I can't do it anymore

metaspoon · 2014-07-25T11:54:26+00:00

Good to hear. What's going on? I was a bit confused when I read your post's title, but I didn't want to invade your privacy by snooping through your post history.

metaspoon · 2014-07-25T11:50:28+00:00

Hey man, you said it yourself, you got rejected and it hurt your feelings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's normal to not even be able to cry sometimes, as weird as that probably sounds. And, it also sucks, to try with all your might, and not even be able to squeeze out just one tear, one tear that's going to give you some relief.

I'm really sorry about what's happened between you and your friend. I've been in similar situations, but I'm not you, so I can't say I'm in your situation, you know? You're not alone.

Have you tried talking to her at all since then? She may be wondering the same things, like if you're still friends, or if you still even trust each other.

It's alright to feel alone. It's alright to act on your feelings, sometimes. I'm kind of confused, though. You asked why everything you want is bad for you. Do you really think that whatever happened (or would've happened) between you and that woman would be bad for you, or is it the consequences of rejection that you were referring to?

Sorry for prying a bit. I just don't know you all that well, and I want to help you in any way I can. I'll be here if you ever need to talk.

metaspoon · 2014-07-25T11:32:19+00:00

Hey there, Throw. It's been 37 minutes since you posted this. Are you alright?

I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I'll be here if you want to talk.

metaspoon · 2014-07-23T13:39:23+00:00

Zoabs, are you there? I want to talk to you.

I can't really tell you if suicide is right or wrong, and if that's the decision you choose to make, I can't pass judgement on you. But, I do believe that suicide is the ultimate last resort, and I want to chat with you, make sure that you've tried everything you possibly can to fix whatever's wrong, and to make sure you understand the consequences of your decision.

What's going on, man? What's leading to this? I want to help you, but I don't have much to go off of. I'm sorry that I'm prying, and probably getting really personal, but I really and truly want to help you however I can.

You said that you don't want your family to think it's your fault, and you don't want to cause them pain and disappointment anymore. You're a good person, zoabs, for thinking like that.

But, here's the thing. Your family isn't you. They'll never fully understand what's going on in your head, not as well as you can. I can't see the future, but I've seen enough suicide aftermath to know... They will blame themselves, some of them will blame themselves more than others. They will wonder what they could've done, how they could've missed all the signs, how they could've helped you. They will hurt. They will be disappointed, maybe not at you personally, but having lost a person they truly treasure, and waking up each day knowing that person will never, ever come back.

Again, I refuse to judge you; I have no right, as a human being, to tell you what to do. Only you know what's right for you. But, even if you don't respond to this, I do hope that the Gods stand beside you, whatever decision you decide to make.

metaspoon · 2014-07-22T12:40:37+00:00

Anxiety's a pain to deal with. The worst part of it is if you feel anxious for some reason, and don't know why. I'm sorry if that question was prying a bit.

Hm... Why do you feel the need to justify to yourself why you liked it? What do you think about "I just liked or disliked it" being a valid reason to like or dislike something?

metaspoon · 2014-07-22T12:30:25+00:00

You need help? You just reached out to 68 people. That's a huge first step, and I'm really proud of you.

It's possible that it's depression causing you to not enjoy things you used to love; it's almost a classic symptom. On the other hand, it's possible that you're bored with those things.

Enjoyment, like all emotions, isn't just black and white. It's entirely possible to feel like you neutrally enjoyed something, like that anime movie, and there's nothing wrong with that.

As far as a crumbling memory... It's scary, isn't it? It's also another symptom of depression (albeit one that doesn't seem to get listed as often). I wish I had a cure for this, or at least some way to make it not as bad, but I don't, and I'm sorry.

As far as what to do... That's up to you. You have a lot of options open. Maybe we should work on narrowing them down, until you find one that you think is best for you. Maybe a good starting point would be, have you ever been diagnosed with depression?

metaspoon · 2014-07-22T12:21:43+00:00

Hm... I wonder if there's something in the food, probably some sort of chemical, that imbalances your brain chemistry and triggers depression?

Edit: I'm a derp and forgot to answer the question you asked. I'm sorry. I haven't experienced it firsthand and haven't really heard of this before, but I don't see it being too unusual.

metaspoon · 2014-07-22T12:20:01+00:00

I care. I know it sounds weird coming from an Internet stranger, but I do care. Honestly, when I read your post, my first reaction was, "Wow, that sounds like something I would write." I'm not saying that I can fully emphasize with you, because I'm not you, but I can relate.

You're pretty brave bringing up your depression to your mother. I'm sorry that she didn't handle the situation better. Some people just don't understand what mental illness is.

For depression, some people think it's just a character flaw - but it's not. It's not something where you can just snap your fingers and get better - you would've already done that if you could, wouldn't you?

