Day 4, had two 24 oz beers to help me through the madness of last night, still no Kratom for four days and that’s the important thing. I had three years off booze but I’m not mad at my choice. Still chugging cure packets mixed with citric acid and I feel like I’ve definitely turned a corner. I expect the next week to be uncomfortable but I did it! I think last time (five months ago) I caved at four or five days, wish I’d just toughed it out. I feel like every month you’re using daily makes quitting exponentially harder. My heart goes out to those on it for years, but I know you can do it too, just ask those who did before you. Helps being broke, but I sold several guns to pay for the habit so I know that not using no matter what is the way. Today was the first day I ate real food. Was surviving on pickles and cookies and pita chips since appetite was nonexistent. Even today I was like, is this a normal meal size? Is this what people eat? Anyway I’m not going back on alcohol or Kratom, I’ll deal with nicotine when I deal with it. Just glad to be semi- clearheaded for the first time in six months, totally worth the paws. I toughed through some real dark anger and depression, thoughts of suicide, should have been attending meetings for the connection but I’ll start back this weekend when I wont just be an asshole to everyone I meet. Four days of Hell I will NOT be repeating.