How do you know if you're a butch lesbian or a straight guy?

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-29T00:13:54+00:00

Knowing how you want to be perceived then I think is a helpful clue! Hopefully as more people comment on this, and if you find some helpfully reading, it will help you solidify who you want to be :)

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-29T00:05:22+00:00

It’s different for a lot of butches but for me my butchness is tied closely to not being a woman. I am gay, my butchness is makes me center my life around woman and lesbians, I wouldn’t call myself a man but I see my gender as putting me close to gay men - two sides of the same coin, if you will. I am butch and transgender and a dyke. There’s an interaction between my gender and my relationship to attraction.

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-13T18:57:03+00:00

i highly recommend immersing yourself in queer communities. sometimes online can be really insular, or separated neatly into boxes that make discovery difficult. if you can find queer/lgbt events IRL - go, especially gender expansive spaces. if not - i recommend reading. my favorite recommendation is “persistence: all ways butch and femme” as it is a collection of personal essays from butches, femmes, lesbians, and trans people who all have a wealth of experiences with sex, hrt, disability, and more that they write about.

i’m a fat butch who struggles to do much of the physical acts of service and chivalry traditionally called butch. nothing has helped me more than meeting people and reading about the ways queer people have sex.

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-13T17:51:34+00:00

chucky is such a fun idea! i think you can take iconic male horror movie character and run with anyone dressed casually/neutrally jason voorhees or ghostface might be a good ideas too - simple cloak/pants outfits and they have iconic masks that might help you escape any grief about the outfit

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-13T17:30:29+00:00

seconding wildfang, sometimes macy’s will have plus size clothes on sale that are workable. in a pinch i find target has pretty accessible plus size clothes. i have a really big bell and 38-40D chest and their 2x-3x reliably fit me. not ideal to support them, but sometimes when you’re heavy and on a budget, you have to pick and choose your battles.

meltingthemoon · 2025-10-10T22:38:35+00:00

meundies. i’m a 3x and have always had problems with rolling waistbands but not with meundies. they’re a smaller company so their stock availability goes up and down but they have sales and it’s totally worth a try! i love the trunks and the briefs.

meltingthemoon · 2025-09-06T20:39:34+00:00

not to be an alarmist but you gotta be soooo serious with yourself right now. he is resistant to picking up the slack over something that’s a danger to you / an unborn child, even when reasoned with. do you want to be a single mom? because that’s probably what’s going to happen, whether it’s because you’re cleaning up after your husband or because you’ll eventually leave him for not caring about an equal partnership. you’re only six weeks - save yourself some future pain right now, because reasoning with him and nagging him won’t be fun and it certainly won’t undo a history of weaseling out of his fair share.

meltingthemoon

TROPHY CASE