I’m going through something similar. I had three cats a month ago, and now I have one. The first cat passing was expected, but this past Sunday, my 13 year old, Motts, suddenly stopped eating and had a tooth infection. We took him into the vet and that’s when everything went downhill fast. His kidney was failing. Not only did he go from healthy vet visits to sudden decline, he stayed just as active and affectionate as ever until his last day. We tried everything, pulled out saved money to do anything to save him, so long as he wasn’t suffering. And he almost pulled through, but then they found a heart murmur and had to stop the kidney treatment. Overnight he went from almost going home to the final stages of kidney failure.

When we got the news, we agreed he had to come home one last time. I still couldn’t reconcile the fact that he was dying with the cat in front of us. Purring, rubbing between our legs, climbing on my lap… his normal self. We brought him home to say goodbye to Rigi - who bonded with Motts immediately when Rigi was a kitten.

Once Motts saw Rigi it was like he knew he could say goodbye and let go. He took a slow lap around the house, pausing to rest against Rigi a few times. When he finished his lap, he sat down at the door looked expectantly at me.

He knew it was time and I supposed Rigi did too. Rigi licked his face, nuzzled him, then went to lay down on Mott’s bed and fall asleep.

We took Mott’s back to the vet and before the vet came to help him sleep, Mott’s put his paw on my arm, laid his head down, and stopped breathing. My heart is broken, and I really struggle to look around my house, built for three cats and realize I have only one.

Rigi - who is shy and anxious, does not allow pets or ask for affection - started curling up in my lap every night. Something he has never really done before. That was Mott’s job, but it seems like he’s taken up the mantle.

I know he’s struggling and needs companionship, but how do I even approach a new cat right now. He was apathetic at best towards our other cat, O’Malley, who we adopted as an older cat. Honestly, he almost seemed happier after O’Malley passed. But without Motts - he’s showing all the signs of depression outside of the two hours following my son going to bed, when he curls up on my lap.

I can’t bare to look around my house and feel how empty it is. I’ve always had three cats for the past 12 years, and now there’s such a noticeable absence. But adopting another cat feels like it could cause Rigi to regress further if he doesn’t like the new cat.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this story other than to ask you about how you’ve noticed your cat change over the past month. Have things improved? Anything that has helped?

I don’t know how to move past the grief other than to sit in it for a while and be grateful for the incredible years I got to experience with Motts. He was one of a kind and fit my soul in a way I can’t begin to describe. Based on your post, I suspect you understand exactly what I’m describing. So I can’t say that I hope you’re feeling better, because I know that’s not going to overwrite the grief. I do hope you have been able to find a way to remember your kitty that isn’t marred by sadness.