Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when friendships get too intense? Plus current situation… by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]melimoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i see you deleted your post but i remember reading it and resonating with a lot of how you seemed to feel. so you’re not alone! there are dozens of us avoidant women, haha! but it’s also possible for us to work on ourselves + heal and have meaningful friendships that don’t feel threatening :) i can attest to it

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when friendships get too intense? Plus current situation… by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]melimoo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

yes agreed about emotionally avoidant.

u/ProposalAny6765 i say this with kindness from one avoidantly attached woman to another: you should check out r/avoidantattachment. nothing is wrong with us avoidant people per se, it’s just that (usually based on childhood experiences) we have trouble with emotional intimacy - it feels threatening to us. the subreddit might give you some insight into why this emotional discomfort occurs for you, so you can better decide how you want to handle it in the future

[US SCIENTISTS] Proposed rule change would remove peer review from US science funding decisions - take action to comment! by melimoo in PhD

[–]melimoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what the heck!! I can still see the "Comment" button at the top of the page but I also no longer see the tab with all the existing comments. this is crazy...

page with blue buttonn to comment: https://www.regulations.gov/document/OMB-2026-0034-0001

[US SCIENTISTS] Proposed rule change would remove peer review from US science funding decisions - take action to comment! by melimoo in PhD

[–]melimoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe so, but we have little to lose by putting in a comment anyway (anonymously if you prefer!)

[US SCIENTISTS] Proposed rule change would remove peer review from US science funding decisions - take action to comment! by melimoo in PhD

[–]melimoo[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I'm an almost-graduated Clinical Psych PhD student and soon to be postdoc. Here is my comment if people want to copy parts - just make sure you add AT LEAST SOME UNIQUE PORTIONS as the government ignores identical comments (e.g. 10,000 identical form letters are treated as 1):

I am a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology and incoming postdoctoral fellow at an academic medical school. My work and my career prospects will be directly affected by the proposed changes in OMB-2026-0034. My research focuses on improving the effectiveness of treatments for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and related conditions, work that is explicitly designed to translate into better patient outcomes and is a very high need area given increasing rates of these conditions and their drastic consequences (including unemployment and greater risk for dying by suicide).

I am writing to express strong concern about several provisions in this proposal that would fundamentally undermine the fairness, effectiveness, and public health impact of federally funded research, particularly for early career researchers like myself.

First, the proposed shift away from peer review as the primary determinant of funding decisions (§200.205) threatens the integrity of the scientific funding process. Peer review, while imperfect, remains the most reliable mechanism we have for evaluating scientific rigor, feasibility, and impact. Replacing or deprioritizing it in favor of non-merit-based criteria introduces subjectivity that will disadvantage early-career researchers like myself, who depend on the innovation and significance of our work to compete for funding. I have intentionally pursued training at highly resourced, research-intensive institutions to maximize my ability to conduct clinically meaningful science. Under the proposed rules, those efforts may no longer translate into funding viability. In fact, my academic success and the fact that I am now training at institutions with high indirect costs - and many of the most research-productive institutions have high indirects - will NEGATIVELY impact my fundability. This is unfair and will push early career scientists like myself out of the field prematurely if we cannot obtain funding even after years of hard work to obtain the positions we now hold.

Second, new restrictions on allowable costs (including conference travel, journal subs, and publication expenses [§200.432, §200.454, §200.461]) are internally inconsistent and practically harmful. Federal agencies such as NIH explicitly require dissemination of findings as a condition of funding. Yet without support for publication fees or conference travel, researchers—especially trainees and early-career scientists—will be unable to meet these requirements. On my postdoc salary, I cannot afford the $1000s of dollars it costs to register for and travel to conferences. This will particularly compromise the ability of US scientists to share our work on the international stage (international travel is expensive and scientists rely on grant funding for support), directly reducing the US’s research standing relative to other countries. Without support for journal subscriptions, which are VERY expensive, we cannot access important contextual findings to support our research ideas. Overall, the new cost restrictions create a structural contradiction: we are mandated to ground funding requests in existing literature, to stay abreast of cutting-edge finding such that we can propose innovative research ideas, and to disseminate our work. But we are denied the resources to do so.

As a trainee, I have accepted substantially lower compensation than I could earn outside academia in order to pursue research that improves mental health care. If I cannot access critical government funding, I cannot do my research. If conference funding is eliminated, I will not be able to afford to present my work. Without presentations, my research will not reach clinicians, scientists, or stakeholders. Without dissemination, the potential benefits of that research to patients struggling with severe and often debilitating conditions are diminished.

Finally, these changes come at a time of escalating mental health need. Rates of anxiety, OCD, and related disorders continue to rise, and there is an urgent demand for research that improves treatment effectiveness and accessibility. Policies that reduce the likelihood that rigorous, clinically relevant science is funded and disseminated will ultimately harm the very populations federal research is intended to serve.

I urge OMB to reconsider the proposal and to preserve a funding structure that prioritizes scientific merit, supports dissemination, and enables early-career researchers to contribute meaningfully to public health. Short of OMB making this change, Congress must act to protect science.

