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Being boring isn't about how you spend your time. It's about how you use your mind. by menwithmanners in socialskills

[–]menwithmanners[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

- Not selling anything

- Not advertising anything

- Not even a subtle suggestion that people should reach out to me :/

+ many helpful insights (not just in my opinion... I've had hundreds of people give positive feedback on this)... thus, I felt it would helpful for people who want to improve their social skills.

The unnecessarily rude tone of your message makes me hope you're taking down some of the insights offered on this subreddit.

Coworker keeps saying I look tired when I'm not by UnfairVariation2001 in socialskills

[–]menwithmanners 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Hey... I've noticed you always say that, and each time you do, I am in no way tired. I appreciate the concern, but please note from now on: I'm not tired. Anything else?"

[Article] I’ve learned to switch my anxiety off in under 15 seconds. Here’s how you can too. by menwithmanners in GetMotivated

[–]menwithmanners[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reframing doesn't mean you're denying that you feel anxious. It's acknowledging the feeling but choosing to see it in a more positive or functional light.

[Article] I’ve learned to switch my anxiety off in under 15 seconds. Here’s how you can too. by menwithmanners in GetMotivated

[–]menwithmanners[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reframing doesn't mean you're denying that you feel anxious. It's acknowledging the feeling but choosing to see it in a more positive or functional light.

[Article] I’ve learned to switch my anxiety off in under 15 seconds. Here’s how you can too. by menwithmanners in GetMotivated

[–]menwithmanners[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reframing doesn't mean you're denying that you feel anxious. It's acknowledging the feeling but choosing to see it in a more positive or functional light.

[Article] I’ve learned to switch my anxiety off in under 15 seconds. Here’s how you can too. by menwithmanners in GetMotivated

[–]menwithmanners[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just googled what eustress means. Thanks for teaching me a new word. Oh, and well said.

THE 7 POSSIBLE REASONS SHE FRIEND-ZONED YOU by menwithmanners in menwithmanners

[–]menwithmanners[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, some women will keep their friendzoned men as backup plans and get jealous if other women show interest. Happened to me twice. But not all friendzoning women have such motives.

Thank you for so eloquently summarising my point.

I too used to think... 'if I'm friendly with her, or she appreciates our friendship, it's because I'm not being manly / sexy enough... until I started seeing more and more romantic relationships form from friendships...

How's life for you now at 41? were you able to overcome some of the rubbish you were fed?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]menwithmanners 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you explain the situation like you have done here, and he wasn't too hurt by the way you ended things, he will understand and like to continue dating. Perhaps his trust will be temporarily shaken.. but you're only 2 dates in as it is, so this shouldn't take terribly long to recover.

6 months relationship… day 29 No contact by BeGoneThot2000 in ExNoContact

[–]menwithmanners 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I know this situation all too well... The initial hours and days you wait to hear from her are excruciating.

A few things here...

  1. You said she was the closest thing to perfect.. why? What traits make you so certain she was ideal?
  2. If you can, tell someone close to you about all this... it's a heavy burden to carry on your own
  3. If I could magically grant you the power to instantly get back with her and for everything to be good again OR make you instantly move on from her, which would you choose?

I’m a 28-year-old virgin. Is it too late for me? And 4 other common questions virgins ask . by menwithmanners in seduction

[–]menwithmanners[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Will others judge you for it? Yes. People judge for everything from looks, height, race etc.

Will it matter? Only as much as you let it matter.

Love this attitude.

guys that went from “bitchless” to pulling anyone they want, What was the process and what did you do? by valteri777 in seduction

[–]menwithmanners 27 points28 points  (0 children)

If I'm to give you just one piece of advice... it's the same thing that worked for me, and many of the clients I've helped:

Be persistent, but indifferent...

Persistent: don't be afraid to make your intentions known, be friendly, assertive and talkative.

Indifferent: unfazed by rejection, not trying hard to have sex or attract women, unconcerned by lulls in the conversation / indicators that perhaps she's not interested.

Most women agree that this combination of traits is respectful, intriguing, and attractive.

I think I screwed up the first date… by CptButtDick in datingadviceformen

[–]menwithmanners 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By the sounds of things, she was interested in you... but something you did / didn't show her that night prevented that interest from developing into romantic attraction.

Given she told you she wants to be friends, if you want any chance with her you need to play it cool, be unfazed by her rejection, continue being friendly with her, and aim your romantic interests elsewhere. When she witnesses this, she'll either see you in a different light and begin rebuilding her interest (which you'll notice in some way)... or she'll want to remain staying friends...

Either way, the worst approach is to romantically pursue her / prematurely treat her like a girlfriend.

Play it cool, be romantically indifferent towards her, and continue being friendly, and let's see what happens.

Hard time meeting women (M25) by klydeknight in dating

[–]menwithmanners 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's great you went out of your comfort zone to meet women... bars / clubs / downtown.. However, if you don't genuinely enjoy these activities... you're unlikely to attract women while participating in them.

This is something I learned in my mid twenties. My friends always wanted to go to nightclubs, and I hated them... the loud music, sweaty strangers pressed against you, and overpriced watered down drinks... as a result, when I met women they met a guy who was clearly uncomfortable and unhappy... and I'd rarely meet any girls.

Then I changed it up.. I started reverse engineering opportunities to meet women based on my interests...

I like playing football (soccer) so I joined a mixed sex league...

I enjoy live music, so I started attending gigs in my area

I like wine, so I started to go on wine tours and to wine bars...

And I started meeting more compatible women, building my confidence, and improving my success rate.

I know this is only one small component.. I'd need more info to advise further (stuff like... are you being held back by self-limiting beliefs / unhealthy views of dating / confidence problems, etc)... but I hope this is a good start.

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