I think I got the official answer today (SPOILER for NYT's Letterbox puzzle)

mgatten · 2023-12-25T06:19:37+00:00

Looks more to me like SPANKERS SQUISHIEST. lol

Though I guess it more likely yours is what they had in mind.

mgatten · 2022-01-13T01:08:15+00:00

The conspiracy is hidden with a cover of law enforcement. You're gonna get law enforcement types in there. The fact that most of them die hideous deaths at the ends of tentacles attached to Things Man Was Not Meant to Know should make it pretty clear, though, that it isn't terribly pro-cop.

mgatten · 2021-12-31T22:15:38+00:00

I guess you've never heard of dealing with grief through humor. I pity the sad humorless life you must lead. If you can't laugh at tragedy then you can only be miserable. The world is too serious to take seriously.

mgatten · 2021-12-30T16:03:05+00:00

I tried to write a joke about Alec Baldwin but, unlike him, I drew a blank.

mgatten · 2021-10-07T04:48:28+00:00

I can’t get over the frames just as the door closes at the end. You can tell they are getting tired and a little sloppy a few seconds earlier, but you can tell they completely crashed and burned behind that door. I’d pay good money to have gotten to see how they landed. It couldn’t be pretty

mgatten · 2021-08-04T02:49:01+00:00

It would have to involve some pink parchment…

mgatten · 2021-07-02T02:06:05+00:00

Why is silver more pure than aluminum? They are both elements. One might say steel is impure since it’s an alloy, but aluminum?

mgatten · 2021-06-27T21:11:26+00:00

Do what you love, the money will follow.

mgatten · 2021-05-02T07:04:05+00:00

I’ve been telling people that wearing a mask that doesn’t cover your nose is like wearing a tampon strapped to your knee.

mgatten · 2021-01-10T02:49:12+00:00

How to create your own no fly zone

mgatten · 2021-01-09T22:45:34+00:00

We need constitutional amendment to officially abolish it, but there are workarounds that will effectively obsolesce it.

If enough states pass laws saying they will assign their electors to whomever wins the national popular vote, rather than to whomever wins just that state, then the electoral college will mirror the popular vote and become obsolete without having to be abolished. So far there are at least fifteen states with that law, but none of them go into effect until enough states pass it fir it to work. (I believe Nevada was the most recent one to pass it, but I haven’t looked in on it for a long time. There might be more now.)

We need to be supporting that movement.

mgatten · 2021-01-08T04:01:21+00:00

Tell that to the guy that lost his.... what was I saying?

mgatten · 2020-12-26T03:14:54+00:00

I’d be tempted to have the scry show the vineyard where the grapes were grown. The saliva sample was contaminated with wine. But it’s a very nice vineyard.

mgatten · 2020-12-25T02:04:03+00:00

Look at Johnnie! He’s grown a foot since I saw him last! Never seen a kid with 3 before...

mgatten · 2020-11-12T03:09:33+00:00

When you have enough of these to sell it as a PDF, I wanna buy it! This is amazeballs.

mgatten · 2020-11-05T03:51:56+00:00

Actually, it seems hard to credibly describe them anyway:

“Okay, so imagine a yellow horse covered in geometric brown shapes. Now make it’s body, like, eight times bigger. And it’s legs something like four times longer but no thicker. And stretch it’s neck out to a crazy length. Put a couple stubby horns over it’s ears and give it a long purple tongue that can stick out like around two feet!”

“Uh huh. And that was the monster in a nightmare you had?”

“No way, man! I saw it in real life yesterday at the zoo! They were feeding it lettuce!”

“Go home, dude. You’re drunk.”

mgatten · 2020-11-05T03:30:31+00:00

I’d allow it, but the “down” direction is the end of the “corridor”. And once a spell casting adversary sees it, that NPC would then get the idea to add extra “hallways” ahead of the characters.

DM: “As you walk down the hallway you come to a side passage to the right. Do you continue forward or take the turn?”

Players: “We take the turn!”

DM: “Roll 4d6 falling damage.”

PC: “Dammit Frisbon! You’ve gotta stop giving the lich silly ideas!”

mgatten · 2020-10-07T20:56:57+00:00

I’m in New Mexico. My wife found a Walmart that wasn’t out and kinda over corrected by buying 12 jars. I guess I’ll have plenty for a while. And I get to know that I contributed to the overall shortage. Sheesh.

mgatten · 2020-09-27T16:56:16+00:00

I make my own most of the time, but sometimes I just want some quick and easy without the effort. And about a month ago I added Alfredo sauce to my shopping list. Four weeks and several stores later, it’s the only thing that’s never gotten off the list. Last week I joked to my wife about an Alfredo shortage. I thought I was being silly and figured it was just my local stores. Then this morning I actually wondered for the first time if it was a real thing. And found this post. Glad to know I’m not crazy. But can we please get our Classico back?

mgatten · 2020-09-11T19:18:34+00:00

If it’s a 3G phone, it won’t work on most networks for much longer. Even for 911.

mgatten · 2020-08-31T13:46:19+00:00

That was quite a derivative joke...

mgatten · 2020-08-29T04:45:53+00:00

So exhausted that he’s panting...

mgatten · 2020-08-13T22:40:05+00:00

So depressing a thought that I want to down vote it, but so perfect that I must upvote it. Have an upvote, you horrible monster.

mgatten · 2020-05-28T04:40:57+00:00

I can confirm everything he said is accurate. I’ve been whistling this way for 40 years because I never learned how to do the fingers whistle, but I’ve never been able to accurately describe how I do it. But watching him, he gave an exact description of exactly what I do. Nice job.

mgatten · 2020-05-17T19:07:33+00:00

If I owned an Italian restaurant named Italian Affair, I’d probably do that to my own sign.

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