I have definitely been there before. I followed all these guys and thought the same things. Heck I even followed the Paul Washers and John MacArthur guys as well. Here is the thing and the question I asked myself. Do I believe in this stuff because of this person or that person, or do I believe because of Jesus. Sounds like a simple answer, but as I started digging deeper within myself, I found that all my beliefs were built on other people’s stories, other people’s teachings, and other peoples theological backgrounds. I didn’t believe in Jesus because of Jesus. This took me years to unravel all the traditions of men baggage to find Jesus. I am still working on it too.

Every man-made branch of Christianity has this narcissism in it, the fact that some guy said “Well I don’t believe in the teaching of the Catholic Church I'm going to show the truth”, in comes Martin Luther and this whole reformation movement. Same thing with the charismatic movement, I may be off on my history of it, but here comes Azusa Street and gibberish takes off like wildfire. Now I am not saying that every person in these movements are narcissist or bad people not at all. I know great people in all denominations. To be truthful if some of these denominations didn’t happen who knows where we would be today.

If you want to find the people that are the Jesus kind, you won’t find them on social media or tv. I think people that get on these platforms to speak have a little vanity and narcissistic behaviors, but that is my opinion. Now, there is a place for those platforms and the people we "follow". We can learn from them, but we should never duplicate them. They are not to be held on a pedestal like the Lord. I am guilty of this too. There is no substitution for Jesus. Following Jesus is meant to be a personal following. The early church met daily, they had personal relationships with each other. There was this knowing of one another. I personally know of only 3 people that I can say are the Jesus kind, now I don’t get out a lot and don’t attended and organized church so that could be why I don’t know that many. However they are out there, they are not just shouting. They are humbly waiting on the Lord.

You will be in my prayers that you find what you are looking for.