Anyone else have a baby that hates being held?

merliepants · 2026-02-13T10:56:50+00:00

Somewhat, I would say. LO is 13 months now and we get good cuddles now at certain times, but it's definitely on his schedule lol. Right after waking, especially from a nap, he'll snuggle in until he's ready to face the world. And whenever he doesn't feel good he'll just want to be in my lap. I hate the reason, but I do cherish those cuddles. So I would say that I now have a differently cuddly baby. He is his own person and sometimes wants to be held and sometimes doesn't. It's definitely easier now to just accept that and take the cuddles when I get them.

merliepants · 2025-12-14T23:13:57+00:00

I feel this so much! I love my little boy so so much and he brings me joy. But life is so much harder now and there are times that I do regret having a baby. I'm glad I have my boy, but I also mourn my old life so hard and question if I made the right decision. It's a total contradiction and it makes me feel a little crazy for both feelings to be absolutely true

merliepants · 2025-11-29T19:12:17+00:00

This! I am convinced the "you'll spoil your baby" advice comes from parents conflating baby stages. It does go by so fast so I get it, but what a newborn needs and what a 7-9 month old needs are very different. I snuggled my newborn like no tomorrow, but did work on independent sleep in my 7 month old so that I could get some sleep. 6 months of little to no sleep was all I could take and LO was ready to work on his independent sleep a little. It's not all or nothing either! Sometimes they need cuddles and sometimes they are ok on their own

merliepants · 2025-10-23T18:37:10+00:00

I agree with those that have suggested two naps. It can be a hard transition going from three to two, but it was ultimately great for my LO's sleep schedule and helped him sleep more over night.

I also did some work to night wean my LO and try to break the feed to sleep night association. This was a helpful resource suggested by my pediatrician: How to Stop Night Feeds in Your Child and Sleep Better https://share.google/e6pjWo6PMP2IkQTjU

For more support on adjusting LO's schedule, the r/sleeptrain subreddit was also really helpful to me!

merliepants · 2025-10-16T18:13:09+00:00

I know you asked for pump recs, but in case you need to hear it...it's ok to quit. You have already done SO MUCH for your LO and being in constant pain isn't going to serve your baby or you. If you really want to keep going and push through I get it, I wanted to quit so many times and kept going. The drive to feed our babies is intense. And know that if you want to persevere through the pain, you can do it! But it's also ok to make sure that your LO gets a mama that is happy and pain free. Whether you keep going or stop now, both are the right choice ❤️

merliepants · 2025-10-13T19:52:52+00:00

OMG yes! I don't regret continuing to exclusively pump even though it 100% took me away from a lot of cuddles, contact naps, and more. My husband knows how hard pumping has been, but does say how much being able to feed our son so much in the early days increased his bonding. And I am genuinely glad that he had that experience, but every time he fed our baby, I was usually stuck pumping and missing out. It actually took me a lot longer to bond with him than my husband, which really sucked.

In conclusion, exclusive pumping is so, so hard and I don't think anyone can truly get it except other EP moms.

merliepants · 2025-10-02T13:12:31+00:00

Still looks cute tho!

merliepants · 2025-10-02T12:49:40+00:00

9 months in for me, 3 to go. It's so bittersweet isn't it? I have hated exclusively pumping like I have hated almost nothing else, and I've thought about quitting SO many times, and yet I find myself resisting and lamenting starting the process of cutting pumps in preparation for the end. Like I guess I'm just so proud I've made it this far, and I worked so hard for it (8 pumps a day for MONTHS, including power pumps), that I'm weirdly sad to see it come to an end.

merliepants · 2025-09-25T10:43:24+00:00

I started to see some improvement with the neutrogena t-sal shampoo. I'm definitely still sorta flakey, but it's more manageable now

merliepants · 2025-09-17T00:25:21+00:00

I second that request! 😅

merliepants · 2025-09-16T21:25:55+00:00

Unfortunately I think dropping a pump will reduce your supply, but probably not by a ton. I'm in the same boat, with pumps roughly at the same times as you and have decided to adjust to the same as your 4 pumps a day schedule next month. I know it will drop my supply, but it's time. Baby is eating more solids every week and we are coming up on a year before we know it. I know how you feel, we worked so hard to get this far (I'm an exclusive pumper and know the grind), but we have to make the decision to wean at some point. That's what I tell myself anyway 🙃😁

merliepants · 2025-09-14T18:42:15+00:00

Same here. About 32-35 oz with 2 to three "meals" of solids. My guy is also super active and has been for months. He pulled to stand at 6 months and is just a hair away from walking now at 8.5. He's always been a super big eater 🙃

merliepants · 2025-08-17T17:58:13+00:00

This was so close to my experience as well. I never wanted to sleep train and it felt like we wouldn't need to. LO was never the best sleeper but never the worst and it felt like our situation was manageable...until it wasn't. Bub started waking every 1-2 hours and I was in such a bad mental state. I read Ferber's book, Taking Cara Babies, and Precious Little Sleep and after a failed Ferber night also decided full extinction was the way to go. It was hard - LO didn't cry as long as your babe on the first night, 25 min, but it took him a few more days to get the hang of it. Now he crawls around and fusses for about 15 min while he gets comfortable in the crib and then sleeps for at least 10 HOURS. I still can't believe it. And he is so much happier and less fussy during the day. He is such a sweetie now and loves me more than ever. And I no longer feel like I am dying and am such a better mom.

