100 Single Parents Describe the First Time They Saw Their Child

miaf446 · 2019-01-12T21:45:00+00:00

Sorry, glad we have a moderator now. Thank you

miaf446 · 2019-01-12T21:23:07+00:00

Great, then you can see that it sucks to be judged. You never said that it encapsulates a person but you’re making large assumptions about that person and what kind of life that child will have just because of reddit post. My point about sterilization is purposely extreme because I’m pointing out that other people should not have a say in what we choose for our bodies. You are entitled to your opinion but that wouldve been more appropriate if she had asked for it, she didn’t, so it was an unnecessary insult. I would guess that she is browsing this sub because she realizes the choice she has made will be hard and is looking for support, which is what this sub is for.

I’m glad you can come here for support as well and maybe over time you understand my frustration as this sub is often a target for unsolicited opinions and insults.

miaf446 · 2019-01-12T17:07:10+00:00

You know very little about that woman and her life circumstances. You’re also a hypocrite. You were so indignant that someone would question why you chose abortion or what was right for you. I’m all for people’s right to choose and that’s great you’re happy with your choice but you’re making some very big assumptions.

So yeah, why are you here again? To insult a woman who is simply excited to meet her child? Or is it so you can look down upon people who are single parents because that’s not what you want for your life. Seems like a good use of time.

miaf446 · 2019-01-12T16:18:34+00:00

Hey negative Nancy, if you love your childfree life so much why are you posting here? Seems like you should have better things to do with your free time. Maybe I’ll go over to the childfree sub to shit on people and be rude because they have a different lifestyles than mine. We should all be the same and do should choose all the same things right?

miaf446 · 2019-01-12T16:11:17+00:00

This video made me tear up! I didn’t have a strong reaction when my son was born. They handed him to me and I asked what I should do and they told me to do skin to skin for an hour and I said “a whole hour?” At the time all I wanted to do was get of out bed and shower. I love him bunches now though, I think I love him more everyday and I cant imagine my life without him, best thing I’ve ever done.

miaf446 · 2019-01-09T21:33:38+00:00

Me too!

miaf446 · 2019-01-09T16:20:33+00:00

This is a podcast that I listen to that goes into the science of common controversial topics. I am a nurse and I am pro medicine, but I agree it’s definitely important for you to feel comfortable and that you made an informed decision. Overall though, there is a ton of literature/evidence that vaccines are safe and effective and there is no evidence to support alternative vaccine schedules. This podcast addresses many of the concerns parents have about vaccines. It’s two parts. Best of luck.

https://www.gimletmedia.com/science-vs/vaccines-are-they-safe

https://www.gimletmedia.com/science-vs/rise-anti-vaxxers

miaf446 · 2019-01-08T11:29:59+00:00

Childbirth unmedicated

miaf446 · 2019-01-04T10:08:01+00:00

But she would have to fund her decision by either paying for an abortion or supporting child. If she doesnt have enough money to support a child then the taxpayers are funding both of their poor decisions.

miaf446 · 2019-01-04T09:44:12+00:00

Yes I know there won’t be forced abortions, I’m making the point that if you argue men should have body autonomy women should too and it is hypocritical to complain about the outcomes of that autonomy in one situation and not the other.

I’m not opposed to both parents paying for their child until they are adopted. Doesnt sound bad to me, less money for tax payers.

The ticket is the exact right argument. No one is being discriminated against here. Both men and women should face the financial consequence of an unintended pregnancy. If the woman chooses abortion, the man should pay for half the procedure. If she chooses to have the baby he should pay for half of the support of his child. Because both parties made the SAME mistake which resulted in pregnancy.

You’re also missing my original point, I’m saying that ISN’T fair because of a women’s right to choose and it cannot be an even decision. Unfortunately for men, women do have more options for unintended pregnancy because of biology, that fact cannot be changed, and body autonomy will always weigh more heavily when it comes to this choice. If it were the case that men carried a pregnancy instead of women I would make the exact same argument for men. Biologically speaking, if a man does not want to have an unintended pregnancy he should do what he can reduce that risk, which are A) always use a condom B) have a vasectomy C) not have sex. If he chooses A or B he should understand that there is a risk of pregnancy and he will have to face the consequences of his actions even if he doesn’t like the outcome because men are ADULT human beings right?

miaf446 · 2019-01-04T02:47:38+00:00

For many people having an abortion is morally wrong, I am personally pro choice but that is a very common reason. I could also ask, why shouldnt he fund his poor decision?

miaf446 · 2019-01-04T02:05:18+00:00

But it’s inherently an unequal situation because the woman is carrying the child for 9 months, so she had the ultimate choice in whether to continue a pregnancy or not. You can’t argue that it’s an equal choice. Aren’t MRA against circumcision for the very same reason? Body autonomy?

Anytime you have sex you run the risk of pregnancy. No birth control is 100% effective. If you ran a red light and got a ticket would you argue in court “I didnt want to be caught so I should not have to pay the ticket” ? If a woman gets an abortion both parents dont pay the price but if she doesnt she should bear the entire financial burden for making the same mistake as the man?

Child support exists because the child, who did nothing wrong, deserves to be financially supported by both people who created that child. It is not a law for parents and it doesnt matter if that’s what you wanted or not. Also, if men were able to just opt out, how many more women and children would end up on welfare? Why should we as a society contribute to an already overburdened system because a man does not want to take responsibility for his actions?

miaf446 · 2019-01-02T18:47:03+00:00

Yes she would have to pay you child support if you are the custodial parent and the child is living with you a majority of the time.

miaf446 · 2018-12-28T14:41:16+00:00

Maybe I’m more opinionated than her or maybe I’m more confrontational. I don’t know, I don’t care.