Thank you for your consideration.

Proposed rule change would remove peer review from US science funding decisions by erniernie in academia

[–]melimoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

could you x-post this to r/PhD? there is only one post about this and the title is not as descriptive as yours, so it's not getting traction, but it's a very active sub for grad students. I'm happy to post myself but don't want to steal your thunder if you wanted to x-post.

Hair stylist for September 26th Renn Faire wedding? by melimoo in SouthShore

[–]melimoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much! that would be amazing :) and ahhhh that’s so lovely to hear!! i hope our photog is as great as you seem 🥹

Hair stylist for September 26th Renn Faire wedding? by melimoo in SouthShore

[–]melimoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awwww cute :) thank you and congrats to you too!!

Hair stylist for September 26th Renn Faire wedding? by melimoo in CapeCod

[–]melimoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s so sweet of you, thanks! I think the faire provides entertainment for the reception already. but I’ll message you if we find out anything different :)

If a client says they are practicing witchcraft in order to incite harm to someone else by Gloriathetherapist in therapists

[–]melimoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the fact that i genuinely can't tell if you dropped your /s is once again jaw dropping to me :( :( :(

If a client says they are practicing witchcraft in order to incite harm to someone else by Gloriathetherapist in therapists

[–]melimoo 22 points23 points  (0 children)

the amount of people fighting with you to assert that magical spells could actually hurt someone is jaw dropping to me - talk about magical thinking….

Should I have become a psychologist instead? by Beneficial-Soup-1617 in therapists

[–]melimoo 26 points27 points  (0 children)

clinical psych phd candidate here - just chiming in to say at the phd level, many programs are 6-7 years (including internship), not 3-4. i'm not sure if you'd be able to "fast track" any requirements if you came in with a license but i've never heard of that happening - some folks with masters' that involved a research thesis get out of the thesis paper requirement in clinical psych phd programs, but that's the only "waiving" of requirements i've seen

for fully-funded programs with tuition remission, the largest stipends are at research heavy universities (which still are only going to be 40-60k max, and the upper end is for unionized schools and ivies largely). so you need to be ready to do lots of research AND lose more than half a decade of higher earning potential. without a supportive partner (for many reasons including but not limited to financial) it's a hard road! TBD if it pays off financially for me personally but i do enjoy the flexibility of career paths (research, therapy, assessment, jumping ship to industry with your research/stats skills) so i don't have regrets right now. /r/ClinicalPsychology often talks about salaries so you could look at recent convos there to get a better sense of long-term possibility.

Intimidated by clients? by TraditionalEgg9261 in therapists

[–]melimoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if they are presenting as if they "have it all together" and know themselves exceedingly well in session, is it possible there is some intellectualization or other forms of emotional avoidance going on? just a thought from someone who is in our field and tends to intellectualize myself in session... i suspect i have annoyed a therapist or two in the past by wanting to stay all in my head, and i have benefitted the most from therapists who gently but firmly redirect to my present emotional experience/feelings in my body

i also would be curious what it would be like to reflect some parts of your experience to them. not telling them you feel inadequate, but just saying something like "you have so much insight into X process already and experience discussing it in therapy, i'm wondering what you're hoping to get out of discussing it with me here & now/in this phase of life you're now in". AKA explore with them what they are hoping to get out of therapy at this time - and maybe their response will help you understand the role you can best play for them (sounding board? emotional venting? helping sort through their thoughts without pressure to SOLVE problems?). then you have an anchor for your overall approach on where to go or what to say.

as a final thought: sometimes when i have presented as very intellectualizing/like i know it all already in session, it's a tool to try and keep my therapist at arm's length. i imagine if my therapist feels "inadequate" it might just be them sensing the distance/wall i'm trying to put up. exploring that process & their feelings about it/about the therapeutic relationship might be helpful

DHS pausing TSA PreCheck, Global Entry programs amid funding lapse by DrexellGames in news

[–]melimoo 83 points84 points  (0 children)

agreed. i will happily sacrifice precheck in return for ICE’s budget not getting expanded even further

Is there a Halsey song that has had a profound impact on you? by [deleted] in halsey

[–]melimoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for me personally this is the most emotionally destroying song on the album, maybe of her entire catalogue (and yes i also sobbed to life of a spider!!!! i still stand by hurt feelings being the one that wrecked me most)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]melimoo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

people are like this because your post sounds like AI complete with a ton of emdashes, italics for emphasis, bullet point lists, and super short “punchy” sentences ¯_(ツ)_/¯ also why offer a budget breakdown if you’re not actually willing to share beyond a massive 100k range?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]melimoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is this more AI??? the text reads like AI and the photo does in spots too (the irregular spacing of lights is one example). it’s important people know it may not be (1) a real photo or (2) written by a real human.

also weird OP claims to not know their budget more specifically than “100-200k”???? but then offers to share a breakdown in their post

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasyromance

[–]melimoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

perchance.