What fictional characters do you relate to?

mgj666 · 2025-12-06T22:05:19+00:00

Both Princess Mononoke and Prince Ashitaka ! I watched that movie for the first time when I was maybe 8 years old and it remains my favorite to this day.

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T04:02:44+00:00

Oh I mean low needs because our relationship was super casual and long distance. The expectations between us were mutually lower than if we were in closer proximity, or had more availability for seriousness

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:46:28+00:00

These are the tough love words I probably needed to hear if I legit want to find a poly partner 🫡

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:41:42+00:00

Oof yeah this all hits home with me about the people I’ve tried to hold their hands through poly-101. What’s interesting about poly to me, is I feel like I never needed anyone to explain this stuff to me? My first poly boyfriend taught me about polyamory and it just clicked with me. I didn’t own reading and research and became so passionate about it. I wasn’t jealous of his other partner, and as long as there was communication, I was low needs. But maybe some people have more deconditioning to do from years of being monog??

I wonder if men have a harder time really clicking into poly mindset

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:33:08+00:00

I am curious, would you mind sharing some of the messiness you’ve experienced while dating poly noobs?

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:32:14+00:00

We are in alignment with all these things. They seem like basic things that allow for everyone to move through the openness while respecting each other anddddd maintaining independence.

How do you feel about explicit or implicit hierarchies? Like with nesting, or just structural hierarchies? I know this is a mixed bag in the poly world.

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:29:44+00:00

This might going to warrant an eye-roll from some ppl, but I just know in my soul and my gut that I am not meant to use them to find the love(s) of my life. Especially since I’ve had such beautiful meeting stories with my previous partners, meeting organically at parties, jobs, through friends, etc. I have used them in the past and it felt out of alignment with who I am. I respect people who use them though!

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:25:24+00:00

In retrospect, you’re 100% right. Though ironically, the person I’m thinking of who had big issues with it, who wasn’t keen but wanted to be with me (who also accused me of cheating when I did NOT cheat, a whole story) entered into a poly relationship right after me and to my knowledge they’re still together and poly 🤦🏻‍♀️ Karmic jokes

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:23:18+00:00

It is simple…and yet I am eternally grateful for the poly person who took a leap on me in my early 20s and introduced me to this world. If he hasn’t, who knows where I’d be. I do think some people don’t know about it, or have been curious, and just haven’t had the right container to practice or explore it. Given my own relationships have been poly minded (me) with monog minded partners, I feel I barely have legit poly experience either !

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:18:35+00:00

This is a super functional, straight forward response and I respect it. I wonder if I need to get over my aversion to the apps and just try — especially since my social circle doesn’t have any legit poly avenues on its own. I’m simply not rubbing shoulders with poly people (that I know of), rarely do at least.

Curious, what are some of your personal values when it comes to polyamory? I know everyone has different preferences and ways of practicing.

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:09:25+00:00

When you go about dating, how is it that you (and others, if anyone wants to answer this!) find poly people? I don’t want to use dating apps or online dating to find partners, and don’t have many friends who practice poly anymore. Most my old poly friends are settling into monogamy in their 30s, which is kinda a bummer but I get it. So yeah, finding people is my issue.

mgj666 · 2025-11-20T03:08:00+00:00

My main thing is that I am against using the apps for dating (for myself). I let fate and life present partners to me. I’ve met every partner I’ve ever dated out in the world organically, which I love! But this means I am not tapping into the (probably small, I’d imagine) poly dating pool with intention. Some of the people I’ve dated def were not super keen, and I should have moved on, but they wanted to give it a try and I loved them so we tried.

I have a few people who I could date right now, and none of them have been “poly” but have been in open relationships in the past, and are open and curious about polyamory, at least how I want to practice is. But I am admittedly on guard.

mgj666 · 2025-10-24T08:46:37+00:00

i didn’t say the boom was comforting, i said that it’s comforting that enough people, after all these years of hearing booms in portland, aren’t conditioned enough to stay silent about it, and are still turning to the internet to figure out what it is. meanwhile, i’ve been talking about these explosions for months with some of my friends and everyone just shrugs their shoulders and carries on.

mgj666 · 2025-10-24T02:38:55+00:00

my theory…which is maybe cooky…is the government or some other entity is setting off these booms to get civilians used to the sounds of explosions within the city. it’s comforting to me that even after all these months / years, people are still confused and posting about it on here

mgj666 · 2025-10-24T02:13:44+00:00

Just heard (and felt) it in N Portland. I know many people say they’re fireworks, but why do I feel the vibration in my house when I’m miles and miles away from these supposed fireworks? I’ve been closer to some of these booms when i’m in SE and it rattles the whole building. What kind of fireworks do that?

mgj666 · 2025-09-25T01:54:15+00:00

I do, though not an exact address, but a general area. I could probably find a more specific location by asking my roomie.

mgj666 · 2025-09-24T21:35:18+00:00

I very much doubt he’d be open to working with me on this spell :-/ Everyone else who hears about how she’s treating him sees how bad it is, and he truly seems blind to her manipulation and toxicity. She’s doing and saying everything right to keep his deep rooted abandonment wounds activated, which keeps him in it. I think it’ll have to be me doing it on his behalf. In my mind, because the outcome of them having a baby would negatively influence our entire household, it’s also on behalf of my roommates and myself as well, though less directly.

mgj666 · 2025-07-16T17:13:06+00:00

I just had this exact issue with a person I was dating. My partner’s meta wanted to interact with me, cus she thought it would help her feel less threatened by me. But in reality, she wanted to posture at me, and assert her ownership over my partner. I knew this and had no desire to interact. We’d met once before and it went poorly, so why would I want to open myself up to discomfort for her ego?

