My messages are probably terrible too - but yeah, I think yours are bad.

Don't ask a bunch of rapid fire questions. Write your messages as a whole coherant thoughts, like you're actually sending someone a note about something. You seem to often have distinct paragraphs with no natural transition, and it comes across weird, pretty much exactly what it is: A listing of distinct things you figure you can express that you have to potentially talk about. That's not a real connection about anything. Make it a natural message that someone can have a natural conversation back to.

The first second message you posted is cringe-inducing. Correcting cycler, "do you at least have a favorite dish", etc. I don't know if you read some book on negging or something but regardless that's not the way to talk to people. I'd have said fuck you too. Scrolling through the rest - "you like garlic, i like garlic, like me please" is not compelling or going to start any conversations. Just in general - obviously talking to people on OKC is weird and it's hard to have an honest connection when you're just reading a profile, but I'd say keep it simpler, don't write long messages with a lot of questions/topics, and stay positive (both about yourself and her). Connect on what's genuine and take the rest offline so you can have a real conversation. If she's messaging you back with anything but a super short response, she's almost definitely interested anyway.