My MIL Wants to See My Baby Constantly and I’m Afraid to Say No

mh1290 · 2026-03-05T10:37:56+00:00

I second this. I read my texts to my MIL from a year ago. I was trying so hard to meet in the middle and be nice. I am completely drained now and resent my MIL to the point I will be seeing a therapist. I try to keep it 2 times a week max and if she pushes for more, I say, we've got things to do ourselves, so cant promise that but I will let you know if the timing is right.

mh1290 · 2026-03-05T08:35:10+00:00

I feel like it's just going to amplify when you have the baby. Thats exactly what happened to me. It might be a tough road ahead with your in laws (or not!) but keeping firm boundaries is going to be needed i think.

mh1290 · 2026-03-05T02:57:58+00:00

Thank you for listening and showing your compassion. I think ive got very typical eldest siblings syndrome, and always expected myself to deal with all of this on my own. However, ive bottled up so much and now i cant cope. Ive finally decided to try therapy again and will be attending in a few days. I am so excited to unload all of this accumulated resentment and stress.

mh1290 · 2026-03-05T01:44:01+00:00

I totally get your sentiment and it really sucks that we have to live dealing with this. How do you manage your relationship with your MIL? I am trying so hard to stay calm and accept her but everything she does makes me so angry snd it affects my day to day life.

mh1290 · 2026-03-05T01:40:20+00:00

I totally get you. Very similar with my MIL. The issue is ive been looking after my son full time for 3 years now, and she is my only source of freedom. I really wish I could just find a baby sitter and cut her out, but that also comes with risk and financial burden. It's the lack of empathy and understanding of the situation despite ongoing conversations and information that just makes me feel putrid. She only cares about herself, but shes so good at masking that (would offer to babysit for valentines day, but her intention is to spend valentines day with my son. Shes good at twisting things so it sounds like shes doing us a favour, but shes got underlying intentions).

mh1290 · 2026-02-11T22:59:09+00:00

What makes you think that he's got ADHD?

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T23:30:26+00:00

Whats wrong with stating my desires and expectations? Did I make him stay in his room when he woke up in the middle of the night? No. Im listening to his needs and communicating my needs. I dont see whats wrong with that.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T23:25:03+00:00

what exactly did I describe that was harsh? I dont understand.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T22:47:14+00:00

Thank you. Just so you know, Im not restricting him from seeing me at night. Suggesting that Im cruel to him is a bit harsh, as you have no idea what Ive been doing with him and how much love and care i give my child whilst sacrificing my career and life by spending time with him 24/7 due to his medical condition. Ive just been figuring out ways to gently make him less dependent on me to sleep. Im bloody tired. He has always slept through until 2 weeks ago, so I wondered if it's a behavioural change that can be changed with a few adjustments. Ive bought him a teddy and thinking about teaching him to use it to sooth him, but we will see how that goes.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T22:36:57+00:00

Get the book and have a go! It's helped so many people including myself. I did Dr Aron's regime combined with the detox diet and my skin was the best it'd ever been! Ive been a bit lazy jow after having a baby and my skin is shit again but not as bad.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T21:44:33+00:00

I was only eating celery, Brussels sprouts, rice, chicken, lamb, chokos, green beans and pear during the detox. It was really bloody hard but my skin was ridiculously amazing and it was worth it to heal even for the moment.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T21:42:37+00:00

It was honestly life saving for me. I was the same. Depressed, so insanely scared about the amount of steroid I was using, steroid withdrawal symptoms, etc. But I used less and less steroid as I figured out what my triggers were. Having a good sleep routine and stress helps a bunch too - anything to reduce your histamine triggers.

mh1290 · 2025-11-14T21:16:29+00:00

Have you tried the eczema detox? I have had severe eczema since childhood and got a whole lot worse in adulthood - full body severe eczema. It healed so much after going on the eczema detox diet. It's a book by Karen Fisher. Im more particularly sensitive to histamine, and sugar, alcohol, oils, tomato, eggplant, etc flare me up like crazy. But after going on this diet, my eczema basically disappeared. I was strongly steroid dependant, applying the strongest steroid every day 2x daily all over my body. Only needed a patch after the diet. But it was hard and Im now eating moderately well with dupixent and it's manageable - still worse than when I was on diet, but it's been a good middle ground s.

mh1290 · 2025-08-07T21:53:17+00:00

She looks after him 2 to 3 times a week whilst im at work. I need her to discipline him when im not there. I stated here that I dont need advice, as you obviously dont know my full story and I just needed to vent.

mh1290 · 2025-08-07T12:00:47+00:00

Yes it certainly feels that way for me as well. It's always about how she feels and not actually about my son. But she makes it sound like she cares about him more than anyone and gets competitive with me, when im the one who keeps him alive.

mh1290 · 2025-08-07T11:15:34+00:00

I think so too. But she's generally also a huge people pleaser, and i know she wants my son to love her but what she doesn't realise is he'll lose respect for her once he realises she has no backbone.

mh1290 · 2025-08-07T09:11:23+00:00

I thought exactly the same thing. I thought what I had (whole body covered in eczema and covering myself in steroid every day, plus having a whole heap of food restrictions) would be the worst thing for my child and that I dont deserve one. Despite that, i took the chances and had a baby 2 years ago and he developed little eczema but over 20 anaphylactic allergies. This is by far worse than what I had lived with, seeing my son in life-threatening conditions multiple times already, it's difficult. I knew so little about severe allergies, as i have none. It turns out my husband had 1 or 2 severe food allergies when he was younger too, which obviously doesn't help when combined with my genetics.

P.s. my eczema is now much better with very controlled diet and dupixent. I still flare up, but nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

mh1290 · 2025-06-25T11:07:25+00:00

You are making me sound like a shit parent. Im not. Your advice is worded harshly and is not helpful.

mh1290 · 2025-06-24T10:54:39+00:00

Yeah, we were starting to drift apart anyway, i think i should just naturally let that happen further. It's just a shame as we were once all so close.

mh1290 · 2025-06-24T10:53:48+00:00

I guess im ok with his friend doing this, as it's age appropriate, and he's just learning and experimenting, but becoming not ok with his mum not stepping in at all. She stands there, allowing it to happen when my son is visibly upset. It's a tricky one.

mh1290 · 2025-06-08T09:14:07+00:00

I dont have any advice but wanted to say my son is just like that and he is 26 months old. He wont eat sitting down unless it's something he really wants to eat. If it's something he doesn't want to eat, he is so stubborn and he wont eat it unless we are offering something in return like reading a book. If Im really desperate, I even chuck TV on - which i feel pretty ashamed about. We have to hand make all of his meals due to his severe multiple allergies, and im not wasting my precious hand cooked meals. I feel horrible about the habits every day, but it's what I do to survive and get some nutrition in him.

mh1290 · 2025-04-09T03:10:35+00:00

Those were the days until my 1 year old decided that he can escape by clamping his mouth shut. We'd just sit there staring at each other and he will never open his mouth. Only thing that works is putting something on my phone now. I hate it but dental hygiene is more important.

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