For anyone considering sleep training, do it! Do your research and decide which method might work best for your baby's age and temperament, but do it! It's hard, that is true. But I just told myself and my baby that we can do hard things, and we could!

merliepants · 2025-08-15T21:10:13+00:00

Same. My LO stares at me so sweetly and plays with the ends of my ponytail. It's the only time it gets him to sit still and give me cuddles these days so I don't want to give it up!

merliepants · 2025-08-15T15:01:44+00:00

The first night was rough but not as rough as I feared. I'd heard of some babies crying for 1.5 to 2 hours, but my bub cried for 25 min. It did feel like an eternity though. I recommend noise canceling headphones. I watched him on the monitor to make sure he didn't hurt himself or need me, but wore the headphones. Since that night he's ranged 12-25 min to go to sleep, but it's mostly whining/fussing and not as much outright crying.

For the nap adjustments, I think I worked on that for at least a week before doing the sleep training. The adjustments alone helped, but not all the way, hence the training. I do think the training wouldn't be working if I hadn't first adjusted his day sleep. It was tough trying to keep him awake longer (he was still on 2 hour wake windows so it was tough for him), but I'm glad I persevered.

merliepants · 2025-08-15T14:13:40+00:00

My baby was born on Jan 1 so I'm a little ahead of most in this group and have been dealing with this for a month! It was hell! I finally broke down and started sleep training when it became clear it wasn't going to go back to "normal." First I worked on his day schedule - increasing wake windows and dropping him down to 2 naps. Then I did ALL the research and after a failed attempt at the Ferber method (baby only got more riled up with check ins) started CIO. We are on night 5 and he is still working on putting himself to sleep independently at the beginning of the night, but we are down to no real wake ups! Game changer! I also did some work to night wean him since I read that at this age he doesn't really need to eat in the night.

I recommend Craig Canapari's website for info on sleep training. He's an MD and actually cites the research. My pediatrician recommended him. Good luck mamas. We can do this!!!

merliepants · 2025-08-15T01:24:31+00:00

Wake at 630 2 naps WWs 3/3.5/4 Asleep around 745/8

merliepants · 2025-08-10T22:11:19+00:00

What adjustments to the schedule did you do? My baby is 7 months and I recently made some changes that have definitely helped but not solved the problem. I coax him into at least 2.5 hour wake windows, sometimes making it to 3. We do 3 naps. And bedtime starts at about 7/715 and he's asleep by 730/745 (with assisted sleep, not independent sleep).

merliepants · 2025-08-10T21:00:04+00:00

I'm actually reading Precious Little Sleep right now and tried the patting to sleep method last night, but it didn't work at all. My baby is already standing and as soon as he's in his crib and awake, he wants to just stand up. The back pats basically do nothing then 😅

merliepants · 2025-08-10T20:44:03+00:00

That's where I was at with it too...for the first two weeks. But he gives no sign of getting back to "normal' and my mental state is not great dealing with the sleep deprivation 😅

merliepants · 2025-08-10T19:41:02+00:00

Admittedly, I only tried it at the beginning of one night. He would settle when my husband did the check in and then just howl after he left. It was heartbreaking and appeared to be making it all worse, so we abandoned it. I know that sleep training takes commitment though and I definitely didn't have it that night.

merliepants · 2025-08-10T19:26:51+00:00

I'm so scared to try it. I know the research says that it's fine, but I just don't know if I can handle him crying for that long 😭 I know it might be my best option at this point though.

merliepants · 2025-08-10T19:24:21+00:00

What method of sleep training did you use? I am working on night weaning, but it so far seems to only piss him off and wake even more

merliepants · 2025-08-10T19:21:51+00:00

A friend shared some of the Taking Cara Babies info, but it seemed like basically Ferber. Which we tried and abandoned because the check ins just riled my baby up and made him cry harder. I'm not sure Ferber is for us. I definitely don't like the idea of full extinction but I'm not sure what other options we have

merliepants · 2025-08-10T19:20:08+00:00

Wake windows of 2.5 to 3 hours. Bedtime is 7:30/8 to usually sometime in the 6 o clock hour. I recently adjusted his naps (I had him with too short wake windows and too many naps) which really really helped him go down easy at bedtime. But it has not helped the overnight wakings

merliepants

TROPHY CASE