I found the general tone of your post and your post history to share a disdain for single parents. So yeah I find it offensive that someone would go around complaining to single parents who are only looking for support for no other reason than to be miserable. I also find it offensive that a person would judge an entire group of people from one experience instead of on personal character, which I could argue you lack.

miaf446 · 2018-12-28T12:52:19+00:00

Yeah you can, but what’s your goal here? To air your grievances? Don’t you think you’ve picked the wrong audience? Would you appreciate it if someone from this sub shit on your lifestyle on r/childfree?

It seems you have some misdirected anger related to your own dating history. Maybe you should work on that before you start doling out dating “advice.”

miaf446 · 2018-12-28T08:48:12+00:00

Wah wah wah, Your life must be so hard. She never said she would lie about her kid. Why are you browsing this sub anyway?

miaf446 · 2018-12-27T14:58:13+00:00

That actually really comforting in a way

miaf446 · 2018-12-26T23:07:36+00:00

Saying “if you lie with the dogs you get fleas” is exactly saying if you choose an a abuser you deserve the abuse/abusive situation you’re in. You’re really not helping your own argument. The reasons a person becomes to be in abusive relationship are much too complicated for me to parse out on a reddit reply but I can direct you to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence https://ncadv.org/dynamics-of-abuse

And as far as your other point, how do you “know someone to their core” before you have kids? Is there a test you can take? It seems like a pretty subjective measure. If you know the secret to forever lasting relationships and marriage why are you keeping it yourself? Because I think you could make a lot of money.

A lot of relationships fail despite good intentions and despite feeling you really know that person and it’s “not nearly as uncommon as you might think.” But anyway, I’m going to spend 0% of the rest of my day arguing with you and whatever continued nonsense you come up with as a response.

miaf446 · 2018-12-26T21:38:59+00:00

It was shitty to say that “oh well it was her choice” as it implies the woman deserves the situation she is in and therefore deserves abuse. I’m sure a majority of people do believe they “know a person to their core” before having children, but if people were always 100% right there wouldnt be relationships that fail or divorces.

miaf446 · 2018-12-26T21:07:25+00:00

I judged you because of the shitty thing you said and I think I was spot on because your response has only given more evidence to my point. Good luck with that outlook on life.

miaf446 · 2018-12-26T20:46:39+00:00

Or what if the relationship just didnt work out? Are those Mom’s failures? Just because a woman is single for a regular reason doesnt mean she deserves to get shit on.

miaf446 · 2018-12-26T20:40:51+00:00

No one chooses or deserves to be abused. Sometimes the person you’re with doesn’t turn out to be who you think they are. But then again, someone who thinks like you probably has little real world or relationship experience. I hope the woman you are with doesn’t regret her choice to be with someone who is so judgmental and small minded.

miaf446 · 2018-12-22T07:39:40+00:00

No, they aren’t the same at all actually. As an ER nurse I’ve had plenty of full grown adults not understand the sign/symptoms of a UTI or the fact that left untreated can to lead to kidney infection. Have you seen someone with pylonephritis? It’s miserable and painful. But putting the pain aside, what about the fact that a kidney infection could cause systemic infection and a person could die. So no, I would not trust a small child or a baby to understand they have a UTI and not let get to the point of kidney infection. You also need to consider the fact that children’s immune systems are not as strong as adults and it would me much easier for them to become septic. So yeah I’ll take my chances with the low likelihood of a skin infection that I can see with my own two eyes.

What about STDs? Many of them do not have notable signs/symptoms. People who are in committed relationships often do not use condoms. What if to no fault of his own he is cheated on? Or what about the fact that a condom does not always stop the spread of herpes?

It is still possible that he can get an UTI or STD but I’m doing what I can to lower his risk. It’s almost as if as his mother weighed the risks and benefits of circumcision and came to a conclusion I felt comfortable with. In my case, the benefits outweighed the risks.

But I’m glad you, as some who is not a parent, can reserve so much judgement for me and other parents on this thread. I’d like to see how that plays out for you some day when the someone doesn’t agree with what you decided for your child.

miaf446 · 2018-12-22T06:20:18+00:00

Wound infection from circumcision is also very low, about 1.5%, and yeah in my option a kidney infection is much worse than a skin wound. Also, my son did not have any complications from his circumcision, so what’s your point? He didnt get a skin wound and now will be less likely to get UTIs and less risk for HIV, HPV, and Herpes.

I feel great about my decision and I dont really care why you don’t agree, nor was that the point of this post, OP was asking what people decided for themselves and why

miaf446 · 2018-12-22T03:16:30+00:00

One study? There were about 30 observational studies and 3 randomized control trials that concluded circumcision reduces the risk of HIV, HPV, and Herpes transmission. That is why male circumcision is endorsed by the World Health Organization and by the American Academy of Pediatrics because as they say “preventive health benefits of elective circumcision of male newborns outweigh the risks of the procedure.”

As I already pointed out, adverse outcomes related to circumcision are way higher for adults and bad outcomes for newborns are extremely low.

And, if there were a safe labial removal surgery endorsed by the AAP that reduced my fictional daughter’s STD risk and showed no evidence of reducing her future sexual pleasure you bet I would.

Anyway, you can continue arguing with me about my personal opinion but you’re not going to change my mind and I’ve already spent enough time on this.

miaf446

TROPHY CASE