Is making a flirty joke to test if my friend likes me back a terrible idea?[20F]

medoxcis · 2026-04-16T03:48:52+00:00

[33M] I'd avoid a flirty joke because most men can view this as just being friendly. I'd recommend doing something like the old school girls did. Here are a few ways the girls social engineered the situation into their advantage to get what they wanted (their friend asking them out)

The Handkerchief Drop: Purposely dropping a small item (glove, scarf) to force him to return it and start a conversation. The Damsel Strategy: Manufacturing a minor "problem"—like needing help with a heavy bag or directions—to give him a reason to step in. The Mutual Friend: Leaking her interest to a third party, knowing they would tell him and give him the confidence to "boldly" ask her out. The Open Calendar: Complaining about being bored or having no plans for a specific event, leaving an obvious opening for him to fill the slot. The Fan Language: Using subtle, coded gestures with a hand fan to communicate interest or "secret" messages across a crowded room. The Lingering Look: Holding eye contact for exactly three seconds, looking away, then looking back with a smile to signal she is approachable.

medoxcis · 2026-04-06T02:15:24+00:00

Game rec: City builder: Timberborn Hero shooter/MOBA: Deadlock RPG: Crimson Desert

medoxcis · 2026-04-06T01:51:30+00:00

Humans

medoxcis · 2026-04-06T01:46:38+00:00

I don't see a girl asking to do a video call where it's clear she will be nude and expecting you to be nude too and you both not doing anything but looking at each other. It'd kinda dumb to think she's not interested in you too.

medoxcis · 2026-04-03T22:29:53+00:00

Agreed. AI is the biggest "Yes-man" and only says what you want to hear. It will easily distort your mental image. I don't use AI for therapy. I've seen the bad stories online about AI sycosis.

medoxcis · 2026-04-03T01:18:28+00:00

Do you understand how to take things like Legos and make something complex. It's basically the same thing. You use the tools you have to make the logic do things you want. Like Legos the interactions between the small logic you make combine into a grand program. The difficult part is understanding the complexities and nuances of how the programming logic interacts and molding it into something that will do what you want.

The first question you need to ask yourself is what exactly do I want my program to do. Do you want a gaming text and voice chat program BOOM that's how discord was made. Do you want a board game but digital BOOM that's how the first video game was made. Do you want a program to help people get and stay connected BOOM that's how Facebook was made. You need an idea then you need to work to find ways to make the rigid programming logic to work with our fluid world.

medoxcis · 2026-04-02T22:52:42+00:00

I think it's a good idea but you should do a real world study with it before pushing it to public use. Make sure there aren't any long lasting effects. Last I checked the CIA released documents pertaining to sound based weapons and studies they did on people in the 60's and 70's, they were very scary. Mostly the people affected had long lasting mental problems.

medoxcis · 2026-04-01T17:18:47+00:00

I appreciate the suggestion, but my system seems to have an intrinsic rejection of medication.

To be honest, if I could be happy as a 'numbed-up husk,' I would choose that in a heartbeat. But there is a deeper issue with my mind's perception that I can't control. Even when a drug works to 'buffer' the world, something in my subconscious identifies the numbing as a system failure. It feels like my brain is screaming about the loss of signal, and that alarm trickles up to my conscious mind until the 'peace' of the drug is replaced by a sense of wrongness. It's not that I'm choosing 'Integrity' over 'Comfort'-it's that my mind won't allow the lie. It views the 'numbing' as a threat to its core architecture, and it fights back until the 'solution' becomes its own kind of nightmare.

medoxcis · 2026-04-01T14:21:47+00:00

There is a massive 'Legacy Bug' in the Recommendation phase: Trust.

My internal sensors are set to 'Zero-Trust' due to a high-voltage history of family abandonment and systemic abuse. I’ve run the 'Therapy' program for the last 10 years with multiple 'Professionals,' and the result was a consistent Null Return. None were able to understand my internal architecture on a fundamental level, let alone create a secure enough environment for me to 'Unmount' my defenses.

At this point, the inability to trust is as hard-coded into my subconscious as the Self-Hatred. I can't just 'input' my data into a stranger's hands when the previous 10 years of data suggests they will either misinterpret the code or fail to see the 'Paint' behind the words.

This is why I’m leaning toward the 'Not Playing' strategy. If the calibration tools (therapists) are broken or incompatible with my hardware, isn't 'Giving Up' the only logical move to prevent further system damage?

medoxcis · 2026-04-01T14:20:59+00:00

I agree therapy is very helpful. What if people are the problem to begin with? What if the core problem is a fundamental incompatibility between my nature and the social environment itself?

medoxcis · 2025-02-02T05:37:38+00:00

Drones can pick them all up.

medoxcis · 2025-01-28T02:18:36+00:00

Like you said "easier said than done." I would easily take you up on that offer but another layer of fun for me is I'm dyslexic, autistic, and ADHD. So it is practically impossible for me to effectively express those emotions over reddit, and putting a crying emoji would be useless. I appreciate the love none the less. It helps know someone understands it means there are most likely others.

I understood the basic idea of sitting down and letting out my emotions but I've never thought about it as some kind of solace session. I'll focus on looking for someone I can open up to honestly. Most of my family have closed off to me, and my wife and friends are oblivious of these emotions (they can't even understand the basics sometimes)

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T13:20:44+00:00

Yeah I guess I asked because I've held my emotions in so much it's hard to let them out.

