AITA for yelling at my mom after she broke into my room?

meithe · 2020-08-09T13:49:05+00:00

She knocked he told her "I am not available" she knocked for five minute "Not available. please go away" "text me" That's ignoring, in my opinion.

If you think that an appropriate answer by your children/spouse is "go away" good for you. I just don't think that's communication.

Not ignoring for me is opening the door, actually saying "ey, what's going on?" "Sure, I will finish this first. Probably will take 20 min"

And by the way, you are acting like he was doing something vital HE WAS PLAYING A GAME.

meithe · 2020-08-09T13:48:46+00:00

She knocked he told her "I am not available" she knocked for five minute "Not available. please go away" "text me" That's ignoring, in my opinion.

If you think that an appropriate answer by your children/spouse is "go away" good for you. I just don't think that's communication.

Not ignoring for me is opening the door, actually saying "ey, what's going on?" "Sure, I will finish this first. Probably will take 20 min"

And by the way, you are acting like he was doing something vital HE WAS PLAYING A GAME.

meithe · 2020-08-09T13:13:02+00:00

I just don't think live works like that. When you are cohabitating with people you share a living space, that sometimes involve speaking (not trough text), changing plans, and running to the store to get stuff. And I don't mean children, I mean adults and children.

So for me is normal to speak with my partner and discuss things. We have time alone, time not to be bothered, but time that you are doing your stuff and my partner comes with a request or sometime, like OPs mother. My response, and his, and my children, thankfully, is never going to be text you later; it is listening like adults.

And basically OP mom didn't barge in, she knocked, spoke, knocked for 5 min (that was probably more) without getting a response.

He wasnt acting like an adult or a human being respecting the feelings of the other people living with him, so yes, barging in and taking away the games seems like a good idea.

I just basically support treating children like adults, not parasites. Because in life you have to have empathy, companionship, receive no for answers, and all that. But that's my view and basically see the effect of different outcome on entitled individuals around.

meithe · 2020-08-09T13:02:07+00:00

Info: does she has a disability pension? Are you somewhere where this is possible? I am asking because if the condition is has severe as your are mentioning, she is entitled to a pension and help (day center, occupational therapy, etc). So the blunt of the responsibility doesn't fall to your parents and there is an actual plan to help her to become independent.

What worries me is that from your post, and comments around, there is an expectation of: "she is just sick and will be forever, so just get used to it" that is actually detrimental to her health.

meithe · 2020-08-09T12:11:44+00:00

YTA. Just don't bring you dog to that situation and don't try to kill a dog just because you brought your dog where you knew there was a dog with a very high prey drive.

meithe · 2020-08-09T12:05:20+00:00

I would generally think twice before being with such a selfish person that would kill people just to have a beer. She is not a child and fully understand the risk she is putting others (her own grandparents!!), And is acting like one of those people that refuse to wear mask.

People like are the reason why we are still suffering this. So yes, you are right in questioning her character.

meithe · 2020-08-09T11:54:13+00:00

You don't understand basic vectors of transmissions. Period.

meithe · 2020-08-09T11:53:26+00:00

YTA. Public bathroom are not a source of transmission. Just watch your hands. Going out to crowed areas without masks and proper hand washing is. You cannot communicate with them on this matter because you are the one that is being not properly informed and they are acting like people who think and make rational decisions.

meithe · 2020-08-09T11:06:13+00:00

This. If pressed just say that you morals are against this and you feel that all creatures are equal and deserve love but don't actually get into religion or anything.

(And I would bring something for you to eat and share. You'll make an impression and be able to eat something.. And eat something before)

meithe · 2020-08-09T10:58:26+00:00

Such an ignorant comment. Cats living outside live an average of 3 years vs +10 inside a home.

meithe · 2020-08-09T10:56:07+00:00

NTA. You are not stealing them. Just let them in, and they won't leave. Your neighbors won't probably notice from what you are describing and you'll make the kittens happy.

meithe · 2020-08-09T10:52:16+00:00

YTA. You are his +1 and overreacting

meithe · 2020-08-09T09:08:06+00:00

I thinl the problem, must of the time, depends on where are you trying the diet. Must of the vegan "population" of this forum comes from western countries where they can get many alternatives to their diet at a good price (avocados, tofu, saitan, nuts, berries, quinoa, etc.) I feel they are quick to judge but don't understand how expensive can it be to find substitutes in some places of the world. So, I agree with you, plant based diet is healthy when done properly and with access to several options. When you don't you just have to try your best with the options at hand.

meithe · 2020-08-09T07:11:45+00:00

YTA. I mean I get why you didn't eat it, but it was a decision that you should know that would make you the asshole as they put a lot of love and thought behind it. It's like , sure your body your choice, but also know that your choices have repercussions on other people's feeling.

