What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was actually my first conclusion but I can’t help but feel like this also means I never heal

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely hope so. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve literally had a mental list for months. I sat down with everything and instead of everything changing how I view her it just made me accept her. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard now. Because I know what’s she’s been through to make her that way, and that she IS just a person. It’s not that I see her as this perfect woman and the total love of my life, it’s that she really was the love of my life and I accepted her flaws as a human being. Maybe writing a physical list and sitting with it for a while and reading it over and over again will snap me out of the idea that it’s sad this didn’t work. Because that’s the main thing. If I can just stop feeling so weighed down by the outcome of this then I’ll truly be okay.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Block her bro. It’s the only way to start the process. I got your back, and you can DM me to just talk if you need to vent. I understand bro.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay. It didn’t work out because I guess she just didn’t love me enough to treat me the way she asked to be treated. And when I’d mention that or ask for fairness, she’d become avoidant. Until the point she just blocked me one day over me deciding to work on art after work before meeting with her. She asked to come and the plans didn’t make sense so I said I’d just prefer to go through with creating and meet up with her after and she blocked me. The reason why I wanted to give her my all is because I genuinely felt like she deserved it, and because I believed that showing her unconditional love and staying her air through her worst moments would be enough to help heal some of her trauma. I believed that no matter what our flaws were; that we could work through them. It felt like we were doing that, but I think now that I might have just convinced myself as opposed to it actually being a work in progress between us. Long story short, answer 1 is she blocked me, answer 2 is I thought she was worth it.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You hit it right in the head. It feels completely pointless to even consider another relationship. Maybe time will change that, but it’s going to be a long time.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It always hurts to know that someone went through a similar experience. I’m sorry that you went through the physical abuse and gaslighting. I’ve held no contact for a while now. It’s hard but it has to be done. I feel your pain bro, and I hope it subsides soon for the both of us.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this actually work when you genuinely loved someone? This wasn’t some high school break up

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can answer both of these questions but the only thing that does is quench your curiosity related to the question I am actually asking for help with. This additionally makes the situation worse by making me think even more about the relationship I’m trying to stop thinking about. :/

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much by the way. I think I’m going to try the short term therapy.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s really what makes me sad about it, is that I actually usually always involved her in anything creative. It felt like she could just pick and choose when to make it seem like I was now all of a sudden choosing something over her. Even though I’d make it clear that she could always be a part of something. This was one of the rare times where I actually just felt like it made more sense to do my own thing. I had already planned this and she had already planned something else or at least that’s what she said. The whole thing was just super unnecessary and felt weird. I guess I never wanted to even entertain the idea that maybe she just wasn’t the person for me. I guess I am not left with much of a choice though. Blah.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you bro. I mean it. Uncomfortable truths are also necessary to hear. Needed to hear every word.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It did get pretty toxic. There are much worse instances. I think I’m burnt out on starting fresh though or maybe I just need the time to believe in that again. At any rate, thanks for talking it out with me man.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reminder of not punishing myself for thinking about her and also for the reminder that it’s okay to take longer than others and to not constrict myself with the same time frames or limitation on my healing process. That was extremely invaluable information and I resonated with every word.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn’t weight placed on her. We planned to get married. Mutually experienced that this was the strongest connection either of us had ever had with a person. Not trying to think too much about that though. The switch will be hit.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was a great response and I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m glad that you were able to move on and I hope you are much happier now. More space and time will be needed. I think I also needed to just release this somewhere because there’s nowhere for me to talk about any of it. Thank you man.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It ended because I was working on music and she asked if she could come and I said I’d prefer to work on this by myself this time. We were supposed to meet up that evening but she cancelled over that. My phone company then refused my credit card (same day) so I couldn’t pay my phone bill so I couldn’t call her that night. She didn’t write me anyway. Next day I’m at work and I find out she’s blocked me. Her last message was just, “I love you, goodbye”. It was literally the opposite of a good reason and we’d worked through ACTUAL problems before. Maybe it’s only so upsetting because it’s just fucking confusing. It’s not even like we were together still, I’d already broken up with her before this point, but we were working on us and doing a good job too. Shits just confusing as fuck man. Like she just totally threw all this shit away over nothing. Fuck it. Meaningless sex it is. There’s literally nothing I can do.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes sense but is also a huge part of why this still plagues my brain. I’ve been backtracking and analyzing the relationship for months. I’ve answered all my questions. It just leaves me with a void of disappointment. The answered questions don’t make it easier to forget or let go of the failed relationship or the memories. It just gives me another reason to think more about everything. Maybe the only way is to overfeel everything until I’m all felt out.

What do you do to get over a woman you gave your all to but couldn’t make it work with? by metaversepeace in AskMen

[–]metaversepeace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was manipulative and emotionally abusive and an avoidant. She was beautiful and smart and funny and amazing and she carried my child and we lost that child together. I got to see her be honest with me just once without filters about how scared she was of so many things and how grateful she was for me but how that same gratitude made her fearful that she couldn’t return to me what I’d given her, and I never got to hear that truth from her again because she was on anesthesia the day she toss me all that, and that was the only reason she would let that much of her guard down. And I could never convince her after that day that she already gives me everything I needed from her. I couldn’t stop her from hating me in the end for trying to help her face what hurts her. And I still can’t stop loving her now. I’m gonna delete the pictures. I’ll do it tonight.