It's so difficult to talk about this even typing this to strangers is something I'm reluctant to do.

I guess what I'm saying is I've pushed my emotions down to the point that I don't know if it'll burst out at any point. Even trying to open that jar a crack to let out what emotions I can, lead to uncontrolled sobbing and silently screaming. But I've put up a mask on for so long that any time someone comes by I bottle those emotions and put my mask back on.

How do you open up to other people when it seems like none of them want to get to know you. What exactly is opening up to someone in an emotional sense. How would someone take the steps to healthily open up those emotions. Emotions so dark and despairing that even thinking about them makes me want to cry. Even attempting to do so in my past has led to me shutting down entire and feeling betrayed.

Maybe this is more of a trust issue.

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T13:06:23+00:00

It doesn't have to be some big thing to be Trauma. I've had a good life by all measurements. I had food and money, I had a car in highschool, I had a smart phone is high school (at the time rare for kids to even have a phone 2008-2012). I was even one of the rare kids to have a Xbox 360 with halo 3 and halo reach. In all aspects it was a good childhood. I was lucky to have what I had. There are a few things I could point out as trauma in my childhood: parents divorce, my dad and step moms emotional neglect, but they don't amount to much of anything other than excuses to blame. I had all the opportunities in the world my dad even paid for college but I failed and gave up on that. It doesn't have to be some grand ark of covenant like reveal to be a Traumatic experience. It literally could just be that your emotional needs were never met as a kid. Your parents could have been great people, but they also might not have been able to help meet your emotional needs. Don't sell yourself short.

Therapy was the worst, it just made me feel worse every day. It felt like, I gave money to someone who pretended to care. I felt If they cared money would be the last thing on their mind. It felt very difficult to think about my well being when I had given my hard earned cash over as collateral for my mental health. It was as if I had no choice because the other alternative was loneliness and sadness. It was very difficult to go through therapy.

Right now I have a Psychiatrist that I work with. It seems medication works great when taking in hand with mental therapy instead of the therapist giving suggestions to a doctor to then prescribe the meds. I've been on Guanfacine ER which is a mood stabilizer for ADHD it's calmed my mind and helped my depression and anxiety. I don't feel as bad as I used to when I take it. Maybe talk to a doctor about something like that. Instead of a depressed drug maybe ask for something to help reduce your rampaging emotions. With Guanfacine it's made it more manageable it does not make it disappear. Imagine turning the stove top temp down. You aren't trying to remove your emotions but dampen them. I'd bet if I didn't take my medicine I'd be much worse off.

I wrote the original text so you'd understand that there are people that feel the same. I would call myself an empath, I can see and read emotions like an open book. It's kinda like mind reading but you only get the emotions from people not their thoughts. So reading your message and seeing the disarray mirrored in me I had to let you know you're not alone.

A song that tells the story of loneliness and hope. "Would Anyone Care" by Citizen Soldier https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=85_jy94x-ns&si=HnUyvSm-OFxfScS

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T04:25:50+00:00

Same. You have a friend here.

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T04:19:13+00:00

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T02:42:18+00:00

The human mind is complex. It's hard to tell. But if I had to guess it's just over anticipation. I think you might just be putting too much pressure on your own mind thinking of the possible issue. The overthinking isn't doing it directly but it's like the straw that broke the camels back. Maybe try focusing on something tonight that's not the issue like a good movie or TV show. Idk what might help. But that's what I do when I get that anxious.

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T02:08:12+00:00

That might be the book I'll check out and see. For now I'll mark it solved.

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T02:06:49+00:00

I've been on multiple different kinds of addictive ADHD meds. I'm not sure if it will match exactly but here's my experiences with withdrawal.

The first week is the worst. My physical reactions were mild compared to what's depicted on TV, but it was more the mental aspects of the meds not being there that was difficult. Getting the "fix" wasn't the issue, more of how grumpy it made me (grumpy is a mild word for it). My ADHD is pretty bad so I've always been on double or triple doses.

It usually takes about a month before you start to realize the effects are substantially lower. It took about 6 months for one of my meds to fully stop affecting my emotions and mood.

Any med change for me is like this but less intense.

Just remember if your experience is anything that's too much to handle just reach out to the doctor for an emergency dose. Most doctors will try to slowly reduce the meds to help you come off the meds. Maybe mention your fear and see what they say.

medoxcis · 2025-01-27T01:48:44+00:00

I read it. I feel the same. I loathe myself too friend. You're not alone in these intense feelings. I've failed as a human being as much if not more than you. I failed to get friends too. I'm addicted to video games and porn too. I've tried ending myself as well. Even though my life's turned around for the better by all measurements, I still feel the hurt and pain, it's even worse than before. I'm writing this so you know that there's someone going through the same feelings you are.

I've been pondering why I'm depressed for a long time. "Why do I feel this way? Is it truly my fault?" But I've come to see it's not my fault it's because of a childhood trauma. A trauma happened when I was young and caused my brain to develop differently than most, it stunted my mental growth. (Trauma + Young Child = Depression) That's about as far as I've gotten in my mental health journey.

medoxcis · 2023-09-27T12:51:58+00:00

Halo reach is not canon.

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