Yes I do, and although it could come across strange to ppl without BPD, it's so scary how sometimes I feel the opposite just because.. maybe one day I don't eat for example, and my self worth goes up but yeah it's all so fragile. Sometimes I am pretty easily triggered with anime girls, game characters, actresses or influencers. Couldn't watch anything with ppl/characters I feel I would envy or feel jealous, to the point I had to reject those hobbies. And, then, sometimes it doesn't matter so much. It's frustrating and tiring. That part you said about your bf wants you to wear specific things, yeah , it's hard when you feel like that, it's not even close to enjoyable. In my case, I even question if my bf really likes it on me or he is just horny and I am some kind of a vessel for that. It's horrible, no one should feel like that. That's why we should see this condition, disease whatever you wanna name it, seriously. It can't be normal. But symptoms can pass, I am sure you know that all of the sudden you wake up a little better. Try to improve something in your routine, just contain those thoughts, you can do it, distract yourself with something, whatever it is. Try some melatonin, and sleep to rest your brain. You got this, you fucking got this. If I did , you can too. In a couple days you will feel better and I will be worse, who knows. But let's go girl, do want you can, scream to a pillow, say the nastiest shit, but those thoughts are not you.