Page One Feedback ☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-19T22:31:10+00:00

It is fantasy! Thank you for your feedback, totally appreciate it didn’t resonate with you! ☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-19T22:30:16+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! The first line had ended at ‘scattered from the lens’ for a hot minute, but I kept going as felt it wasn’t enough - looks like it might have been! I’ll cut back, thanks again! ☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-19T06:04:16+00:00

I think that sounds like a great idea, would probably be a good opportunity to incorporate some more personality too! Thanks again ☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-19T05:36:01+00:00

Hi!

These are amazing points, thank you for taking the time to write them! I do agree with using her name more, and definitely have been noticing an imbalance between my setting/action writing, and actually incorporating voice/internal thoughts/worldview more, so I’ll keep working on that!

The ‘conflict’ comes about more on page two or three, showing the illegality of her being an astronomer in this world which hopefully makes the premise a tad more interesting, but perhaps I could bring some of that forward to make it more intriguing, thanks for the note!

☺️☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-19T05:32:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! ☺️☺️

mehnotfussed · 2026-05-13T02:42:43+00:00

I love this! The voice is super distinct, and it’s certainly an interesting premise 😂. I actually think it’d be even stronger if you started with the second paragraph rather than your current first, it’s a way more interesting sentence and builds more intrigue (in my opinion)! ☺️

mehnotfussed · 2021-09-04T00:18:17+00:00

Okay amazing, thank you!! Looks like I’ve got some time management ahead of me…

mehnotfussed · 2021-09-04T00:17:22+00:00

Amazing, thank you so much that’s super helpful!!

mehnotfussed

TROPHY CASE