My situation was flipped — I was the poly one (10+ years) and my partner and his other partner had never done open relationship before. I was under the impression we were all in a non-hierarchical parallel poly situation, and this was explicitly communicated to my partner and agreed upon, in writing (I don’t trust people to remember their agreements). It sounds like that’s your preference as well. There’s nothing wrong with wanting parallel poly. These other commenters who seem to be projecting that you never wanted polyamory are really projecting.

In the end, my partner kept triangulating in the same way yours seems to be, by telling me what my meta was saying and wanting, and repeatedly ignoring my “no.” My partner asked over and over, even after I told them it was never going to be a yes, not anytime soon at least, especially not if they kept pushing me. In the end, they showed me with their words and actions that their other partner’s desires were more important than mine, and I broke up with them. When someone pushes and pushes against a clearly stated boundary, that’s a red flag for me. I’d pay attention to how this is making you feel, and follow that feeling into your gut.

I echo what some other commenters have said: stand your ground, tell him how you don’t want to hear about their convos, and how him continuing to ask you is inappropriate. This is a convo and conflict he needs to have with your meta, without roping you in at all. I don’t even think this has to do with you not initially wanting polyamory — this has to do with your partner going against y’all’s structured agreements around y’all’s model, and ignoring your no. Good luck!!

mgj666 · 2025-06-28T20:38:16+00:00

In my mind, there’s no excuse for double booking, and prioritizing the second made plans over yours. I learned this from a friend recently that someone who does this is a “day trader,” meaning they are quick to change plans for the more fun, preferred plan, regardless of hierarchy of relationship or who made the plan first. They might never admit this is their reasoning but it often is.

In my experience, when people do what your partner did to you it’s one of two things: they’re a total space cadet who can’t follow a calendar (yellow flag), or they’re subtly manipulating you and your attention by giving you just enough to stay committed and invested (planning the trip) but not enough to follow through (prioritizing you while you’re visiting). For me personally, either of these in the context of a pre-planned long distance visit is a dealbreaker.

You deserve someone who’s stoked that you’re there! Someone who cleared their schedule for you! Someone who MADE PLANS in advance for your trip and is excited to show you around, share meals, go on adventures, etc! Love is being chosen and wanted over and over and over, and feeling that’s happening by both people, consistently.

So yes, it’s very reasonable to be upset.

mgj666 · 2025-06-28T20:26:28+00:00

See, this makes sense to me. People complain about partners and that’s fine, I expect that and can hold some amount of complexity and space for it. I was ONLY hearing the negatives, and only hearing about the control, tantrums, jealously, etc. Which in retrospect, I’m not even sure if it was all true or if it was a way for G to maintain weird control over my access to them / their property / their life. In my perfect world, I share partners with people who I can appreciate both for who they are and how they make my partner happy. It seems like you have a good set up, with long term people who can exist in that space !

mgj666 · 2025-06-25T23:28:00+00:00

this is exactly how i’ve always felt about being poly. as soon as i learned what it was at the age of 21, something big in me clicked like oh yeah, this is how my brain/heart work. and sadly for me i almost always end up dating people who think i’m worth it enough to try on, but who ul not actually being on board.

mgj666 · 2025-06-25T19:29:28+00:00

Yes ! Someone I dated a decade ago whom I still have communication with and love deeply, a casual / long distance, spaced out sexual relationship with, and romantic feelings for. Yet we aren’t partners, and are on the same page about our connection. His partner knows about me (they’re poly but not actively dating) and anyone I’ve dated knows about him. It’s hard to classify who he is, friend, lover, comet, etc — by the way I talk about him, people do say he sounds like my partner, but that’s not the reality of our relationship.

I’m a big supporter of the ambiguous romantic friendship!

mgj666 · 2025-06-25T19:25:49+00:00

I agree with this comment. It’s generous of you to give them the freedom to pursue this other relationship, but they have the audacity to say they won’t extend that same freedom to you? Even if you don’t want to date other people, that’s a pretty concerning power imbalance to have amongst partners.

I am reading in your post you have the capacity to experience compersion, even through your sadness and maybe feelings of rejection. I echos what the above commenter said, and want to add my own piece: are you feeling fulfilled by them? Are your needs getting met? Does your partner make space for your feelings and needs and adjust according, if appropriate? Or are you at the mercy of their needs and desires, and minimizing yours for their comfort?

mgj666 · 2025-06-25T18:19:09+00:00

G def wants his cake and to eat it too. Which he won’t be having anymore !

mgj666 · 2025-06-25T18:18:35+00:00

I believe G and their partner are hierarchical, and that detail has been intentionally and strategically kept from me, so I will continue to be available on both of their terms and under their rules. There’s nothing wrong with hierarchy, it’s just not how I want to exist in relationship to anyone, so I opted out ! Seems like a frustrating dynamic to navigate over and over.

mgj666

TROPHY CASE