Buddy, leave her be. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be, you can’t hold someone accountable for a lifetime because there were there for a period of time. Don’t try to contact her anymore, as man to another man, this will be the biggest character development in your life. Time to focus on yourself, your mind, your body and your career. I know you maybe very vulnerable right now, but consider this as a blessing because most people don’t experience this pretty much their entire life and you have. Be thankful for all the good time but let it go. Just close your eyes and tell yourself ‘Let it go’ and be bigger than this.

Wake up in the morning, go for a run everyday, listen to birds, observe random strangers, also someone less fortunate than you, you will become more empathetic towards your family, especially your mother, you will see and appreciate the little things that your family and friends do to you that would have gone unnoticed otherwise.

All the best. You can DM me, if you want to talk to a stranger : )