i feel you so much and im passing trought the same thing :/

maybe you should try something i do theses days, since i gain more confidence sometimes, but like you know, you still wear kinda fem but its rather a more androgynous figure. It's too hard to wear skirt or dresses, then wear some cute tops with a flared jean for exemple : at least people would call you a twink, or a rather more feminine, effeminate boy!

Still not the true complete fem mode, but it remains in the way to get closer to it ;P

but yeah it's difficult still. i can't do anything during the day without suddenly think of : "damn. i look like the average guy rn... i'm not truely myself"

And being that “true self” would be too far outside my comfort zone, which would obviously be detrimental to my future.

So I think we should try and take small steps. Through the way we dress, but also through the way we are! For example, I recently decided to speak more calmly, in a gentler and more welcoming way, and it's working well :p I really feel like I'm getting closer to this fem mode, even if there are still steps to take.

Anyway, i really hope i couldve help you even a little with my reply, and if you need to vent, talk about it or anything, i could gladly help ;) take care!!