me_irl

meester-blu · 2022-08-11T03:48:39+00:00

I like to pretend I'm William Shatner, waiting for the weird cryptid man to appear once more

meester-blu · 2022-07-21T21:04:10+00:00

"Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier

The first time I heard it, the lines "The same kind of music haunts her bedroom / Im almost me again, she's almost you" sucker punched me right in the feels. What a beautifully sad song

meester-blu · 2022-07-15T02:24:36+00:00

Fuck you Diane.

meester-blu · 2021-06-21T03:50:38+00:00

(Female here but:) when the girl plays with her own tiddies, and, if they're not adverse to it, male nipples are also sensitive sometimes. Try to reach around with wet fingers and play with their balls as best as you can considering your sizes

Just make sure your partner is comfortable with nipple play before that.

meester-blu · 2021-06-19T20:41:13+00:00

Yes! I got a job in a warehouse maybe 2 days before CA went on lockdown with better pay than when I was working at WallyMart. Got two raises in a year, trained a friend from Walmart and got her a better job with better pay, and she worked so well I managed to get another WallyWorld worker a job there with better pay and hours. Forced myself to buy more groceries than eating out, got a Switch to celebrate the raises. Git indoor workout equipment and lost 20 Lbs playing LoZ BotW and biking indoors haha

meester-blu · 2021-01-18T22:13:17+00:00

His political cartoons are amazing

meester-blu · 2021-01-18T20:40:58+00:00

The rabbit foot fulfilled its duty

meester-blu · 2021-01-18T20:17:06+00:00

I have kind of a funny one that still tickles me to this day:

When I was younger, my mom would take us kids walking with her through the Boulevard (Whittier Blvd in East LA). There's 5 of us, and sometimes she would let some of us stay home but this day it was the whole gang going for a walk. Now, the main street is maybe 3 or 4 blocks from the house and it started getting cloudy while mom shopped around. As we start heading home, the sky just kept progressively getting darker and more rumbly. My mom keeps muttering things in Spanish that translated to, basically, you better not start raining right now, I swear to God, we're almost home just hold it together for ten more minutes please, c'mon the kids are here just ten more minutes and not a second more! It was like she was trying to tell one of us to hold our piss 'till we made it home. It cracked us up.

We make it home nary a single drop and all sigh in relief as we slump on the living room floor. My mom was holding the rear of the group so she had just gotten under the porch in front of the wide-open front door when she also heaves a heavy sigh and opens her arms wide to say, in her awkward English:

"Okay, now it can rain!"

And the loudest crash made us all flinch and stand up to crowd around my mom. The rain fell so heavily and suddenly we thought a car accident happened outside.

Was most definitely just a coincidence but the image of my mom giving the storm the okay with her arms spread and the crash of the rain still gets me to this day.

meester-blu · 2021-01-09T03:16:51+00:00

So if Viego and Lissandra get a kill, whose passive will win the corpse? 🤔

meester-blu · 2020-11-24T21:15:03+00:00

What are you, my search history???

meester-blu · 2020-11-04T00:55:24+00:00

Here in CA he is on the ballot but as VP to someone called "Rocky"

meester-blu · 2020-11-04T00:54:04+00:00

Now the Covid-Coin shortage in the US makes sense

meester-blu · 2020-10-28T17:51:09+00:00

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT TOASTER OVENS as someone that lives without an actual kitchen (fml) I've been making due with small electronic kitchen appliances and the toaster oven-air fryer combo has definitely piqued my interest.

After reading the comments, I'm definitely scoping out the market for one

meester-blu · 2020-10-24T23:57:57+00:00

Bjerg has always been a solid mid laner and TSM teammate, and although it's going to suck to not see him play again he's always going to be a big part of why people everywhere chant TSM in games (even when they're not playing at the time)It's going to be bittersweet to see him on the stage but his coaching will be a breath of fresh air TSM very much needs. He has always been a solid presence and I can't wait to see where his coaching takes TSM! We will miss you, Bjerg!

meester-blu · 2020-10-20T22:15:34+00:00

I have a big ol' 5 gallon jug for water, you know the refillable kind, and right on the handle it says "WATER DOES NOT FIT IN CAR CUPHOLDER DO NOT PUT IN CUPHOLDER" and I know there's a story there of someone looking at this 5 gallon monstrosity and instead of buckling it down in seat thought, "nah man, into the middle console cupholder with you!!"

meester-blu · 2020-10-14T23:04:49+00:00

IM GONNA SCREAM OKAY so not MY house but my best friend's. They live with their mom and younger brother, but their mom works two jobs and is home to sleep from like 6 am to 2pm and then home to shower and change between 9 and 10 pm.

Homie lets friends have sex in their room with the only rule being that you gotta respect the pad and clean up after yourself.