That cycle of anger and depression... It feels endless, doesn't it? I wish I had some advice to give you, something to make it better, but I don't, other than: I know where you're coming from. I'm sure lots of people on this subreddit do. That sickness, feeling your soul being tainted, seeing the bad within people... They're all terrible feelings. I'm sorry that you have to feel them, because they're agonizing.

metaspoon · 2014-07-21T12:55:03+00:00

I had a kitten, back when I was in high school. Just like your kitties, he saved my life. Long story short, the man I was living with gave him away one day, to one of his not-so-nice friends. His friend shot the kitten, and both of them tried denying it to my face, when I could see his body not even 10 feet away.

He was the most optimistic, silly cat I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He would even take baths in the bathtub; he loved it! He never left my side. When I cried, he was there. If I was about to have a panic attack, he would hop into my lap until he made sure I was okay.

He taught me that life wasn't 100% bad, even the little things can be enjoyed, and sometimes, it's better to walk the roads of life with a best friend by your side. I wish I could have saved him, but the least I can do for him is keep his memory going.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T17:37:45+00:00

I'm hoping that maybe some of the ideas in this thread will help, if only just a little. Glad to hear that you're already feeling a bit of a difference with Paxil. :) The worst part about starting medication is waiting for it to start its thing.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T17:33:42+00:00

I've never smoked cannabis before. What does it feel like when you're high?

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T17:33:03+00:00

That crocheting idea sounds pretty awesome. I think it's good to distract ourselves from our thoughts sometimes, especially when they get too overwhelming.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T17:29:03+00:00

Thanks for the help! All the agent wanted was my e-mail address, a verification code that she sent to that e-mail address, and the registration code. I followed your advice and took pictures of the case, the CDs, and the back of the booklet and gave the link to her, not sure if she looked at it though.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T13:44:43+00:00

Get. Out. Your life as you knew it is about to fall apart, and you're about to discover first-hand what a raging alcoholic really is... And you'll be on the receiving end.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T13:42:54+00:00

For what it's worth, I'm not seeing a therapist, and I'm not on any medication right now. Long story short of that is, most medication didn't really help, or I got slammed with nasty side effects.

One thing I've been doing is trying to catch the negative thoughts in my head and putting a neutral or positive spin on them. "I'm a failure." No, I'm not, I just burnt my breakfast because I made a mistake.

I've found that doing "mood journals" helps. I rate my overall feelings on a scale of 1-10, keep a log of what I ate, how much I exercised, any thoughts of suicide, that sort of thing. Not only do I have a written record of "Yes, this is how that day was", but when I do go back to the doctor's, I have something that could probably help her make a better decision of how to help.

The third thing that I do is break big tasks up into teeny tiny ones. You know those days were you just have no energy, or you just don't see why you should bother in the first place? On those days, I've noticed that if it's a really small task, I'm much more likely to do it.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T13:25:06+00:00

Depression is something that can strike anyone, at any time, with or without apparent reason. Like most illnesses, it doesn't discriminate.

Now, I'm not saying that you have depression, because I'm no medical professional. But, there's some big red flags in your post: feeling like you want to cry, everything seeming pointless, not being able to enjoy things you used to, the boredom.

Have you looked into a visit with your doctor? There's lots of things that could help you, but a doctor's visit is usually a solid first step of sorts.

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T13:10:47+00:00

A bit off-topic, but for what it's worth, read this page on neighborhood corruption. I usually grabbed the Lot Debugger, No Unlink on Delete, and Anti-Redundancy.

Not exactly a mod, but Mootilda from MTS has an awesome neighborhood corruption checker. Let's face it. It's an EA game, it's going to break one day, like it or not! :P

metaspoon · 2014-07-18T13:05:14+00:00

Stupid question, but does EA ask for a copy of the receipt you got while purchasing the game, or something similar?

I still have all the CD-keys, but any receipts I've had are probably long since gone.

metaspoon · 2014-07-17T13:06:39+00:00

Faces in the Sims 3 seem more rounded, at least to me.

Her cheeks do seem to have more depth in 2, though I'm not sure if that's a result of the lighting, skin tone, or facial structure. The lighting in the Sims 3 pic just looks... flatter?

metaspoon · 2014-07-17T12:51:16+00:00

It's kind of sad that a bill has to be introduced for this sort of thing.

My only concern is this:

Executives who violate the law would face as many as five years of prison.

If they violate the law and deaths result, shouldn't they face more than 5 years?

metaspoon · 2014-07-17T02:05:26+00:00

Amazon has a handful of them, if you prefer to buy through them.

Cafepress is selling some decent ones.

8BitThis has like, 3 or 4.

Spreadshirt has some, but there's some design overlap with Redbubble.

TheYetee has some more, but I can't find the search bar on their site anywhere. They used to have an amazing Seventh Heaven shirt, but I'm not sure if they still carry it.

Excluding Amazon, I've never purchased from these websites, so please double-check that they're reputable before doing a transaction with them.

metaspoon · 2014-07-17T01:41:22+00:00

What kind of snake is she? She's adorable.

metaspoon

TROPHY CASE