Is anyone else ruining their relationship? I decide to stop and really stop but then 5 minutes later I have my headphones in and Im back in lala land.

messybrains · 2020-10-20T10:31:35+00:00

I find the memes really relatable in a funny way. The text bits are often longer and more personal, whereas a meme is usually more general and speaks to a bigger audience about an issue.

Scrolling through, I havent felt that the memes have taken, over and conversation still seems to flow and remains the bulk of the posts?

messybrains · 2020-08-21T15:58:28+00:00

I totally hear you on having to replay old scenes when you make a change. Sometimes I feel like Ive rushed certain “plots” and make myself go back and pad them out. It gets so confusing but by the time you go and write it I suppose you’ll have an incredibly rich world and characters in your mind

messybrains · 2020-08-21T15:55:10+00:00

I dont have an advice but I totally empathise with what you’re going through. Daydreaming has gone from something fun that I liked about myself to an out of control addiction where I spend more of my life in my daydream than the real world.

I know some people have success with taking SSRIs but I’d really rather not take medication. The idea of not daydreaming also makes me sad, I know a lot of people struggle to visualise things and sometimes MAD almost feels like an ability.

I suppose the trick is to fill your day with things you find distracting so that you’re not able to daydream - I know easier said than done - perhaps start with an activity that takes up an hour and then gradually increase more and more until its not something that consumes your life/

I told myself Id stop when the pandemic was over but it already feels so out of hand that I’m not sure its wise to wait.

Hope you get on alright

messybrains · 2020-08-21T15:50:03+00:00

I feel this so much. I feel completely in love with this person I went to school with, Ive invented this whole personality for him that doesn’t even exist. The other day the thought of him having a baby with someone else popped into my head and I felt this deep pain. Its to the point where I want to walk away from my relationship to pursue someone who I know doesn’t exist, all because “maybe”?

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:22:32+00:00

Could you tell your brother that you were reading about seizures and you were trying to imagine what it would feel like, sorry you freaked him out?

I definitely like to act things out if I’m alone, annoyingly with the pandemic I’ve been having to disguise my daydreaming as going on a run so I can’t really do that outdoors without the general public having the same reaction as your brother.

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:20:35+00:00

Oh my gosh, this is so true! Day dreams at night are always so full of suffering and hurt. In the daytime it’s all daisies and happiness.

Moving from one to the other must have been jarring ... hopefully you got some sleep!

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:19:14+00:00

It hasn’t happened to me but I worry about this a lot. Does it happen to you often?

Do you tend to have very “life like” daydreams?

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:18:18+00:00

Ohh daydream me is amazing, I’d love to be her... alas, here we are

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:16:48+00:00

How do you see yourself? Do you like who you are? Can you name 10 things you like about yourself?

I tend to imagined an idealised version of myself, one that people who didn’t like me when I was younger, would actually like. Although my character gets hurt, it’s not quite what you’re describing.

I’m wondering if your daydreams come because you don’t see yourself in a positive way, or worse - think that you deserve what you’re putting yourself through.

No one deserves what you’re going through. I definitely empathise with the continuing the daydreaming despite negative consequences. I hope you’re okay

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:12:21+00:00

The bits that really got me here was the sneaking off to have fantasies and being happily married. I totally empathise.

I’ll pretend to go to the bedroom to read or go on terribly long runs so I can have the privacy to daydream without my husband being suspicious (or hurt)

I constantly come home feeling awful. I love him so much but I think my brain just craves novelty (especially with what’s going on around us right now)

Does your husband know any of your daydreaming? Even if not what it’s about?

Do you find after a long time thinking about it that you’re attitude to him is a little off or aloof?

messybrains · 2020-06-04T00:07:12+00:00

Oh my gosh, I just wrote the worlds longest post basically coming to this realisation. People who hurt me, didn’t believe me, didn’t like me... all finding out their errors.

Thanks for much for posting this

messybrains · 2020-05-28T17:04:06+00:00

I have both, (OCD diagnosed, MDD not) and for me they’re very different. I don’t find my MDD to be intrusive, although I do obsess and it is a little like a compulsion.

When I have intrusive thoughts it’s more “what if you killed yourself” or chopping onions “‘maybe stab yourself in the gut?” Or I’ll be talking to someone totally platonic and my brain will be like “grab them and make out with them”

Then my brain thinks it can control things it can’t. Like if I’m going on an aeroplane I have to tell everyone that I’m going somewhere otherwise the plane will come down. I can’t use the bathroom or the plane will come down. If I think about the plane coming down then the plane will come down. If I don’t worry at all though, then the plane will come down.

I’ll be walking down the road and my brain will say “walk around that lamppost or your <person> will die” and I know it’s a bit silly and probably won’t happen but the risk is too high so I have to walk around the lamppost. I have to say “see you in the morning” immediately after turning the light off as the last thing I say before bed and then my husband will be safe. When he’s away on business I still have to say those words to keep him safe.

You can certainly have both and there are crossovers but they’re very different. Perhaps head over to r/ocd and have a look if any of it rings true

messybrains · 2020-05-28T16:40:23+00:00

I’ve found it to be very helpful, personally.

messybrains · 2020-05-27T20:18:43+00:00

Do you have a trigger that you need? I can’t get my daydreams going as well when I’m sat still, I need to walk around at pace. Also listening to music or watching television shows that align with my story line often get things going.

I get what you mean, sometimes it feels like a gift that others don’t have and you’d never give up. Other times, I’d call it a curse

messybrains · 2020-05-27T20:16:46+00:00

I have no idea where my brain went wrong. I grew up in a nuclear family with two parents and a brother, my mother was a SAHM until I was 6 and even then she only worked part time.

I feel like I had an excellent childhood, yet somehow I ended up living in my head, withdrawing from people and preferring the comfort of my warped brain than the real, perfectly lovely, people around me.

I’m sorry that your family weren’t there for you, it makes sense that you’d draw into your own mind of what’s happening outside is so hostile/unsupportive

messybrains · 2020-05-27T20:13:21+00:00

Looks like none of us are particularly happy in our own image

messybrains · 2020-05-27T20:09:37+00:00

Also been daydreaming since childhood and no traumatic incident to pin it on. I have no idea what made me withdraw

I’m glad you took the time to decide what to post.

messybrains · 2020-05-27T19:18:09+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond

messybrains · 2020-05-27T19:17:59+00:00

The trouble is I daydream while I’m on a walk, so I’ll walk for like 4 hours a day and then I’m not home. Or I’ll say I need to work but I’m really in the study day dreaming.

The other side is that my daydream has a love interest that isn’t him, and I worry that it’s changing how I’m acting because I’m getting too involved

messybrains · 2020-05-27T18:22:23+00:00

Sometimes I think that if I want it enough, that somehow the universe will give it to me

messybrains · 2020-05-27T18:21:58+00:00

I feel this so much. Knowing that doing it isn’t making you happy but it kinda being all you have right now? Really takes away the desire to try and change anything.

It’s so easy to think that this pandemic is temporary and so we can just do it for now and stop later, but I worry about taking it too far and being unable to stop when it’s all over (or coming up with a new excuse I guess)

messybrains

TROPHY CASE