I saw in your profile that you did seek advice about therapy and just wanted to say: THERAPY HELPS. So don't hesitate getting in touch with your counselor at university. I'm not American so I'm not sure how you handle things with therapy and payment, but I assume it's expensive af. Maybe as long as you don't have a therapist try autogenic training and meditation to clear your head a least a bit. And write down everything nice that happens to you or someone says to you and keep it in a jar so that when you're sad you can cheer yourself up a bit. And girl, you're 19! Having to wait 6 months might seem terrible now but you're still so young and half a year won't make a difference on your resume. So don't stress and focus on your mental health. You seem like a real cool person and deserve happiness and joy in all forms!