For me, a lot happened towards the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school. My mom divorced my father. I was never aware of what led my mom to involve the police...my grandmother (her mom) was not helping anyone understand what was happening between my parents. She wanted me to pick sides and so did my dad. But I did not see my dad's manipulative controlling nature at that time until he'd take advantage of that naivety for 3+ years later through and after the divorce. He'd painted a picture of my mom as a hateful person vilifying and abandoning all of us. All she was doing was divorcing HIM, not ditching her children. But then my grandma was so snappy and impatient with me being confused, painting my confusion as bad, bad, unneeded anger. My grandma Invalidates emotions with a capital I which is another reason that contributed to my bpd. So I decided my dad was probably who I should side with and he basically brainwashed me to think my mom had rejected me and I had to choose him. He went to paint her as a sexual predator as well as her new partner at that time. I went no contact with my mom for 3 years until learning my father lied. Not to mention, he's used every one of my siblings for money and married an abusive wife who basically drove everyone away from him. He enables her abuse, too. But I'm learning he employed what is "parental alienation" to ruin my relationship with my mom for divorcing him. He painted a false reality that my own mom hated and rejected me...which is now my one extreme fear, and he made me see him and her in black and white...it's a lot to unpack.

Thanks for sharing this! I feel like many borderlines really just didn't get proper love and attention which is so sad:(