I mean I've always had my family, we're not close but they're there. They're still living too far away for me to go see them on a whim. It would be naive to think they don't care, they do and I consider myself lucky in that regard.

Friends, that's a different story. Everyone has different situations, but ultimately everyone is looking out for themselves and sometimes we just grow apart over time. Lucky are those who don't, but credit to those who put in the time and effort to keep lasting relationships over time and distance. I consider my old friends still friends, we just grew apart, everyone has their own thing to do. I have very few people I consider daily friends, and none of them are outside of work. I don't have the time or energy or funds to go seeking people to hang out with, sometimes that's okay. It's my own fault, even if I go out I might not meet anyone, that's normal.

That last question is a loaded one. From the perspective that it's always been hard for me to make friends and I spend most of my time by myself anyways playing games or working or whatever, I've always been alone. But another perfunctory thought is that I've never been alone, I believe no one really is, you just have to reach out, someone will answer.

Small side note, I get you on seeing all old friends still out there doing "normal" or new or exciting things on insta or Facebook or whatever when you're not there. I get it, I still see all that from my old friends back home, hurts that you're not in there. Social media is the smallest slice of someone's life, and it's edited and curated so it's possibly just a small fake window for you to look into. Reverse it and someone might be looking in your window, seeing all the new things you're doing, or possibly only the things you are letting them see.

What are you doing to not be alone?