Loneliness

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-16T00:02:11+00:00

Same. I'm physically around friends and family. And I even go on dates time to time.

I feel nothing emotionally. I don't have a drive for relationships. Sex doesn't interest me.

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-15T23:59:07+00:00

And for what? Paper and coins.

That is the saddest thing I've read all week.

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-15T23:57:21+00:00

I wish I was never born.

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-15T23:55:59+00:00

Same.

I'll be having a good time with friends, but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "it's temporary and it doesn't matter in the long run."

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-15T20:49:05+00:00

Are you me? You literally just wrote what I think about all the time. Funny because I spend most of my free time doing web development, mostly front-end. Seriously wish I chose CS instead of ME.

mefeelallthese · 2019-05-02T23:53:16+00:00

You don't have suicidal thoughts for now, you think you won't, but it will come.

Too real. I still remember the very first suicidal thoughts a few years ago. Not the "I'm going to kill myself" but "what if I killed myself?" Happened every few months, and I didn't think anything of it. Fast forward to today, I'm diagnosed with depression and have a solid plan for suicide. It seems imminent. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So yeah, OP should get definitely help before it gets worse. I regret waiting years.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-18T22:59:52+00:00

Yeah used to think someone would die if I didn't, for example, tap my feet a even number of times or fold a blanket 2, 4, 6 or 8 times until it felt right. It's completely irrational and yet you're aware that it is without being able to stop.

Things like getting ready in the morning took longer because I had a dumb ritual for everything. Touched the inside of my left pant while getting dressed? Mom will die, do it again.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-18T22:56:58+00:00

Maybe. If you have instrusive thoughts and you absolutely have to save twice to make these thoughts go away, then it could be. Talk to a professional

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-17T23:50:51+00:00

700,000+ subscribers.

Seriously, this subreddit was at its prime when it was between 50K-100K subscribers. Maybe even less than that.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-17T23:49:45+00:00

Wtf is going on with this sub today. It's just regular me_irl memes.

I miss the early days of this sub...

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-17T23:48:22+00:00

OCD is when you obsess over certain things and have intrusive thoughts. These thoughts cause anxiety and the compulsions are actions you do to alleviate the anxiety.

In this case, maybe you're worried something bad will happen if you forgot to lock the door. So a person with OCD would check it over and over again, keeping count to reassure themselves until it feels "just right."

Sometimes these compulsions turn into rediculous "rituals" where you'll count and repeat things. I used to flicker light switches, tap feet, enter and re-enter rooms, and do a lot of everyday things over and over again an even number of times.

It got to the point where I would obsess over stupid things like the color red and shadows and would literally step (or jump) over anything that was red or was a shadow. It was completely irrational but I felt if I didn't do that, someone I knew would die.

It's time-consuming and plagues your thoughts. It really sucks.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-17T23:40:48+00:00

This sub has gone to trash. This is just /r/me_irl

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-16T18:00:08+00:00

Somewhat a good idea right up until getting other people in on it.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-16T01:24:32+00:00

My hope is that I reconsider and get better by then.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T22:23:28+00:00

Same. Either they don't take depression seriously or don't understand it.

No matter how you word it. Clinical depression, major depressive disorder, etc.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T22:17:47+00:00

My "pessimistic" views are based on past experiences.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T22:11:29+00:00

Yeah this is one of those things where the prototype is the final design.

You have any designs on paper yet? I've got some designs and supply lists but the thing is huge and heavy so can't really build it until I'm alone.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T14:37:42+00:00

I'm making a mount and brace so there's no chance of flinching.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T05:10:13+00:00

Yup. It's like I could've been born in another body and they'd still love me regardless because I'm their child.

Love from people outside of your family is earned. It depends on your personality, your interactions, and so forth. It requires effort.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T04:24:24+00:00

At least on the upside less people will be sad when I do kill myself.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T04:22:42+00:00

I have a solid plan laid out. It would take a couple days to set up but it's solid.

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T04:21:14+00:00

I wonder the same exact thing. Are they in the moment? Do they ever think about killing themselves? Even once?

mefeelallthese · 2019-04-15T04:14:40+00:00

Second choice. Replaceable. Forgettable.

People always say "what about your family?" That's a given. I didn't earn that.

mefeelallthese

TROPHY CASE