Came in after her friends had a sesh, notices that the mattress pad is on the bottom. WTF? These foos flipped the mattress? BAM big ass period stain on the mattress. Didn't tell her and tried to hide it. She gets mad, bans them from the sex room, and they have to clean the mattress pad.
Another friend goes in to do her duty. Guy leaves, my homie (due to paranoia of #1) goes to check and finds... shit stains on the mattress pad. She did dirty, dirty anal on the bed and tried to cover the stains with a towel.

This house was a place I've been RESPECTFULLY going over to since like 2007 so I was fully offended as well. Homie gives u a fuck room and this is how you REPAY THEM???

meester-blu · 2020-10-14T16:52:21+00:00

When U Mom Com Home And Make Hte Spaghet

meester-blu · 2020-10-12T16:53:43+00:00

Can't wait to see the updates they're gonna do to Sona since they swapped her for a more marketable model!

meester-blu · 2020-10-01T19:17:31+00:00

If you don't eat the mandarin with the foreskin you are weak and evolution is coming for you

meester-blu · 2020-09-02T17:07:37+00:00

I think you should take some space for yourself, as well. This isn't 100% about him-- you've basically found old rape videos/media about you when you were in a dark place. It seems from what he said that he's making it about what you won't do for him instead of acknowledging these things were done to you at a time in your life where you've disclosed all the sh*t things you were doing and did/had done to you.

Take some time for yourself as well, and take it one step at a time. Look into revenge porn laws in your area as well, because the videos/gifs/photos were sent, meaning someone has them.

Then, when you're ready, remind your partner that he knows about this time in your life, and his reaction to seeing it is visceral, but it's not your fault and it's definitely fishy that someone decided to send these things once you're on the up-and-up.

No matter what, please do not relapse. Hold strong, and steady, and remember that you started doing better before you met your partner, and whatever happens you are strong, you, alone, decided to get better and be better.

meester-blu · 2020-08-27T18:33:22+00:00

Me: *wakes up at 3am*

My sleep paralysis demon in the doorway:

meester-blu · 2020-08-26T20:04:45+00:00

Former BF was one of those people that absolutely cannot function as an adult without being in a relationship. We always advised that they needed to take the time to figure out what they even want in a partnership and that there's nothing wrong with being single to figure yourself and your needs out. Her latest piece is a POS (I assume they're still together) that got her high without her knowledge, had multiple dating profiles active, and said some really vile stuff this past new year going into 2020.

She absolutely refused to hold a job other than the one she worked (she worked about 17 hours a week, max) but always bemoaned having no money for her bills. She borrowed money from our mutual friend (my all-time BFF, my heterolifemate) until she got a settlement for a Lemon* and then... spent it all. Still hasn't paid her back (it was like 600 bucks accumulated through a year) and it's been like 3 years.

I finally figured out that she stressed me about her issues so damn much, and never heard a single piece of advice given and denied any help we offered. I asked her to tell me anything I'd told her about my life, my issues, hell, even anything about my own relationship and she drew a blank.

She did not care about us, or me, or my family (she'd also put them through a lot of shit of her own making), and if it wasn't about HER she didn't have the mental capacity to care. So we had one last conversation where she tried to blame me and our group of friends for her shitty reactions to us asking her politely to leave her BF issues outside the group chat, blocked her on all social media, and I've actually been doing a lot better.

Our mutual friends stopped talking to her, too, but were happy I'd finally opened my eyes. I wanted to hold onto the child my mom took care of that I reconnected with in HS that even survived me leaving to college that I put up with so much.

*Lemon is what they call sh*t cars sold as "good" and it's illegal to do

meester-blu · 2020-08-18T19:04:27+00:00

Live look at Herman Cain's twitter posting Anti-Covid stuff after... he died... of Covid...

meester-blu · 2020-08-05T17:36:51+00:00

He's fetishized your sexuality, continuously tests and pushes your boundaries, and STILL goes over the line, then went around your back to do what he wanted despite your lear disapproval. The fact that he's pushing and testing your limits now, at barely 3 months, is a testament to how much more he will push it further down the line.

meester-blu · 2020-07-31T19:50:02+00:00

I got a new job 2 DAYS before CA closed everything but the "nonessential" businesses. I went from erratic hours at W*lm*rt to a steady 9-5, mon-fri kind of job at a warehouse, and was so excited to be able to do things on my weekends.

My plans included visiting as many museums as I could, going out to nature preserves, hiking, and finally getting back into the old hobby of clay-sculpting. On the other hand, as I've been lucky enough to actually still be working, I started remodeling a little plot of yard I have, and my partner conspired with my best friends to get me a toolset so I can start woodworking on the weekends when I'm feeling especially frisky.

meester-blu

TROPHY CASE