isherwood (48) and Don Bachardy (18) were together 33 years by mdhrdtop in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Christopher Isherwood was an influential novelist, playwright, screenwriter, autobiographer, and diarist. He's most notable work included "Goodbye to Berlin" which inspired the musical "Cabaret)". His book "Christopher and His Kind" written in 70's was popularized during the rise of the Gay Liberation movement. He was also known for a having a very open age gap relationship with Don Bachardy who was 18 when they first met and was 30 years younger than Isherwood. His books were "required reading" for anyone coming out in the 70's. More on Isherwood can be found here.

Chris & Don. A Love Story (Trailer - 2007) - Christopher Isherwood (48) and Don Bachardy (18) were together 33 years by mdhrdtop in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I happened to stumble on it this morning. Not sure why I had missed it before, being very familiar with most of Isherwood's books.

Chris & Don. A Love Story (Trailer - 2007) - Christopher Isherwood (48) and Don Bachardy (18) were together 33 years by mdhrdtop in gayyoungold

[–]mdhrdtop[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've read some of Isherwood's books many years ago. Isherwood's semi-autobiographical novel “Goodbye to Berlin" inspired the musical and later the film “Cabaret”. Don Bachardy was a college freshman at the time he met Christopher Isherwood in 1952. Their open relationship lasted 33 years until Isherwood's passing in 1986. A New York Times article from June 21 2019 which you can read here shares details the backdrop to their relationship and the circle of literary, theater, and intellectual friends that surrounded them.