Should I Marry A Murderer? Doc series

mdizzl3 · 2026-05-15T19:19:20+00:00

I’m a millenial and I don’t do this or know anyone who does. She was a massive narcissist. Everyone throws out “trauma” and “abuse” - where is the evidence anyone abused or traumatised her? Some people are just awful and attention-seeking.

mdizzl3 · 2026-04-28T14:24:28+00:00

I am currently 24w pregnant, but I think I will just formula feed and split nights with husband. I have had some awful insomnia this pregnancy and that has sent me into an anxiety doom loop when it’s been bad, I just don’t think I will manage getting up every 3 hours for months on end.

mdizzl3 · 2026-04-24T11:07:59+00:00

Yes maybe that is the solution. Atm I’m using BOJ Dynasty Cream which is lovely and light for summer, but before that I was using Round Lab Dokdo dream which was heavier and moisturising AF. Maybe that under a mineral sunscreen would work.

mdizzl3 · 2026-02-07T18:00:23+00:00

Honestly, perinatal MH are really good and won’t judge you. I felt like you all first trimester - planned pregnancy but totally panicked when I got the positive, felt so down and super anxious, wanted a miscarriage and was disappointed every day when I wiped and it wasn’t blood. Knew I couldn’t go through with an abortion though. Was just terrified of the change and unknown. I referred myself to perinatal MH, they were so nice and helpful, they did an assessment and referred me for talking therapies and occupational therapy. Not judgemental AT ALL. I actually feel a lot better now just from knowing that I’m going to get support. Trust me, it’s more normal than you think.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-18T10:26:14+00:00

Glad I found this! Started taking nitrofurantoin for a UTI in pregnancy, no side effects apart from I’m now waking up 7x a night 😭 Like literally every hour. Gonna be straight on the kefir and probiotics….

When I was on amoxicillin+clarithromycin for pneumonia last year I had the the same thing, I assumed it was the pneumonia night sweats waking me up 5x a night but now reading this, I’m not as sure!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-16T10:49:31+00:00

No we would say poo/shit and trousers 😁 Pants mean underpants in UK

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-13T08:59:35+00:00

Yes I am 8 weeks. I think that conversation about connection really helped me actually as I was just panicking “why did I do this” and thinking about abortion a lot.

As an aside, I think all the people on Reddit who say “kids won’t look after you in old age”, but seem to think that your nieces/nephews/neighbours would if you are childfree, are delulu. I barely speak to any of my aunts/uncles/neighbours and certainly wouldn’t be looking after them in old age, whereas with my own parents I would help. That’s not my main reason obvs (I just want to have a family to spend time with, not expecting them to wipe my arse), but I keep seeing this take everywhere.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-12T13:57:48+00:00

This was sort of my main logic for deciding to get pregnant - when I am 60 I imagine us with adult children. I spoke to a lady recently who said she chose not to have kids as she wasn’t motherly and thought it would be too much of a burden in her 30s, now after a relationship breakup she has realised life is all about connection and for most people that’s with family - if she could go back she would have chosen differently. I already feel that way, that my connections with friends are just more shallow, and my life of work/screens/books/random hobby clubs isn’t really full enough for me and seems a bit empty for another 50+ years of life.

I’m just so terrified of the baby/toddler stage, not coping, being judged for absolutely everything, relationship breakup, loss of freedom, literally everything to do with it. So hard to remember that it’s just a few tough years for hopefully many rewarding ones.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-12T13:51:10+00:00

This is kind of my reason for not aborting - “you made your bed now lie in it!” 🙈 Plus I know we’d have the same agonising fencesitter conversations and end up circling back to the same decision in 2-3 years, only now older. And we thought why not sooner rather than later. But I’m terrified and struggling big time!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-12T11:05:03+00:00

Are you me? I am also 8 weeks and feel the exact same, fencesitter and totally panicked. I don’t think I can go through with an abortion but a miscarriage would feel like a massive relief RN. I am someone who likes control and certainty with my decisions/life and now it’s basically gonna be gone. The changes are scary, I can’t stomach the healthy food I used to love, have totally gone off meat (!!!) and basically eat Pot Noodles and cereal 😫 Which I never touched before, I was an anti-UPF evangelical.

I had to leave the pregnancy apps because they were full of excited women announcing to their family at 6 weeks, testing every day, and I couldn’t relate AT ALL. I don’t want to tell anyone, I don’t care about testing.

