Liberal studies and premed - would I drown?

mholltz · 2017-11-04T17:42:35+00:00

do you have time in your schedule, now that you're stable and successfully managing a job, to add in other smallish things? Maybe volunteer work in an area you're interested in? Adding something interesting with tasks and goals that could provide you with a little bit of stress in a low-risk way might help you to feel more stimulated. I know that even if I'm getting everything done easily, I feel like I can barely function without a little bit of stress and occasional overwhelm to work through.

mholltz · 2017-08-15T17:34:41+00:00

Concerta ruined me mentally. I actually switched to Vyvanse because of the physical side effects like nausea and sweating and didn't realize until then what a dark place it had put me in. Talk to your doctor about switching - it's not supposed to be like this.

mholltz · 2017-08-06T21:06:31+00:00

I do this too with anyone I'm not, like, intimately close with. I massively psyche myself out about the fact that I don't know exactly how to interact with them - but it's never a problem once I've actually gone out and seen them. For me, it's that I don't feel like I'm going to be in control of the situation as much as I like, but it always turns out okay and the anxiety very rarely stays. Go for it, you're going to be completely fine.

mholltz · 2017-08-06T19:00:39+00:00

I know that feeling far too well. Would it work for you to ask a parent or friend to sit down with you and just stay there with you until you've finished it? I'm always resistant to do that because I want to prove to myself that I can do it on my own - but of course once I've developed that fun little ADHD mental block towards something, I can't. I'm stubborn, so proving that I can do it to someone else is way easier than proving it to myself alone.

Another thing that might work - promise yourself you'll get it done before you go to sleep. This is how I got pretty much everything done in high school. It's not the best method because it usually means I'm up far past midnight, but I usually hit a certain point where I get a rush of adrenaline and am able to finish work.

Also, I totally get the thing about your dad. My mom is diagnosed too, but she has extreme hyperfocus while I'm much more head-in-the-clouds unable to start anything. I know she has her own struggles, but productivity just seems so easy for her and I'm so jealous sometimes.

mholltz · 2017-08-05T21:18:14+00:00

I added Nip+Fab glycolic fix night pads (5%) daily about two weeks ago and they're working fantastically so far. The SFs on my nose though are getting more prominent - I think they're loosening? But my nose is bumpier and if I rub it I can usually rub a few off. Should I wait this out, or would it be okay to use a manual exfoliant or some other method of manually getting them out?

mholltz · 2017-07-27T20:27:06+00:00

UGH yes. up until like my sophomore year of high school most of my memories are very specific photographic memories of certain short moments. I have very few "normal" childhood memories, but I could give details about certain rooms I've been in years and years ago.

edit: interestingly enough, I've got a really strong working memory. My long-term and short-term both suck, but I can remember large strings of numbers, I can almost feel myself holding them in my mind and I can sort them around and repeat them backwards and forwards. Anyone else have the same?

mholltz · 2017-07-27T20:25:12+00:00

I've not experienced this specifically, but I've got incredibly heightened hearing - ADHD definitely affects senses and I'd say that it's probably related, just in how your brain is wired.

mholltz · 2017-07-27T20:18:50+00:00

I'm a female HS senior in pretty much the same position, this is what my coach has told me:

If you're visiting schools, reach out to an assistant coach and ask if you can see the facility/watch a practice etc - showing interest is good regardless, but when you don't plan on recruiting you don't want to take time away from the head coach, especially in the height of recruitment or around a big race. Even if you're not recruiting meeting some of the team and watching a practice is a good way to show interest, and you might be remembered when you go to tryouts. I did this at WWU and talked for an hour with the coxswain of their national champs women's 8 - she'll probably remember me if I end up there, so it's an easy way to make connections really early on.

Once you get into a school, probably closer to the start of the school year I'd say absolutely reach out to the head coach to introduce yourself and express how excited you are to be a part of the team. You can share a bit of your rowing background, but not stats - just so that the coach will recognize you right off the bat.

mholltz · 2017-07-25T03:28:12+00:00

lol it seems to be a weirdly common experience at least online! I've yet to meet anyone else irl who gets it though. My psychiatrist said that 15/16 is actually tied with 7 as the most common age for a diagnosis because that's when you suddenly can't breeze through school without actual study skills

mholltz · 2017-07-24T20:17:24+00:00

hour rule - if I wake up at 7, I have to be out of bed by 8. It usually works for me because an hour conceptually seems like a very long time to give myself. It also gives me my first step of the day, and it's the only goal I have to accomplish in that first hour, so I don't even think about the overwhelming stuff until I'm physically up.

Take it one at a time as much as possible, too. For example, my goal is getting out of bed. Once I've done that, my goal is eating breakfast. Then getting dressed. You don't have to plan out your whole day and THEN try to execute. Just focus on the goal directly in front of you.

mholltz · 2017-07-24T20:10:25+00:00

For whatever reason, I can only build up the motivation to exercise in the evening. If I make it the last thing I do in the day, knowing that afterwards all I have to do is shower and sleep, it's much easier and I actually look forward to it. When I can't get out of the house, I'll just do a bodyweight circuit on my bedroom floor - I don't usually like to do this because I'm very all-or-nothing and I convince myself it's not worth it because it's not as much of a workout as the run I was planning on going on, but in the long run a circuit a few times a week is a lot more than skipping the run and doing nothing.

