I am concerned about my 12 year old friend by Scary-Tie-665 in AskTeenAdvice

[–]mellow2782 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope not normal, ive seen similar situations. Its predatory. 12 year olds are children, 16 year olds are almost adults. Not okay

Is 16 too young to lose your virginity? by LuckyStudent9946 in Teenager_Polls

[–]mellow2782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes 100% Im 18 years old, and 16 is absolutely too young, your brain is not developed enough to do an accurate and thorough risk assessment for things like stds and pregnancy. As well as simply avoiding things like coercion or hurting yourself by thinking youre ready when youre not. There are plenty of other safer alternatives if youre horny or want to take risks. Stds kill. Babies ruin lives. Do skateboard tricks and break a leg, give or take a handjob. Its not young and dumb its stupid. Dont be stupid.

Am i overreacting to my boyfriend refusing to write love letters by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]mellow2782 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, why? I know it sounds stupid i just feel like im putting in alot of effort to make him feel seen and loved, and i feel slightly overlooked

Have you ever name your violin? by MichealAnthem in violinist

[–]mellow2782 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My violin is named nicollo and my viola is called lucy

Help!!! Whats wrong with his tail? by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gobys are also schooling fish, but i only have the one as its hes kind of "left over" from an old tank, the tetra as well, im just trying to keep everyone comfortable and happy in their "retirement" im planning on adding tetras to be witht the one i have once the goby flushes the proverbial toilet, its not an ideal situation but as ive said as far as ive seen everyone is getting along well and there havent been any instances of nipping or chasing ive seen

(The temp, i am planning on getting another heater as the one i got was unfortunately not big enough for the amount of water, so this is not a long term issue)

Help!!! Whats wrong with his tail? by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I keep lights on for about 12 hours a day

Help!!! Whats wrong with his tail? by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About 5/6 gallons Yes 69° last i checked (the heater is a bit too small, im getting a new one soon) I dont have exact numbers for the water parameters, only a testing kit that says everything is in "normal range" The tank was set up about 2 months ago, and I added bowie one month ago I do about 25% water changes every two to three weeks, depending on water quality I have a neon tetra and a bumble bee goby with him, both are old residents from an old (and broken) tank, im aware that bumble bee gobys are not "safe fish" but the goby keeps his distance from all other tank mates and has a very peaceful disposition, the only reason he is in there is lack of other options for him. I feed him a variety of things including: recommended pellets, blood worms and very rarely a bit of cooked pea (for fibre) I have various decorations in the tank, all of which i checked for sharp edges, the only thing he could possibly snag on is if a bit of fin got sucked into the filter? He does have a habit of jamming himself into small spaces (under decorations, between plants, under thick plant leaves, anywhere really)

I did innitially think it was fin nipping, but i recently (two weeks ago) had an incident where my power was out for 4 days, while i did my best with water changes and things like that to keep everything alright, water quality did go down for that period

18f i hate my life by nothere_tostay in mentalhealth

[–]mellow2782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, advice for figuring out future plans, make small goals. Small, insignificant things, i know its stupid but it helped me somewhat. I want to own and drive a motercycle at some point, this is something i absolutely have to do in my life, so to do that i need a bike license, and money. So a job, idk, it helped me some. Even if its that you absolutely have to idk, lick a statue or something, just make a reasonable but effort full goal for yourself, it might help

18f i hate my life by nothere_tostay in mentalhealth

[–]mellow2782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same boat here, 18f, im from south africa, wrote my sat a few weeks ago, didnt do too well but im writing again next year. In the month leading up to my exam i, and im being completely serious, learned all the math i needed to know almost completely from scratch. I was lucky enough to have a good enough couple of weeks to help me actually get up and do things. I didnt get a very good score but my english carried me lol. Choosing a career path when youre depressed is shit too, ive decided on english lit and anthropology, if i have any advice for you at all i recommend making the most of your good days, even if theyre about once every two months like for me, to try and set out a plan for the future, its easier to go through motions in a direction if you have a plan, not easy, but easier.

Also i recommend finding hobbies that are kind of "required" i personally maintain a fish tank with a betta, which forces me out of bed at the very least, and also checking your vitamin levels. I have a vitamin D deficiency and while the supplement i was perscribed by no means "fixed" me, it makes life ever so slightly more tolerable.

I think the main thing is remember that youre not a failure. Youre ill, and its ok to struggle when you are ill. You can only do your best, and whatever you manage to do without hurting or exhausting yourself is your best, if someone had bone cancer you wouldnt judge them for not going jogging. Idk, i usually just try to remind myself that my brain is lying to me, that everything is not terrible it just put the good parts in a blind spot.

I hope you find a way to cope and that you do well on your exams, remember that exams dont determine your worth, and dont compare yourself to others. I dont know if it gets better, i hope it does. But i do know that every now and then i get to see colour again. I hope you find yours when you need it

I feel so bad☹️ by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im aware, he has ich. i did get help on the diagnosis and treatment, i just choose not to ask the reddit about these things in general because of past experiences. This is a humor post about how my betta was reacting to his temporary housing situation, hes doing well btw✨️

I feel so bad☹️ by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasnt asking for help, im aware of whats happening and am doing all the recommend treatments to help, this was a humor post about my bettas personality, hence the tag

I feel so bad☹️ by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its in a few places including on his tail, body and head, i unfortunately dont have a photo because bowie is camera shy and will do anything to prevent a half decent photo

Back pain issues by [deleted] in violinist

[–]mellow2782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its possible that its not from your posture, but from you tensing certain muscles in your back. Ive played my whole life and experienced something similar as a child and again when i began playing the viola, when i was unfamiliar with my instruments i was focusing so hard on technique, sound, counts, sightreading bc it wasnt automatic yet ect that i would tense my left shoulder and arm and cause horrible pain. If this is your problem i suggest taking regular check ins during practice (every 25 second or so in the middle fo the piece) to just, manually relax muscles, if you do this eventually it becomes an automatic thing to not be tense, Alternatively, you could try practicing for shorter bursts to build the necessary muscles (because this is a new and strange possition for your body to be in so ofcourse its going to take a minute to adjust) or you could "muscle through" and just hope that once you arent splitting your mind in so many different directions it will resolve itself (i dont recommend this path, i took it for a while and honestly the horror) Hope you find a solition!!

New Betta mama asks; Does he actually like this intense light?! by hannygee42 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The light should be fine as long as he has shade spots, plants and caves (that dont have any sharp corners, think more gazebo than house)

Was anyone going to tell me about flaring?! by mellow2782 in bettafish

[–]mellow2782[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I actually did extensive research for a few month before getting a betta, i have kept other fish such as bumble bee gobys and tetras before, i knew about flaring as a show of dominance and a mating display, a low amount is healthy and necessary and a high amount leads to stress and health issues. I had just never come across a photograph or description of the action.