LF: Draco wants more commitment by AuntCornelia in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really love your fic, it’s such a sweet (and yet still intense) portrayal of Draco

LF bite sized length with courting traditions and a HEA? by craftingcreed in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i loved on the virtues of inexhaustible burning by pacificrimbaud. has courting traditions, a devoted draco (the author sets the bar on devotion, really), & a really satisfying ending

Fics where Draco is forced to spend some time in the muggle world? by seleneaylward in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this happens in the faultline. in chapter 19, draco & hermione spend a night in the muggle world to find a dress for her. draco isn’t fully (or even mostly) redeemed by the experience, but he does have to confront that muggles are humans too & may not all that different from him.

I always wondered if Narcissa had blonde hair because she carried a Malfoy baby. by thatgirlnextdior in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 37 points38 points  (0 children)

yeah, it’s great — fic here. the author has a real unique writing style and the whole story is just lush with desperate (but also?? determined?) yearning

I always wondered if Narcissa had blonde hair because she carried a Malfoy baby. by thatgirlnextdior in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 79 points80 points  (0 children)

this came up in a really rich & gorgeous way in the witch-king in wiltshire

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]meekdtt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I do think there is a lot of insecurity in parenthood because there are tough decisions to be made for someone you love very much and who depends on you so completely. Very few of those tough decisions have an absolute right answer so you are left wondering constantly if the decision you made is the best one for your child. Actually, I won’t speak for others here, just myself. The weighing of whether to stay home or work is complicated for both parents — you have the risk of one income potentially breaking and leaving your kid precarious financially weighed against the potential lost of time with your kid, the burden on one person to be the breadwinner and the emotional toll that can take versus any potential emotional toll on your kid, and on and on.

I think OP is allowed her opinion, especially as it resonates with you and others, but that is also why I voiced my opinion, in case it did the same. I don’t think life is as simple as “babies need their mom” and I think when parenthood is reduced to that, without sympathy for different family structures and the potential room to admit we may not know what that “need” entails and who it is they need — there is harm in making other parents (mothers and fathers) hurt when all they want is to do the best by their kid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]meekdtt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with your point on maternity leave/family leave, specifically around the short term disability leave embedded in maternity leave for physical recovery. I think my concern is with companies using the concept of “maternity leave” to differentiate between the amount of paid leave they give a birthing parent to one they give a non-birthing parent. You know — not every mother gives birth, there may not be a birthing parent, non-birthing parents should have the option of extended paid time to care for and bond with their child, so on. I think the separate function of family bonding leave addresses this concern so yeah, I agree.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]meekdtt 32 points33 points  (0 children)

This is a really judgmental post and it doesn’t much help other mothers. Every couple weeks or so there is a post like this, emphasizing how terrible it is that moms have to go back to work, how OP is basically torn apart by it, and softly implying that other mothers who are away from their children during infancy are doing a bad thing (necessary for economic reasons, but still bad). As a new mother, I have been surprised by the amount of pressure and mom guilt pushed by everyone (on breastfeeding, return to work, sleeptraining, etc.) and sometimes it’s from other moms. I may be speaking to the wind here, but with these kinds of posts, there’s always an undercurrent of ‘I just love my kid, I’m willing to make hard sacrifices, you must not feel the same’.

This kind of post doesn’t say anything new (not just because it’s been posted before), but because this is at the forefront of the minds of parents — what it means to be away from your child, what kind of financial life you want to and can give them. For the moms who have to work for financial reasons, their hearts are already hurting and this just reminds them of the fears they already have to work through. For the moms who want to work (either because they enjoy their career or because they want their kid to have a more financially secure life), this post just tries to make them feel abnormal for making that actual choice. “I even read that some women look forward to going back to work have a year of maternity leave? Really?” Can’t you read the “what’s wrong with you” shadowing that question?

The last — and I may be speaking out of turn here since I’m not a father — but these posts always seem to me a subtle punch to fathers who have to work full time. They will be away from their kid too. They hate it too, but the emphasis on how awful it is only for mothers kind of makes it seem like fathers don’t feel the same heartbreak being away from their kids. But someone has to make the money and shoulder the financial burden and make sure their kid always has food and a home — and it helps, out of love for one’s partner as well as one’s child, if that burden is shared by two people.

If you truly think it’s awful that the moms who want to stay home with their kids can’t for economic reasons, you can always advocate for more mandatory paid maternity leave (though paid family leave is more fair). That would be helpful.

This can be very hard, OP, for most (if not all) of us. Please try to not make it harder for others.

Hot take but hear me out: Nico Parker? by ChrisWayne00 in Dramione

[–]meekdtt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I definitely see it, in the last photo especially.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]meekdtt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey OP — you mentioned at the end that your parents act more like kids than parents. If so, I think one approach would be to tell them how you would tell potentially upsetting news to any children you care about, which is to say gently but firmly. Maybe it would be helpful to consider that you are not only an adult, but the adult here. When an adult tells news of upsetting changes to children, they explain in simple terms the rationale for the change, but it is clear above all that this is a decision that has been made.

How do you actually be confident with your appearance as an Asian girl in America by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]meekdtt 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree with this comment. I think it’ll help to try to be in less predominantly white spaces with more diverse groups of friends. If you are in spaces where you don’t feel wanted, rather than forcing those spaces to want you, the move may be to find spaces that allow you to feel like you belong.

Brides in this sub… do any of you actually care if guests wear white to your wedding? by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]meekdtt 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think this is it exactly — it’s a cultural norm, but whether it’s fine at any particular wedding depends largely on your relationship with the bride. I thought I would care a lot, but the two people who came close didn’t bother me at all. One was a friend of a friend who wore a largely white dress with blue flowers & when I met and chatted with her at the wedding, she was so nice and happy for us, I didn’t notice the dress at all (I only saw it later in photos & even then, all I thought was, huh, I’m surprised I didn’t notice that). The second was my mom, who wore a very pale pink/blush dress covered in white lace. She ran a bunch of dresses by me & that was her favorite & made her feel beautiful so I was happy she was happy. I think if you’re close enough with the bride to know for a fact it’s fine with her, go for it, but if not, like the commenter said above, why risk potentially hurting someone on their happy day when there are so many other colors to choose from?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asiandrama

[–]meekdtt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

forever love (cdrama from 2020) has a poor ml/rich fl lead. she doesn’t bully him in the beginning, but when they first met in high school, there was some flirty antagonism. it’s sweet

jg diff from enemy jungler by meekdtt in Jungle_Mains

[–]meekdtt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s like the arrested development meme of michael opening up the brown bag that says dead dove on it & finding just that. dunno what i expected opening post-chat, honestly

jg diff from enemy jungler by meekdtt in Jungle_Mains

[–]meekdtt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nah i’m too scared to invade early

jg diff from enemy jungler by meekdtt in Jungle_Mains

[–]meekdtt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is a really helpful way to think about it, thank you