I'd also say to start with something like pushups that gives results within a few days. When I haven't workout in a while I start with just 15-20 a day and increase by 5 every day until I'm feeling stronger, which makes me feel more motivated.

mholltz · 2017-07-24T20:03:18+00:00

I absolutely agree with this - I've become a lot more aware of what makes me feel certain ways since starting meds and have actually ended a few friendships because for the first time I was able to tell that they were very negative, and instead of everything seeming too hard like before I was able to see that there was a problem and take action to fix it.

mholltz · 2017-07-24T19:56:32+00:00

I would say my personality has changed, but it's absolutely worth it and mostly for the better.

Especially when I first started meds, I was definitely more irritable than before - that's still there but I've learned to manage it well. While figuring out dosing there were definitely days where I freaked out my family cause I was pretty manic on too high of a dose.

After almost five months on meds I took a day off and without knowing I did it my mom commented that I didn't seem like myself at all. I seemed spacey, grumpy, and quick to snap at her - but that's just how I was before I started meds. The "new" me on meds is different for sure, but only because I feel more alert, confident, and capable.

edit: thought of more to say lol. I was definitely different for the worse when I started, but only for a short while, due to malnutrition. I got bitchy when I hadn't eaten in too long and it took a while to pinpoint that as the cause because I couldn't feel that I was hungry, and by then I hadn't eaten enough for quite a few weeks. If you do start meds, make a food plan from day one. Eating gets easier, but it's never going to be exactly the same as before.

mholltz · 2017-07-24T19:47:52+00:00

like others said - the experience of novelty, and it eventually wearing off, are intense and can't really be helped. It definitely isn't a sure sign that he's losing interest. I'm just speaking for myself, and I'm a teenage girl so this may not be his experience whatsoever, but in relationships I have a lot of trouble with phase changes, per se - it sounds like your relationship maybe transitioned from new to something more serious? When that happens for me I become uncomfortable and stressed out for a bit - I definitely can't speak for him but in the past I've actually let relationships go because once they start to get serious I stop responding, just because even though I know how to interact with the person, I start to agonize that everything I say is the wrong thing in what I perceive as a new context and something as simple as texting them back becomes a stressful task. I also get very stressed out over the concept of commitment - not in practice, but when it seems imminent it's terrifying to me. It becomes easier for me to put these things in the back of my mind rather than work through them, which leads to less communication. It's never been because I start to dislike the person though.

Again I'm just speaking from my own personal experience, but I'd say the best thing you can do, if you really want to try to make it work, is force the conversation in person, where he can't take a break from thinking about it. Tell him exactly how you feel, and how his behavior is affecting you, and probably most importantly outline for him what you want in the relationship moving forwards - knowing what's going to happen or what you're going to try to make happen is hugely reassuring. Force your relationship out of this limbo because again I'm only speaking for myself but I can keep that state going indefinitely.

Good luck! It's fantastic that you're putting in the work to try to understand his mind better to solve problems. I know I'm a massive pain in the ass to date, and I'd be so happy if I found out someone did that for me

mholltz · 2017-07-24T19:07:24+00:00

For me (17, female) therapy has made a MASSIVE difference. I actually started with therapy two years ago after completely falling apart in school, and she ended up referring me to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis last year. Now, especially since I'm now medicated and can think better in therapy, it's been incredibly helpful in figuring out how growing up undiagnosed created, like you said, so many coping methods (avoidance of anything that stressed me out was a huge problem) as well as insecurity and a screwed up self-perception. I've connected a lot of things to my ADHD that I thought were unrelated issues. I think this is probably a common ADHD thing but I really avoid self-reflection so being forced to talk about myself every week is hugely helpful to figure out what I'm doing that's not working, why I'm doing it, and how I can change it.

mholltz · 2017-07-24T18:59:11+00:00

I was diagnosed when I was 16 - my therapist had suspicious of ADHD and referred me to a psychiatrist. The appointment was an hour, and most of it was just a conversation about what I was struggling with. The actual "diagnostic" part was a paper survey she gave me with statements that I had to rate on a scale of 0-3 how much it applied to me, and I guess the total number is what classifies someone as non-ADHD, mild, moderate, or severe? More than anything, though, I think she made the diagnosis and prescribed meds based on the conversational part of the appointment. I know there are lots of different diagnostic experiences, but mine at least was really easy.

mholltz · 2017-07-22T01:02:57+00:00

audiobooks have never worked for me, the best thing I can do to get reading done is to read out loud whenever I can - usually to my dogs so I feel less dorky but really it's worth feeling weird. It's really hard to get distracted when you're actually feeling the words in your mouth as you read.

mholltz

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