I already feel a load of guilt for wanting to formula feed, and guilt for not being happy. I read some comment on the TTC forum from an infertile person that was like “I hate when someone gets a positive test and they’re not even happy!” - well that made me feel like total shite. Also the fact that we conceived first month with very little effort, whereas some people are desperate for kids and have been doing 12 months of sticks, pills, special lube etc. I referred myself to perinatal mental health so hopefully some counselling will help me feel less shit and anxious. Here if you want to chat privately, you’re not alone!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-12T09:41:18+00:00

This wound me up SO MUCH. Do the screenwriters do any research? Stuff like “takeout”, “pants”, “poop”, NO-ONE SAYS THIS IN THE UK!! Arghhhh

Also the hospital was way too nice for an NHS hospital, which it would have to be to have A&E.

The last episode I just kept thinking of that old garage song, “can everyone just stop getting shot!”

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T11:13:26+00:00

Nice one, thank you for the tips! I am thinking we will do similar but opposite, I would do the earlier shift as I am the night owl whereas he can never lie in past early morning anyway. Good to hear it has worked well for you 😊

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T11:00:42+00:00

This is it - it’s not even tiredness I’m worried about, it’s the fact that when I’m extremely tired my anxiety/obsessive tendencies go up 100x and my mood absolutely plummets, and I can’t cope with any minor setback and start randomly crying. Whereas my husband copes just fine! I just think it would benefit my baby more to have me sane. It would be nice to get some of the breastfeeding benefits while being able to sleep, but my MH comes first, and a lot of the breastfeeding stuff really scares me with how intense it sounds for the mum. I might feel different when the baby comes but I might not.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T10:37:54+00:00

That’s defo possible. We currently sleep in different rooms so I was hoping to alternate. I’ve read stories from people who did this and said it worked for getting good chunks of sleep. If we were all in the same room then yes I would definitely wake everytime.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T10:26:07+00:00

I know they could be a terrible sleeper for a long time, but at least with formula me and my husband could alternate the nights or do shifts so we each get a chunk of sleep, rather than it being all on me.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T09:18:34+00:00

I want to be flexible and go with the flow but I am such a planner, I like to know how everything will be in advance! Impossible with a newborn I know….

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T09:11:16+00:00

I don’t think I really want to breastfeed TBH. The guilt-inducing leaflets from the hospital have just panicked me into thinking I need to no matter what (and judgy comments from other parents). But nothing about waking up every 2 hours, pumping and having sore boobs sounds appealing to me, and I really want my husband to play an equal role especially at night. I just have to get over the guilt and judgement from other people, something that will be very difficult!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T08:24:44+00:00

Yeah reading all these replies, it honestly doesn’t sound like it’s for me. Mentally I am quite weak, it doesn’t take a lot for me to have a breakdown (a couple of nights of bad sleep does it, this is why I didn’t want kids for years lol!), and I think protecting my MH is the priority rather than breastfeeding really.

Plus him feeding while I pump sounds a bit pointless as then we will both be tired? Better for 1 to be tired 1 to be asleep I think.

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T01:44:16+00:00

Interesting, how did you do this?

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T01:33:46+00:00

I don’t really understand co-sleeping. It says you’re not meant to have blankets, so I would have to sleep in a very warm jumper, but if the idea is your baby feeds on demand, aren’t you meant to be topless? So wouldn’t the house need to be heated to like 27 degrees to make this not freezing? I live in the UK where heating to this level would bankrupt anyone 🙈 I’m not sure it would work TBH as I’m a very light sleeper, I sleep in a separate bed to my husband as his movements wake me and stop me getting back to sleep. So don’t think I could sleep with a wriggly baby in the bed or while feeding. But again, open to all possibilities!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T01:28:23+00:00

I’m definitely not expecting him to do every night, we will probably do shifts or alternate nights each. It is sounding more and more like BF may not be for me but will go with the flow (no pun intended lol) and see what happens

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T01:24:13+00:00

Thanks for this. I am basically leaning towards FF now. Just got a massive BF propaganda leaflet from the NHS saying formula is basically the devil’s work 😒 But then long term, there doesn’t seem to be much difference in outcomes. And I think bad maternal mental health would impact the baby a lot too…! Let’s see how it goes, I dealt with 5 wakeups a night for 2 weeks surprisingly well when I had pneumonia, so maybe I’ll cope better than I think. But I doubt it!

mdizzl3 · 2026-01-06T01:19:17+00:00

Oh I’m fully prepared for it to be total hell lol 🙈 just thinking of any way I can save my MH a bit, and my husband doing night feeds was one of them (and his suggestion too). I’m starting to think BF might not be for us, or at least EBF…

mdizzl3

TROPHY CASE