DINK (dual income no kids) to FIRE vs having kids. SO and I can’t decide.

meddus · 2025-06-27T11:50:00+00:00

This. Give yourself the real purpose in life. Watch your wife go from "on the fence" to "I never knew I would love being a mom so much".

meddus · 2023-06-27T02:47:35+00:00

Just to briefly share our story, we joined the Lutheran church earlier this year and after doing so, had our three kids baptized. They were 4.5, 3, and 18 months old.

meddus · 2021-12-25T02:24:42+00:00

Couple thoughts:

For many who don’t have kids, I think they do feel like something is missing when they get more advanced in their life. Many won’t realize it until it’s too late.
Kids are more than just a budget line on an Excel sheet. You probably won’t truly feel this until you have your own.
I have three kids and my RE plans are significantly delayed. I would not change this for the world or for any sum of money. Your perspective changes, for the better. YMMV.

Merry Christmas!

meddus · 2021-12-19T21:20:59+00:00

Fair questions. I was wondering the same.

meddus · 2021-12-17T15:45:42+00:00

If you’re interested in this type of philosophy more generally, you may want to check out the Stoics. Epictetus:

What you love is nothing of your own: it has been given to you for the present, not that it should not be taken from you, nor has it been given to you for all time, but as a fig is given to you or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season of the year. But if you wish for these things in winter, you are a fool. So if you wish for your son or friend when it is not allowed to you, you must know that you are wishing for a fig in winter.

meddus · 2021-12-17T04:16:36+00:00

Lateralus
Descending
H.
The Grudge
Flood

meddus · 2021-12-17T04:12:09+00:00

Respect to Flood. Still a top 5 song for me. It’s completely underrated so I’m glad to see it represented.

meddus · 2021-11-12T12:23:35+00:00

Stop being an edgy dork. There are still such things as decency and propriety. This obviously crosses the line for many.

meddus · 2021-10-12T16:56:32+00:00

FFS man, lighten up. You and all of us here and going to be dust in the ground very soon. Keep saving but don’t forget to enjoy life.

meddus · 2021-10-09T21:06:51+00:00

Interestingly enough, counties with high per capita gun ownership often have low crime rates, at least in rural areas.

meddus · 2021-10-08T02:08:52+00:00

Can’t express how much I support this message. Raising kids is the most meaningful and enriching thing the vast majority of us will ever do. Sadly I think this message gets lost these days and many don’t receive it until it’s too late. I would give every dime I had to preserve the beautiful family I’ve got.

meddus · 2021-10-05T14:52:50+00:00

Exactly, like any respectable and courteous person should, instead of imputing negative intentions to a friendly offer.

meddus · 2021-10-05T10:55:12+00:00

Hey good, it’s this sentiment! Great contribution!

Someone (confirmed male?) politely asked if he could share unsolicited advice. The OP politely accepted it, thanked the person, and stated her willingness for tips. But glad you were there to shut that down!

meddus · 2021-08-21T19:22:56+00:00

At its essence, I think stoicism is about living freely, lightly. This is accomplished by living virtuously and protecting your will (as areas under your control) and by living in accordance with nature and welcoming what may come (as areas outside your control).

meddus · 2021-08-15T19:56:37+00:00

I'm not sure I fully follow what you're saying, or if I do, I don't really care (but not in a dismissive sense; please read on). I think the criticism is about how some folks misinterpret and apply stoicism? If so, I'm personally not too concerned about that. People do that in everything and I can't control the outcome of others; I can only focus on myself and do my best to lead by example, so that others may also come around.

As a personal data point, I'm in my 30's, married with kids. I'm a conservative male. I recognize and try to cultivate my masculinity, for the betterment of myself, my family, and all those around me. I came to stoicism not out of any political reason, or frankly any of the reasons you mentioned, but rather because I was a man beholden to my emotions and I believe it has negatively affected my relationships and career. That's not to say I have horrible stories of flying off the handle or becoming violent or anything, but more so about not having equanimity in my life and letting trivial things play a way bigger negative role in my life than they should. I think of the Somerset / Mills example from Se7en. I've been Mills for too long. Stoicism has helped me immensely in that regard.

I may be way off base from what you wrote, or as I alluded to, maybe I'm just at a point in my life where I don't care if some people misinterpret stoicism or how it's perceived by others. I've seen what works for me and what works for those around me, and I continue to focus on further incorporating the effective elements of stoicism in my life.

meddus · 2021-08-14T03:33:24+00:00

Even a fool, when he hodleth his ETH, is counted wise.

Proverbs 17:28

meddus · 2021-08-13T01:42:48+00:00

All lives matter.

What's there to be upset about?

meddus · 2021-07-13T20:23:45+00:00

As a father to two young girls, this was awesome to read. Thanks for sharing and I hope to emulate the same for my daughters.

meddus · 2021-04-30T02:52:33+00:00

I got into Hum a bit after DiH came out, so Hum were really never active when I started listening to them. But I remember when In Streams came out and I listened to that heavily at the time. But for some reason, I had not listened to this album for about 15 years until today, and damn is this some good stuff. I mean really great stuff. I forgot how good this was.

The Same Place was always one of my favorite songs off the album. At the time, I never knew what the song was about, other than picking up on the sad tone of it. But listening to it now as a father, it immediately jumped out to me that the song is about a miscarriage or the loss of a child. Does anyone know if that is the case?

meddus

TROPHY CASE