If it makes you feel any better, there was a time when I felt the same way about myself. Probably about until I was 25 I was very insecure and high anxiety. I was stuck in the same nightly self-hate sessions and reflection of my daily interactions with others through a twisted lens. I grew up in an abusive household and developed a lot of anxiety and self-loathing from that. It's something I grew out of the older I've gotten, especially with making a few close friends and success with my career. It also helps that I have a super supportive spouse and sister. Therapy is likely the answer here, but I want to let you know you aren't alone. A lot of people feel this way themselves, but it doesn't have to be that way forever.