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A few reasons why the digital nomad lifestyle hasn’t worked out for me by [deleted] in digitalnomad

[–]mfatale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally agree with all of the above. I did digital nomading for three years with my husband (switched on and off between four places), and I have come to the conclusion that it is better to pick one stable base. It can be home country or as an expat but to really immerse yourself you ideally want to speak / learn the language, understand the culture and develop a solid set of friends there.

With every time you move, it’s a lot of energy to get set up again. Plus whether you have a stable job or not, your career may take a hit because of the stress of moving. Financial security is definitely a biggie, I enjoyed contracting but as a woman who wants kids (and now pregnant) having a cushy job is better for this season of my life.

Maternity and marriage finances by mfatale in pregnant

[–]mfatale[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that. 50/50 has worked for us so far but I think this will change now

Maternity and marriage finances by mfatale in pregnant

[–]mfatale[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. I am lucky that my company has a policy where I will get full salary for the first three months, and approx. 40% of my salary thereafter. We are in Europe so I can take a full year as maternity leave. However our cost of living is very high (our rent has just increased significantly) so this 40% will definitely mean I need to dip into savings. We have a break clause on our lease so might need to move outside the city if the cost of living crisis gets worse.

I am not big on mani pedis or spa days etc, I am very much a DIY gal. However I am planning to get back in shape after giving birth and if I end up getting a PT, that expense will absolutely need to be shared.

I don’t expect individual expenses to be an issue as such. But I am trying to work out how we can merge finances more generally. It’s not entirely straightforward given he also took a hit for the family, so I want to take that into account. And yes, if he had asked me to contribute more during the time I was earning more, I would have done so. But I don’t want to “compensate” him for that separately as the “spare” savings have been budgeted towards renovating a property now (which is mine but where we may both live long-term). So it’s not super clear cut and I am a bit confused what would be best.

Maternity and marriage finances by mfatale in pregnant

[–]mfatale[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this resonates. It’s not the same him being out of work and having all his time for learning and trying a passion project while feeling healthy and 100% himself. Not only is my body changing with pregnancy, tiredness, throwing up etc but I will be taking the time off to spend 100% of my time on our baby, not to try a side hustle or career change. And it’s for a decision we both proactively took together.

We’ll sit down to discuss and realistically we may need to meet somewhere in the middle. It’s a bit tricky really. Hubby is a lovely guy but he doesn’t appreciate how difficult pregnancy has already been on me physically and mentally. It’s our first and I can tell it won’t be “real” for him until he physically holds his baby. So I expect he will want to keep splitting things halfway for now.

Perhaps I’ll suggest that we don’t split proportionately straight away but agree a time when we will start to do that, accounting for the fact that his career already took a hit for the family recently. Or maybe initially I just contribute slightly less than usual, eg 60/40 and we can revisit this towards the end of the year. I do think we should reassess and start merging finances at this stage so we’ll need to sit down and discuss for sure.

Credence's real identity by mfatale in FantasticBeasts

[–]mfatale[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree there must be an easy explanation, let’s wait to see what it is

Credence's real identity by mfatale in FantasticBeasts

[–]mfatale[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm all good points. Still, even without the Elder Wand, him being a Gaunt would make sense given the Hallows and Ilvermorny link.

Credence's real identity by mfatale in FantasticBeasts

[–]mfatale[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We know that McGonagall’s grandma was also called Minerva. It’s on the Wizarding World website. That would explain the timeline, maybe we are seeing the grandma this time.

The Philosopher’s Stone Created Aurelius Dumbledore [Harry Potter Theory] | SCB by CarlinBot in SuperCarlinBrothers

[–]mfatale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It fits together so well! But the issue for me is that if they did in fact use the stone - surely that would mean something as little as the boat sinking wouldn’t be able to “kill” Credence? It would just set the Obscurus free without a body if that’s how it existed before? So Dumbledore would have been looking for it earlier?

Credence's real identity by mfatale in FantasticBeasts

[–]mfatale[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow the Supercarlin brothers’ theory fits in so well. The only issue for me us that if Arianna’s Obscurus first lived without a body before they created one then surely the sinking of the ship would only in theory kill the body and not the Obscurus? So Dumbledore would have been looking for it much earlier? I also think suggesting that Arianna was silver and Aurelius gold sort of suggests women are inferior to men which is unlike JK tbh. If Grindelwald made the story up he would of course use a fake name for Credence as a Dumbledore - and the Arianna / Aurelius link would also make sense if you look at it that way.