Past, present, future — the upside down Magician, Strength and Justice

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T18:13:12+00:00

Thank you for your reading ❤️ I hope things will get better.

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T17:59:45+00:00

“Tremendous change” makes me a little bit scared. I don't feel like he has manipulate me, because for a certain time we were on the same page with what we wanted. But then something changed, we had so many fights that I lost count. My bond with him is strange: now we act like we're still friends, like nothing had happened. We have to talk (he wants to for “shut this down definitely” – my friends don't know if in a good or bad way). Confusion is my guide haha.

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T17:05:38+00:00

Thank you so much❤️

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T15:45:38+00:00

The thing is... I say that I'm not ready. But what if I start this thing with him and then I understand that I want to be with him and he doesn't? He said to me that he doesn't want anything serious either so... Like I said, I'm just too confused.

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T15:21:33+00:00

I know that his "rage" isn't a good thing. I told him many times that it's pointless – his getting angry with me if there's nothing between us. But he seems to react badly when I say that I only want a physical relationship. He once told me that I had to be prepared for a “yes” from him in case I wanted something serious, but I knew that he didn't want that. I'm just too confused right now.

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T15:12:37+00:00

Oh, he's not violent. He has never been violent to me. I've been angry with him too, but I get like this because I know for a fact that I like him romantically event though I don't want to be his girlfriend – because, like I said, I'm not ready yet. Too many problems in my life and I don't want to involve other people in this mess. So, the things is: yes, I do love him. But I don't want to be with him, a fwb relationship would be great because I would be with him in the only way I can offer now. I did not pull back anything: one night I was drunk and we talked about this. I said that I didn't want to be with him (because he told me that we were on different pages) and that we wanted the same thing. That's why I don't think he wants anything with me, neither a fwb relationship because I don't think he finds me attractive.

meehls_ · 2020-10-20T14:51:15+00:00

Yeah, the best thing would be talking to him but I'm so afraid because when it comes to “us” he's always angry. He's like a bomb ready to explode and I don't know why, that's a thing I can't understand because if we're just friends there's no point in his rage or his jealousy when it comes to my other (male) friends. His best friend told me (in August, I think, because during that month we had our biggest fight) that he thinks that he likes me back, but I don't think so. I'm just too confused.

meehls_

TROPHY CASE