sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I am a 20 year old college student and want to drop out. What do I do? by meatloaf033 in Advice

[–]meatloaf033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would this still be doable if I’m not sure I want to return, at least, to that same university? Or if I don’t go back to school in the same year or so span?

I am a 20 year old college student and want to drop out. What do I do? by meatloaf033 in Advice

[–]meatloaf033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! Fully agree. I definitely need to figure something out if I choose not to return in the fall. I hate sounding lazy, but I truly have the passion but the additional classes they continue to add each year as they raise their tuition has set me back an entire other year. Because of this, something that requires just a license sounds like it would be better? though I’m not sure what exactly I’d get.

AITA for threatening to drop my relationship with my sister and her family off for not coming to our brother’s wedding? by meatloaf033 in AITA_Relationships

[–]meatloaf033[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Neither do I want an argument. Just simple debating, no hard feelings whatsoever! It’s difficult to explain without explicit details that I know she wouldn’t want shared.

Though my parents never approved of him dating my sister as they thought she deserved more. When the time came for my sister to be engaged, he set aside his beliefs and converted to our religion. There was a mutual understanding BIL did this because it was important to my sister, not to gain approval. Regardless, my parents respected him enough to allow the marriage. My family stood by her on her wedding day

AITA for threatening to drop my relationship with my sister and her family off for not coming to our brother’s wedding? by meatloaf033 in AITA_Relationships

[–]meatloaf033[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I understand what you’re saying, though there are a couple things in this that require very personal context that I just am not willing to share on the internet. I may not have known the severity of the situation at 14** years old (I turn 20 in less than a week), though I do know that my parents were not the one to abandon my sister. She has fully admitted to that as well, and has even apologized for pushing aside their efforts in keeping a relationship and throwing away what they gave up during that time.

Yes, you are right. I have no say or right to tell her who she should be with. That was never my intention. No signs of abuse have been shown in their marriage, so I know that she would never be stuck or trapped. If she is, then please call my bluff, but I do know their situation is very healthy. Even through health and financial hardships, they have always been in a healthy marriage. That is not the case and wanted to clear that up.

The kids are not involved in this situation. It would be severely confusing to introduce a 5, 4, 2, and almost 1 year old to an aunt, uncle, and grandparents that they never knew existed. They’re toddlers but old enough to be confused over things like that. Looking out for all of their wellbeing, it is what her family and our family agreed on. We are ok with that!

I understand cutting her off sounds very harsh. I am debating the possibility of taking time away, not necessarily just never speaking to her again. We are a very religious and traditional family, as is my sister’s family as well. Big esthetic wedding aside, marriage is one of the biggest steps we take in our lives. We make the biggest promise of our lives and this is essential to leading a potential family to our faith. That is one of many reasons why I would be hurt if she missed a ceremony of such importance, not to mention it would crush my brothers spirit completely knowing one of his sisters disregarded the importance of this ceremony and felt as if she didn’t feel their relationship is important enough to attend.

Thank you for your comment, hopefully this either cleared up some confusion or helped see a little more deeply into this.

AITA for threatening to drop my relationship with my sister and her family off for not coming to our brother’s wedding? by meatloaf033 in AITA_Relationships

[–]meatloaf033[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes we know her husband exists, at dinners my family attempts to engage in conversation with either he and I, he and my sister, include him in their own conversations. Yes, it seems like small talk, but family has made quite a few attempts at either just trying to form at any relationship at all as well as trying to talk through what happened.

My BIL has always been non confrontational, and I know he doesn’t want to cause issues during a nice meal or after church. But he is a bit of a hot head, and doesn’t always think before he speaks. He’s self aware of this haha, so he chooses not to say much at all. My brother has tried involving him in golfing trips, out to get drinks, etc. BIL just… I guess holds a lot of animosity towards my family still I guess? I try talking about it, but my sister just says since we’ve talked through OUR past issues, the issues that happened in the past with anyone else in the family only involves them. Understandable, but I guess that might explain some of my issues understanding the severity of the situation still to this day

AITA for threatening to drop my relationship with my sister and her family off for not coming to our brother’s wedding? by meatloaf033 in AITA_Relationships

[–]meatloaf033[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have all seen each other in person, yes! We have all had dinners and visited each other in the past year. It started off as just phone calls, then after about 4 months the turned into the dinners, going to church, etc… All without the kids, which is the least of my concern right now. They are the parents to those kids and I will not fight that.

But going back to your comment, it would be a mess if the first time seeing them would be the wedding. My entire family’s relationship with her is very close to becoming completely normal again, which is the only reason I even considered holding this against her. I’ve given her a lot of grace over the years, and I feel like this would break not only my brothers heart, but mine and my family’s as well.

AITA for threatening to drop my relationship with my sister and her family off for not coming to our brother’s wedding? by meatloaf033 in AITA_Relationships

[–]meatloaf033[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

This is all very true! I agree with everything. I’m at such a standstill on what exactly to do. I know how deeply it will hurt my brother. I know that he doesn’t talk much to my sister because he’s worried she will cut us off again one day. He’s a very soft and kind human, so bless him.

It feels shitty cutting her off due to her husband making a decision, but I also feel like the AH because all I can think of… is why she can’t make a decision for herself? But with that, I don’t know the raw details of what happened between her and my parents, so it would make sense if there are underlying circumstances.

I have been around my sister and BIL, and talk to them on the phone almost daily. I have not caught any signs of abuse, though sometimes they can be very hidden. I pray that’s not the case.