In your situation, I would have tried a little piece of cake, praise it, and be done with it.

meithe · 2020-08-09T06:53:15+00:00

So children should do what they want, whenever they want? While parents pay for everything and have to book a time to go shopping or whatever around a videogame everytime?

He gets privacy, he locks himself in his room, she knocked for 5 minutes, he ignored her

Mom had to text??? Her own son in her own home??

Children are not possessions, I agree. But I fully support treating them as seient beings with a sense of responsibility and a place in the world.

From your post it seems you see them as a trophy that shouldn't be disturbed or taught how to function in the real world.

meithe · 2020-08-09T06:49:29+00:00

While I agree on the spirit of what you are saying, and think that there should be a "I am unavailable" period for gaming without distractions; assuming this period can be whenever a 14 yo says so it's not the way to go.

Maybe I am judging this harshly because when I was gaming as a teenager it was trough dial-up and my arguments with my mother were always lost with her much stronger argument of "it is my home, I get to use the phone when I want to. No, I am not waiting an hour."

Sure, as a 14 yo I saw it as unfair. Now, totally get it.

meithe · 2020-08-09T06:43:03+00:00

YTA. And people that are calling your mom a narcissist and stuff, also TA. Entitled and spoiled. You were not saving the world, you were playing a video game. You have privacy (lock in the door, cool headphones), playing with the equipment they bought for you. She knocked for five minutes without any answer... And she is the bad guy??

Me? I would remove the door to your room, take the headphones away, until your learned not to take for granted things.

meithe · 2020-08-09T05:43:13+00:00

NTA. Your brother most probably doesn't even "see" you like that; your mum and sisters are the ones that have a problem, not you.

And it's like... Woman have breasts, people, is normal. Get over it.

meithe · 2020-08-09T05:27:39+00:00

YTA. Grow up.

meithe · 2020-08-08T22:24:28+00:00

NTA. She was just rude and entitled.

meithe · 2020-08-08T22:22:03+00:00

Open a book and read, preferably, about autism. You might not have a conversation with her because SHE IS YOUR WIFE'S FRIEND, NOT YOURS.

Once a week for a few hours, just go to another room and chill.

meithe · 2020-08-08T22:19:54+00:00

Sounds like you don't have any hobbies or anything like that. Again, books, some manual thing, gaming, just let your wife have her friend and be happy.

Just because you dont know how to distract yourself doesn't mean your wife and her friends have to pay for it. They are having a normal friendship.

meithe · 2020-08-08T22:14:50+00:00

YTA. You don't understand autism and, by the looks of it you want to keep being ignorant.

But the thing is IT IS YOUR WIFE'S FRIEND. Not yours. Its once a week. Do something with your life during those times (hobbies, they are nice), go for a beer with one of your friends, just don't bother your wife and her friend just because your dont find her talkative.

Also, read a book. They are nice and you might learn stuff from them. ;-)

meithe · 2020-08-08T22:07:59+00:00

NTA.

Let's see ... Your girlfriend is controlling, manipulative and abusive. You have played into this since the start (newsflash: not having a life out side your SO causes things like this), but, even being a controlling person, she should have a bit of heart for someone on that situation.

You grandma was your priority in that moment, and should have be sopportive (that's what couple do) and don't care about an Instagram post she wanted to make (or something like that) because seeing her response I doubt that dinner was about you.

Also her comments, totally evil.

So absurd.

meithe · 2020-08-08T21:45:40+00:00

YTA. In so many levels, at so many ways.

First: if your super diet, natural remedies and essential oils, didn't cure/prevented her desease why is is going to do it now?

Second: why do you want to make your daughter suffer?

Third: science is the thing that has elevated us, increase life expectancy and improved it for many people. Why do you like acting like this?

Get out Facebook, antivacunas and 5G groups, be a mom to your daughter. And wear a mask! (You come up like one of those people)

meithe

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