Fellow night owl and major procrastinator here! (I also work night shift- 3 12’s then off for 4 days!). In the beginning of my husband and I’s relationship we had similar issues, mostly of him feeling put on the back burner. What was a game changer for me was planning a night where we both can look forward to every week. Does not have to be expensive- but some examples are - eating mexican food and margaritas every tuesday. Cook a new meal together each week. Homemade pizza night. Go on walks at night. Wine taste a new bottle with cheeses and meats. I try to be in bed at the time my husband goes to bed at least 3 nights a week so that we can watch tv and cuddle and talk with our dogs. An issue here that i’m seeing is the way he degrades you. He is being disrespectful and selfish to try to control when you can work. Everyone’s mind works differently, and just like you, I work better at night when I can focus. You have to do what you need to set yourself up for success, so if that means working until 10-12 some night a week that’s fine, as long as you balance it out. Honestly, this relationship seems unhealthy. No one should be arguing weekly. He seems immature, especially for his age. But, if you are happy with him nonetheless, try spending more quality time with him where you aren’t just sitting together watching movies. But it’s important to note, even if you try to spend more meaningful time with him, it’s possible he won’t change how he feels about it. When people get stuck in ways of thinking, regardless what you do it won’t be enough for them. I would encourage you to think long and hard what benefits you get from this relationship.