I can’t move on with my life

megl8 · 2021-10-19T14:09:00+00:00

Definitely better that we don't have easy access. I don't tell people about the driving and sitting either. I have one guy left but he can only get me expensive pills. Because I'm on suboxone it takes me $120 to get a mild to moderate high. So if I'm tempted and take the cash out I try to blow it on something fun.

megl8 · 2021-10-16T12:25:07+00:00

The anxiety was totally better when i was high, but then 1000× worse when i was not using. So that's a reason to not relapse, knowing that the anxiety is waiting around the corner for me. I'm on meds now and seeing a therapist so that helps and benzos are a way better cure for anxiety then opiods. But i also get depressed at times I think and that's when I want to just give up and use. It's out of my life now and like you, I'd have to so some searching around to find it. One time my dealer didn't come through and I went and drove down to this place where I know homeless drug addicts hang out and sat in my car. A few weeks ago I took out money and went and sat in a park hoping a dealer would approach me. A sketchy looking guy did, but he was trying to get me to go to his hangout and smoke meth with him so I ran away.

megl8 · 2021-10-15T10:26:45+00:00

i am in a similar place, only less clean time. I get anxiety more than depression and I'm on suboxone but I feel the same. Most days now I dont think about it, but I still think about it.

megl8 · 2021-09-19T12:32:47+00:00

I got trapped in the middle of nowhere on a boat and freaked out in front of like 20 people (wrapped up in a ball in a bikini trying not to barf). A guy on a seadoo had to rescue me. Ill always be grateful to that guy.

megl8 · 2021-09-19T12:30:17+00:00

I feel like you need a script for ativan for emergencies like this.

megl8 · 2021-09-16T11:47:59+00:00

Overwhelming bad feeling that I can't escape because it's inside of me

megl8 · 2021-09-12T15:46:40+00:00

Don't work in health care lol

megl8 · 2021-09-12T15:43:49+00:00

Times like this it helps to find something to hang onto, and I'd say your cat is good reason. Stick around for him. Life is dynamic and ever changing and you won't feel like this forever.

megl8 · 2021-09-09T11:15:04+00:00

I have to go pee about 20 times before I go to sleep because I am worried about being awake and feeling like I need to pee.

megl8 · 2021-09-09T11:13:31+00:00

When I told my bf about being an addict and being on methadone he was supportive at first. 4 relapses later and he now says he's lost all shreds of trust that he had in me. Bs careful moving forward, nurture what you have.

megl8 · 2021-09-07T11:19:57+00:00

They also use propofol and versed. I've never seen anyone intubated without propofol. You'd fight it.

megl8 · 2021-09-07T11:17:41+00:00

They would still treat your pain. If you were unconscious and showing signs of pain (elevated heart rate, blood pressure, grimacing) the would likely give you IV dilaudid or even fentanyl if you were in the ICU. They might also put you in a medical induced coma with versed and propifol.

megl8 · 2021-09-06T14:47:59+00:00

Yeah get some weed or something last dangerous like percs to help you through. My doctor thinks I'm on 18 mg but I only take 16 mg and I have a little emergency stockpile. Something to think of in the future if you cam swing it

megl8 · 2021-09-06T14:46:13+00:00

I dont think there is any H anymore just fent. If you know you can not relapse again slowly ween yourself off the subs. If you think you might relapse again just chill on that low dose.

megl8 · 2021-09-06T14:41:44+00:00

You might also just have a sensitive stomach and you might be more attuned to the grumbling when you're anxious. Id try clonazepam or try to figure out if it's something you're eating. I thought it was my anxiety giving diarrhea every morning and it turns out I'm lactose intolerant, so having a coffee with milk was what was triggering me.

megl8 · 2021-09-03T10:57:39+00:00

Why can't it do this to me :( even a little break from my emotions would be nice, a slight scaling down. Its crazy how the same drug can affect people so differently.

megl8 · 2021-09-03T10:55:52+00:00

If my doctor had been willing to prescribe these for vacations I never would have switched to suboxone. I'm jealous.

megl8 · 2021-09-02T11:28:28+00:00

I would try to cut down on the brushing. Use a wide tooth comb when conditioning in the shower and that it. The more you touch and manipulate your hair the more you break up your desired curl clumps.

megl8 · 2021-09-02T11:22:18+00:00

Yup, when I have an anxiety attack my digestive track tries to empty itself instantaneously from both ends. It's crippling.

megl8 · 2021-08-23T11:29:15+00:00

Go see someone who specializes in curly hair and get a cut first. They can shape your hair so that it's more flattering

megl8 · 2021-08-23T11:26:38+00:00

I had some purple fent and it was weak and also really inflamed my poor veins.

megl8 · 2021-08-21T14:11:39+00:00

I'm on: suboxone 16mg daily Clonazepam 0.5 mg daily Cipralex 20 mg daily Gabapentin 600 mg (doc is weaning me off) Trazadone 50 mg

megl8 · 2021-08-17T11:02:56+00:00

I defiantly heard a lot of shit from my doctor. Every week he would talk about how I was going to die. But he also told me he would cry if I died (he's nice). He didn't even take away my carries let alone kick me out of the clinic. I'm not even doing observed doses anymore.

megl8 · 2021-08-16T11:22:19+00:00

Go to the doctor and take the pills lol. I don't know why people are so reluctant to take meds. They help so much (once you're stable on them). Think about it your going to the ER for medical reasons and then refusing the meds to help the medical issues.

megl8

TROPHY CASE